Tacky to me - the personal phone call (a few days before the wedding) asking you to help ‘set up’ for the reception the day before the wedding… This means putting chair covers on, making floral arrangements, decorating, etc., oh, and taking a vacation day.
D ‘threw’ a bouquet to her best friend - they had talked about it when they were young girls. “If you get married first, you throw the bouquet to me.” Most everyone knew the story, and those who didn’t learned about it that night. D will be the matron of honor in this friend’s wedding in less than six months.
I think it’s tacky when a wedding is ALL about the couple. Yes, we are celebrating their wedding but a good wedding should be a gracious and fun affair where all the guests can have a good time, relax, and mingle, not where every single moment is an orchestrated attention grab. if you’ve been to one of these, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
I went to a small town wedding where they stopped the music at the reception. The happy couple took over the microphone and opened their wedding gifts. “A blender from Uncle Joe and Aunt Julie.”
I shipped my gift to the bride’s home a couple of weeks prior. I was embarrassed for about 5 seconds.
I had a wedding that had to be moved outdoors because the bride’s hoop skirt was too wide to fit down the aisle and she refused to collapse it (which she planned to do later for dancing at the reception). She determined this at the rehearsal the night before. Which happened to be a rainy night.
A carpet remnant was brought for the bridal party to stand on out in the soft dirt, but all of the guests (who hadn’t been warned) had to stand slowly sinking their high heels into the ground while the wedding took place outdoors at 6 p.m. on an October evening. The organist had a keyboard, and we had to stand on the lawn in a place that extension cords could reach. Cold, dark, uncomfortable - buy hey, the skirt looked perfect (if you didn’t notice the mud at the bottom edges!).
The bridal party left the room where they’d dressed a mess, with all of their trash strewn around, toilets unflushed and the carpet remnant still laying out on the lawn. Cigarette butts everywhere. Not saying who, but SOMEONE :-/ delivered the carpet and trash to their front porch while they were on their honeymoon. Did I mention they did not pay me or the organist, since we gave them our true opinion of the outdoor ceremony?
The invitation I just got where the the couple (who have been living together for several years) indicated that they have all the “things” they need and would like cash for their wedding gifts.
It’s funny, it used to be a thing to actually display the wedding gifts before the wedding. You’ll find it in descriptions of fairly uppercrust weddings in fiction of the 30s and 40s. Now I think people would find it very tacky!
Consolation: It is still a thing some places to display wedding gifts before the wedding. And for those who do it, it is just their norm. Usually the “viewing” is only for family and very close friends. But it is an important custom.
adding: wait a few minutes and probably someone whose family does this will explain it much better than I can!
The custom of seating the bride’s family on one side of the church and the groom’s family on the opposite side. I went to a wedding with a hundred people on one side and 3 on the other. Ouch!
My mom displayed the wedding gifts on our basement ping-pong table and invited neighbors over for a viewing when my sister married in 1970. I’m not sure Mom had that etiquette correct; I can’t imagine subterranean gaming tables were meant to be the display venue when that custom was created. She did cover it with a sheet, however. Each gift was accompanied by a card indicating the giver.
I attended a wedding where guests were commanded by the emcee to applaud as they spectacularly set on fire an entire huge animal carcass that would be served as our dinner. I believe my road to vegetarianism was initiated that evening.
Cash bars-if you can’t afford to pay for alcohol then don’t serve it or limit it somehow. Wishing wells or any other thing that basically means cash only for gifts.
@alh, interesting that people are still doing it. Presumably not those who are from cultures that give money.
I have to say that I would be interested in seeing what china the couple had picked out, and things like that. I’d love to one of the ladies who came by for tea or lemonade and to take a gander at the gifts!
In the town where I grew up there is a very nice, very traditional shop that sells china, crystal, silver, and gifts, and one can order Crane’s personalized stationery…that kind of thing. They have a bridal registry. Back in the day–and they probably still do it–they would have a small table that displayed the china, crystal, and silver selected by brides, with a hand-written place card stating the bride’s name. I loved it, china fanatic that I am. It’s the same kind of small town tradition, I think.
@oneofthosemoms ROFL in the south we call those Sip and Sees. Another wedding activity the week of the wedding. Come by and see the gifts and have a drink. Whatever flat surface you have will work.
I thought it tacky when attending a modest late afternoon wedding the couple insisted that the guests could not have anything to eat at the reception which was a casual buffet until they arrived so they could see the spread. They kept us waiting for over an hour and there were many young families. No drinks no crackers. Nothing. It just made no sense.
@consolation, but now with the online bridal registry, it’s so easy to snoop. B-)
Still have my engraving plate, @alh. And back then you didn’t include the reply card. The wording on the reception card was “The favor of a reply is requested” or something to that effect as people seemed better at RSVPing.
