D has indicated that she doesn’t want a wedding shower (when that time comes … soon). She says wedding showers are intended for those who are setting up a home … she does say she wants a baby shower when THAT time comes, though (she has home stuff, but not baby stuff).
The tackiest thing at a wedding? My niece and her new H consummated their marriage in a Sunday School room before they came to the church gym for their reception. They didn’t keep it a secret, either. I like to say that niece takes after her mom’s side (my brother is her dad).
I always thought bridal showers gifts were more personal items for the bride and wedding gifts were for the couples home. Also bridal showers gifts could be given based on a theme. For example in our family the bride wears all new clothes after she is married. All her wardrobe and accessories are brand new so those are things that are given on the bridal shower.
@raclut I think that is how bridal showers might have begun. But around here…a bridal shower is usually a gift shower and it can be anything…but usually for the home.
I’ve been to a few themed bridal showers…but not for decades.
And I never in my life recall anyone giving the bride the clothes she wears after marriage…except maybe one little negligee or something like that. But the wardrobe? No.
@thumper1 It is a cultural thing not an American custom. When my daughter gets married I will buy her a new wardrobe and accessories. It is just a symbol of a newlywed bride.
Ha! So I went back to Bed Bath & Beyond to check what I wanted to give this young woman, and I didn’t have the immediate link so I just googled “Bed Bath & Beyond” “registry” and her fiance’s name (as his is uncommon, whereas her name is common). Up pops the registry of one of the Duggar girls! I guess I never thought about the fact that “famous” people would have their registries online too!
@raclut, I think my D would stay single rather than give up her clothes and shoes. ADD to them, sure, unless that is what you mean?
@Pizzagirl I hadn’t heard that any of the younger Duggar girls were engaged. Of course, they’re not in the limelight like they used to be, thank goodness. I’ll bet some of their fans actually do buy them stuff though. They have some pretty die-hard followers.
A friend of mine got married and when I was back in town I went to the big department store. The clerk asked if I wanted to check the bridal registry and I said the wedding was 4-5 months ago, but sure try. Up popped her name and that of her ex husband (that marriage had been 5-6 years earlier I think). Even though most of the stuff on the registry was probably still wanted by the bride (her china and other items), I decided to go with towels. Towels are my default gift as I can usually get a set on clearance during Dillard’s big sale or even at TJ Maxx.
Amazon also has a box where you can check if you purchased the item elsewhere.
Since we’ve been talking about families and gifts, please tell me what you think. My much younger cousin (27 now) will be getting married next year. Technically, she is my generation, but she’s really more like my kids’ generation. She will likely have a high “cover the plate” cost (was going to use a different term, but couldn’t help myself. What I really mean is her parents will spend quite a bit on this affair). We are a party of five, including 3 adult but not self supporting kids. We will likely spend at least one night in a hotel for the wedding festivities. What kind of gift should we think about? Should our kids be buying their own gifts, or at less than 25ish, is it ok to still do one family gift? I have no idea what she will register for. She owns a (very inexpensive) home, but is still struggling financially. We are probably closer to their family than any other part of the family, if that matters.
@1214mom If it was me, I’d either give a nice gift from my husband and I and something a little more modest from the kids or one generous gift from the 5 of you. I would in total spend more than if it was just my husband and I attending. In their 20s, I think your kids can give their own gifts even if you wind up helping to subsidize the cost.
@1214mom, If I were in that situation I would have my kids select a tangible registry gift to give together (though I would pay for it) and I would give a check. Total $300-350
Ah, @Youdon’tsay, that’s something I haven’t thought about. Good point. I don’t anticipate planning any weddings for some time, but all these little details could drive you crazy.