Maybe it’s a good thing we didn’t have a photographer!
My MIL was mad at me because she asked me what my mother was wearing, and I said “linen,” because that’s what my mother told me. As it happens, unbeknownst to me, my mother bought a dress that was a drop-waisted, floral chiffon-like thing, very pretty, very appropriate for a garden setting. My MIL bought a slightly more tailored brown and white linen dress, which was also very nice and appropriate. I guess she spent more on it that she usually would because it was actual linen and not polyester from Penneys (meow). But she was in the habit of looking for insults.
More often than not, looking back at wedding photos - or any photos - 20,30, 40 years ago, fashion choices are bound to look dated. This past year, I’ve put several books together for landmark birthdays for older relatives. It’s been fun looking through old photos. Many of the photos included were from various weddings and other events as they often represent times when my family has gathered together. Looking at some old outfits are a hoot! The hairstyles are even more laughable. I’ve found that the more fashion-conscious/fashionable members of our family are the ones with the funniest photos as the hairstyles and clothing that are so “in” at the moment can look a little ridiculous with time.
I’m not a fashionista and don’t care too much what others wear as long as it’s not something like shorts and a t-shirt to a wedding.
No, of course they can go together @Pizzagirl ! And I think “looking nice” is sometimes in the eye of the beholder. I just can’t imagine it being something I’d care about years later.
I would say my issues with how my mother dressed for the wedding were indicative of much larger issues. There were several people at my wedding who were dressed in a unique way that I was fine with. It was always a control battle with the two of us. I try really hard not to pass that behavior down to my daughters.
@Pizzagirl no, I didn’t say it was YOU. I do know some people IRL who still steam over certain things, such as attire, not being perfect. And some others here still seem ticked out certain outfits.
My mother shopped for just the perfect dress as I was the last to be married. I called MIL to tell her my mother would be wearing the rose color popular in the 80’s. She showed up to the wedding in the same exact color and fabric. I was really PO’d about it. But as I read over these last few posts I wonder if she thought I was telling her to wear that color.
Coincidentally, my M, GM, and MIL wore the same (nice) shade of dusty pink, 3 different styles and fabrics. Everyone thought they coordinated, but they hadn’t. They enjoyed it and we have a pic of all 3 beaming. They really didn’t get along, one way or the other, but they held it together for the day.
I know what the Moms wore because they are in lots of pictures. Too be clear, I wouldn’t have chosen what either of them chose, but I didn’t mind at all. Matching colors was not on my mind at the time at all. Isent my sil a photo of my dress and told her what color flowers I’d be carrying (yellow and orange) and told her to wear whatever she’d like.
That dusty pink was super popular - I wore it as a bridesmaid to my brother’s wedding. We had two piece outfits and the skirt was lovely, I got lots of use out of it. The top looked terrible on my flat chest so I never wore it again. My housemates were ushers and one of them wore a very pretty dusky pink sash with her outfit.
I actually think everyone looks pretty good and not too dated in our photos.
I think folks look good and not very dated in most wedding photos as well (except in the era of poofy hair–that looks a bit dated). I understand wanting to look good/your best, but honestly don’t think obsessing is very constructive. Perhaps I will change my tune when it’s my S or D as bride or groom, but I don’t think so.
My bff/moh chose her own dress, which sort of matched the decor flower color. Before, to confirm it was ok, she told me the number id of an artists pencil and I had to find an engineer in the office who had the pencil set, check it out. He thought I was nuts. Later she sent me a stub of it, which I think I still have.
@sseamom, I don’t think it’s the outfit that ticks people off, but the larger issue it represents. My ex-SIL told my MIL what her mom was wearing and told both moms they could wear anything as long as it wasn’t white, black, or red. MIL purposely chose to wear red – an Alexis Carrington/“Dynasty” red, fitted dress with jacket top (complete with shoulder pads). She didn’t care how my SIL felt, and she wasn’t shy about saying so either. It was her attitude that made my SIL upset; the dress was just a symptom.
I went to a friend’s wedding where the following things happened:
The MOB and MOG wore the same dress, which I gather they had ordered by mail, in different colors. Not planned.
The MOB met for the very first time the hotel lounge singer–yes, really, although it is of course a perfectly honorable profession–for which the FOB left her many years before.
The best man (brother of groom) and MOG first called to say they weren’t coming, then arrived halfway through the wedding, sat in the front rather than just slipping in, and then the brother stepped up to take the place of the bride’s brother, who had been standing in, rather than just sitting down. Luckily, the B&G had been expecting this kind of shenanigans from them and so had NOT given the brother the rings.
The minister gave a really strange homily in which he said “he calls you honey, because you are a bee”–her name is Deborah --and proceeded to tell a story about the groom’s teen years which was nice, but they later told us was about someone else entirely.
The event planner had persuaded her not to have enough seating for everyone in order to make the party “flow,” the old people grabbed all of the seats immediately, and the rest of us ended up sitting on overturned flowerpots. (It was a conservatory setting.)
The MOB certainly had a lot of challenges that day, but she carried it all off with aplomb.
When I was a bridesmaid, I was given a swatch of color, and bought my own dresses. Never had an occasion to wear them again.
For son’s Bar Mitzvah, I admired a friend’s silk suit in silver which was embossed in silver. I got something similar in eggplant (plum), which fit colors of blue and plum. I saw a blue suit in L &T and put it on hold for my mom. She loved it. My close g/f loved my look, and got a mint silk/embossed suit for her son’s B M. She wore it to my sons affair before her own son’s. See, no drama! We shared where to shop, etc.
I’ve posted this before in other threads, but my own mother wore white to my wedding (as did I). I’d asked both mothers to find dresses within a broad spectrum of teal shades.
My mom called me in tears from a phone booth outside a shopping mall (this was 30 years ago) saying that she had looked everywhere but the only possible dress she could find was white. She begged me to say it was OK - so I did. It wasn’t really a big deal to me, but it definitely could have been a mature wedding or renewal gown being floor length with sequins.
After Mom passed away last year, we found the suit she had worn to her own wedding. It was ice green, a really lovely shade, but all the pictures were B&W so we always thought it was white! So she didn’t wear white to her own wedding which might be why she wore white to mine
When my nephew got married, my family’s female members did email each other to ask what color dress we were wearing because we knew we were going to be in the pictures and we didn’t want to clash.
