^^It’s wicked lonely-I’m decluttering to keep myself from going stir crazy. I only have one class right now so I literally have nothing to do but clean, declutter, and haunt College Confidential.
@MotherofDragons, Acts of god absolve us from tackiness.
Tacky wedding things: My MIL didn’t get along with my BIL’s fiancee or her family. The wedding planning was a nightmare. The debate over what to wear went on for quite awhile. The men wore black tie. SIL’s mom wore a cream dress and jacket set. MIL chose a calf length red dress. It didn’t go over well. I think the families argued over it the entire length of the marriage (which was < 3 years but seemed much longer).
Formal dinnerware: I like formal place settings. My husband loves to cook, so when we got engaged I bought him china. I found a beautiful, complete set for 12 at a consignment shop. It’s ivory with small rose and grey flowers in the center. There are small gold leaves around the border. We use my mother’s silver for major holidays because it has to be hand washed, but we use our formal dishes every day. I use the crystal more than my husband does, but he works outside so he likes larger glasses.
My wedding color (in the matchy-matchy 80s) was that dusty mauve that was so popular then, and my mother wore a pale pink beaded gown. Lots of calla and rubrum lilies. My MIL deliberately chose a very bright, attention-getting gown with hot pink and bright colors - almost Lilly Pulitzer like in terms of brightness. It actually was a gorgeous gown, but it was very look-at-me. And I cried. It was silly of me, but still. There’s something to be said for restraint. I mean - politics aside, Melania Trump’s outfit the other night was gorgeous precisely because it was restrained - elegant cut, nothing at the neck or wrists or ears, nude heels. I would love to be able to pull that look off! I think it’s very rich looking. That dress in a color other than white would be a gorgeous MOB dress.
Pizzagirl, it was vey elegant and appropriate.
I didn’t think it so appropriate for a presidential convention. For me, without the poufy sleeve ends, it would have been the perfect balance of unusual and restrained. This was an “I’m beautiful and sexy” dress. I am not conservative about fashion, woudn’t expect her to show up in a little blue suit. But that, to me, was NYC ladies-who-lunch or early evening out for drinks at a ritzy venue.
I think that was her role, though. She is a lady who lunches and she’s not pretending to be a serious policy maker.
The dress itself is conservatively cut. It’s her nice figure that made it sexy. She has good taste – in clothing :-). She does that shoulder robing thing very well too (wearing a coat over her shoulders versus putting the arms in).
Agree she’s very stylish and has the looks for it. I’m not beholden to “rules,” but sensitive to the “woman as an attachment” thing. (And yes, there are times for that, too. 
) Just not the convention, that context. I get that there’s a calculation behind it the impression it leaves on Joe and Jane Ordinary.
I for one have never had a problem with candidates wearing expensive clothing (assuming it’s out of their own pocket, or donated by a designer who wants the exposure). I think it’s ridiculous to expect people appearing in front of millions to get their clothes from Target or JCP like the average person! I know Michelle Obama does a nice job of dressing up or down, but I’ve never done the “gosh, how she can relate if she wears $2000 dresses” type of nonsense with any candidate or spouse!
I saw a meme on FB about HRC that says - she’s not supposed to be relatable to the average woman, she was Sec of State, not Joan of Carpool.
My wedding was a small, elegant, 7 pm black tie event. My mother wanted to wear a beige linen pantsuit. I’m not kidding, and I was like, you need to be formal for a formal wedding. She ended up wearing a knee length dark blue matte long sleeve dress-something you’d wear in the office. In august. It was super exasperating, but it wasn’t the hill I was going to die on. She had an unhappy face in all of the pictures, so none of them really are on display, so it didn’t matter what she wore. But wow, really, just play along for one day, can’t ya? MIL totally rocked her outfit-off the shoulder pale pink floor-length sheath dress. So I don’t know if what my mother wore amounts to tacky, but it certainly fought with the spirit of the wedding.
I’m pretty sure I’ll be wearing pants to my own kids’ weddings, when and if. I can’t remember the last time I wore a dress or a skirt. But, I will be smiling. 
Also not tacky but very funny. When my sister got married my very prim and proper aunt called my mother to ask what her mother of the bride dress looked like. She did not want to wear a color or any style similar so as not to overshadow my mother. She then came to the rehearsal dinner in a beautiful suit that turned out to be the exact same color and style as my sisters (the bride). She was mortified and the rest of us thought it was hysterical. My sister the bride had her picture taken with her and shared it with everybody cause she thought it was so funny.
