To abasket’s q - “what would you typically spend on a shower gift for a family member like this that you DO see often and know well?”
Here’s the thing. I don’t know, since our family is small. It’s just us, our parents, our children and our siblings and their children. Neither of us has ever had any “cousin” relationships – our (few) cousins are pretty much strangers; L was the only possible exception – and even that was based on fond childhood memories versus a current / ongoing relationship.
I know this is weird to those of you with larger families!
Lookingforward - the wedding appears to be in Milwaukee, so about 2 hours away from where I am. Sure, if invited I’d be happy to go but I’d let H have the final call as it’s his side, not mine. If he said he didn’t want to, I wouldn’t push the subject.
@pizzagirl You may or may not go to the wedding but I think you would still send a wedding gift.
If you don’t send a bridal shower gift (not necessary but nice to give) then you could give more for the wedding.
I think the wedding gift will be remembered more. (make more of an impact)
You could always say “I am sorry I won’t be able to make it to the bridal shower because I will be out of town but perhaps we could meet on another weekend or we would love to have you over next time you are in town.” (to maintain the relation since this is one cousin you may want to keep up with) Something like that would be one on one and more intimate to show we care for you and are interested in keeping up with you.
I don’t think a bridal shower gift is required if you are not attending and haven’t seen them in 15 years but if you want to maintain the relation it would be a nice gesture.
I wouldn’t consider the pricing of the gift unless it’s a very close relative or friend and there’s a known need for that specific item(s).
Then again, I was brought in in an environment where complaints about gifts due to price levels is a reflection of the complainant’s own entitlement/poor character, especially if the giver has the financial constraints of middle or lower-income folks which makes up most of our and many other societies’ population.
Towels and sheets are nice to give for a shower. I have purchased towels and arranged them like a 3 tier wedding cake and presented it on a cake plate for a bridal shower. I think the same thing can also be done with sheets. I am sure there are probably images on pinterest or directions on youtube.
Sheets and towels are a great shower gift. That prices is oretty close to what we were all suggesting. Around here, we can get two full sets of towels for about $50-$75. Maybe it’s price difference related to the specific bride choice…or area of the country.
When folks register elsewhere (eg Macy’s), you can tell the registry you bought the item elsewhere and they will note it on the registry. We bought some items at Cistco and Ross for nuece’s wedding and had the Mact’s registry indicate that the items were purchased so the couple didn’t get tons of the same items.
Bed Bath and Beyond will NOT delete things from the registry unless they are purchased at BBB.
This is funny…I sent a bride her blue kitchen aid mixer as a wedding present…about a week before the shower. Her mom was at BBB the same day I was and wanted to get the mixer as a shower gift. But their BBB didn have any blue in stock so she got silver. BBB refused to delete the item from the registry because it wasn’t the color registered for. And my blue purchase did t show up because it was happening at the same time!
Luckily we are really good friends…and just laughed and laughed about it. The blue one was kept, the silver returned. MOB purchased the pots and pans instead.
