WOW…just WOW…that she expected a guest to organize and set up a wedding the week OF the wedding! Ok…that takes the cake!
Nice pun , thumper:)
That friend is beyond disorganized.
Young friend is talking about getting married at an event. After, the few dozen guests can get their own food from vendors there.
The guests might figure that if they have to get their own food, then the bride and groom will have to get their own gifts.
My brother and his wife got married at the courthouse on a Monday. Afterward all the guests went to a buffet at a local hotel, but the father of the bride footed the bill.
Well, that’s no big deal. How many of us had our parents foot the bill?
I know … What I meant to say was, they didn’t have an actual reception, but we weren’t expected to pay, unlike the wedding mentioned in #1143.
Lots of people go to a courthouse and then go to lunch or dinner afterwards - seems like the same thing. As long as guests are being treated!
My sister’s wedding was sort of like the disorganized bride above. Not quite as bad. She and BIL had been on a pre wedding honeymoon and came home about 5 days before the wedding to be held at her house. She’d ordered a cake, champaign and rented glasses, but ‘just thought she’d put together some deli trays.’ Her two high school friends arrived and took over. First they cleaned the house, then got meat and cooked it, had her butcher slice it, and we all put together the food. Fruit trays and veggies. Took two days of 5+ people working, bUT my sister was just going to’ make up some trays.’ My sister mostly supervised by drinking wine and pointing at things.
She also only invited the bulk of the people to the reception, not to the church, which was really a small chapel that only held 30 or so. That was fine too. The formal invitation was to the reception, the chapel was by word of mouth , mostly family.
The Walking Dead post-wedding photo shoot sounds original and fun to me. I don’t see how it’s tacky as long as all the people involved (apparently the wedding party in this case) are up for it. I do think it would be tacky to ask your wedding guests to dress as zombies no matter how much you love The Walking Dead!
This thread has me thinking couples may be “damned if they do; damned if they don’t” when it comes to inviting out-of-town family who probably won’t come. If you met Great Aunt Edith (who lives on the other side of the country) one time when you were a toddler, how do you proceed? She could receive an invitation and see it as a greedy gift-grab from a practically unknown family member. Or she could NOT receive an invitation and then be offended that she wasn’t invited when she hears about the wedding later. :-??
This happened to me. My parents sent some courtesy invitations to people they knew couldn’t attend, but did not invite one of my dad’s cousins, with whom he was not close. They were highly offended and my dad, who took everything personally, went to his grave worrying about what the family thought of him over that.
My cousin and his wife who live in another country just emailed me a Save the Date on their daughter’s destination wedding in Australia. The wedding is at the end of November. I am not upset by the 3 months’ notice of a destination wedding because we don’t plan to attend anyways because it is around Thanksgiving holidays, but I am upset that their secretary emailed it.
At first I didn’t recognise the sender’s name and was thinking of deleting it, but I recognised the bride’s name so I opened it. I was offended because it is so impersonal and tacky to use the secretary’s email address and asking us to email our response back to her. They could have set up a special email using the bride and groom’s names and people wouldn’t know who would be keeping tabs on the responses.
Really? I’m surprised that would bother anyone! It’s definitely interesting to read about what bothers other people.
@Bestfriendsgirl, that is awful! Your Dad’s cousin sounds like a truly despicable person and I’m so sorry that it had such a great impact on your Dad. Uggh.
Just remembered something tacky! Niece sent a “save the date” card but we never received an invitation.
My D is maid of honor in a girlfriend’s wedding in September and my D hosted a bachelorette party for the bride at our vacation house last month. D also hosted a shower for the bride earlier this year, which was at our home (bride and most of the bridesmaids have been friends since grade school and all, except the bride, still live in the area). Also, the bride’s parents still live in our town. Both times, the bride sent a thank-you note to me, but not to D or any of the other bridesmaids.
All I did was provide the venue–D and the other bridesmaids took care of the food, drink, and everything else. (One evening, H cooked a nice dinner for everyone at the bachelorette party.) Don’t know if it’s tacky but seems strange that she wouldn’t have sent a thank you note to D or the other bridesmaids. It’s also funny because one of the bride’s shower gifts from her mother was a beautiful box of Crane’s thank-you notes. The notes the bride sent me were via email. Maybe I’m an old fart, but I still like hand-written thank-you notes.
Bro field, when I send checks to weddings of relatives, I’m happy even for some acknowledgment. Of course, I can see the checks are cashed. Once, they drew a happy face on back.
Ya, I think your DD needs to talk to this bride. She put herself out, time and $, and should be thanked.
Maybe your daughter’s friend concluded that the sincere, effusive and heart-felt “thank yous” that she (likely) provided to your daughter in person were adequate to convey her gratitude to your daughter, and that the formal gesture of a written thank you note would not have added much to the sentiment. I could see my daughter feeling that way about a friend, i.e. that the formality of a written thank you note would be out of touch with the informality of the relationship.
The friend’s relationship to you is likely much more formal, and therefore a written thank you note would feel more natural.
I’m someone who likes hand-written thank you notes. But I wouldn’t think to send a hand-written note to my sister, for example, when I stay at her vacation home with her for a couple of days. An effusive text feels much more natural to me. With friends I would send the handwritten note, but I raise the example of my sister to show that even those of us who are etiquette sticklers make judgments based on the formality of the relationship.
Maybe there will be a special gift before the wedding with a handwritten note for her. I agree that a note would be more expected to you…but that would be a note, not an e-mail, which is what you got!