My funny wedding story, which I may have shared is that my older sis was MOB. She and I inadvertently ordered the exact same color and style of dress at Macy’s. Hers has some bling on the top (rhinestones, etc) and mine doesn’t. Her friends thought we had coordinated and done it on purpose, but I knew she wasn’t thrilled so I artfully draped a silk scarf over my bodice, completely changing the look of my dress so our dresses didn’t look matchy-matchy. 
My husband’s aunt and cousin (a mother and a daughter) came to our kids’ bar mitzvah in identical outfits (unplanned). Aunt is an excellent seamstress and had made both outfits. But it was just amusing, that’s all.
@Pizzagirl, my MIL wore a bubblegum pink dress. She was quite overweight and it was not particularly flattering. It never occurred to me to worry about what color she or my mother wore. They both agreed to wear long dresses and they told me that, I guess in case I objected. I thought my mother’s dress was too casual, it was one she’d had from her Tanzania days, tie dye with embroidery around the neck, but she was comfortable.
My brother and my best friend from college got married. My mom asked me what the MOB was going to wear since I knew her somewhat via SIL. MOB was an elem remedial reading teacher by day and ran a honky-tonk bar and pool hall at night. I told her, “Probably something black, short and sequined.” (This was 1985, LONG before black was an acceptable color for weddings.) My mom reluctantly bought a dress, hoping she wouldn’t pick the wrong color.
MOB showed up in black, scoop-necked, sequined mini dress. My mom was beyond shocked. I heard about it for years.
Tacky: Sister #2 had her third wedding at a Golden Corral. On a Friday night. They got married in a corner of the restaurant, then went to the food stations with everyone else in town. She is MOB to my dear, sweet niece who is getting married this weekend. We are holding our collective breath and hoping that my niece’s stepbrothers (not nice people and who are fond of making themselves the center of attention) will behave. Or not. And in that case, I may have stories for y’all next week!
It’s funny how we all worry about different things. It would never in a million years occur to me to care one way or another what my in laws wore to any occasion (including my own wedding). I wouldn’t really care what my own mother or sisters wore either.
But when it comes to my daughter … Steam comes out of my ears about her clothing choices sometimes. It’s been a life long battle.
I’m sure people are still talking about how tacky we were for letting our seven-year-old daughter show up to a formal wedding in a full-on cowboy outfit, complete with jeans, boots, hat and bandana. All the other little girls were in taffeta dresses. Believe me, it wasn’t my choice. (Her dad was way more indulgent than I was, and it was his relative’s wedding). It violated every rule about appropriateness, not upstaging the bride, etc., but at some point you just give up.
@CountingDown Looking forward to hearing your stories.
@nottelling “But when it comes to my daughter … Steam comes out of my ears about her clothing choices sometimes. It’s been a life long battle.” Are you my sister-in-law?
At my brother’s wedding, the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom wore the same dress, but in different pastel shades. Both moms handled it well.
D and I loved shopping together for my MOB dress. We chose something I never would have chosen on my own. I received many compliments. I wore the dress to another wedding this summer.
So I’m reading the descriptions (and unhappiness) with various mothers and MIL not wearing the “right” clothing to their children’s weddings, and I can’t for the life of me recall what my mother wore to my wedding to my ex 30+ years ago. It wasn’t a formal affair, but we did dress up. No amount of brain-wracking is helping me remember. I’m pretty sure dad had on a jacket and tie, like my ex’s dad. I have no idea what HIS mom wore, either.
But what I DO remember is that they were there, happy for us, and supporting us. My ex and I have been divorced for many years, but I have those pictures, because it was a happy time. It had nothing to do with who wore what. My H and I did not have living parents for our wedding. I would have given my left arm for my mom to be there, even if she wore pajamas. I’m not sure why “proper” fabrics and color really matter all that much to anyone. Looking at the photos later on THAT’S what people care about and not who was THERE? That just seems so alien to me.
I agree, that unless the outfit is spectacularly inappropriate, few will remember most outfits. I know clothing styles aren’t high on my list, personally. I think a lot of angst is involved in finding “the perfect” dress for women–most men are able to avoid that and the big Q for them is jacket, suit, or just nice shirt.
Looking nice for a special occasion and being supportive aren’t mutually exclusive things!
I don’t have any particular occasions in my near future to get an outfit for, but I personally think it’s fun to shop for a special occasion and put some thought into what I’m wearing. Especially since nowadays I’m pretty much living in yoga pants and casual tops.