Yes, more than 400 guests. It is a small city of 30,000. Everyone knows everyone, so the guest list could easily get really big. I don’t think anyone cared if they were on the second list. The second line wouldn’t have been as long as it was if it was that important. It was a fun, happy social event.
Piggybacking the earlier poster who mentioned having the relative who quite can’t sing, sing at the ceremony/reception – here’s my anecdote.
When my wife and I got married, one of the best bits of advice we got from the minister and his wife was to not be sentimental about choosing vendors or those to serve in the wedding. We found out the truth about this when we were disappointed by an acquaintance’s floral quote. Anyways – shortly thereafter I was employed as a minister and officiating ceremonies fell into my purview as well.
Friends of mine were getting married and asked me to officiate and for my wife and I to do pre-marriage counselling with them. We shared the advice about choosing vendors and trustworthy people and to not let sentiment get into the way. We shared our anecdote about the florist and they heartily concurred – or so we thought.
The wedding was held in an ornate, historically significant church on a Saturday. Friday night, the rehearsal was going along smoothly. Everything was well orchestrated and everyone was having a good time. Going through the order of the ceremony, it came time for the vocalist to perform. I had noticed that the singer (a cousin to the bride) had just came in – being late due to the rush hour traffic, no doubt. No apologies were needed and I said she came just in time. We hit her music and let her sing (it was some diva-type song: Celine Dion or Mariah or Whitney-- I forget).
It
was
atrocious.
“American Idol” auditions atrocious. I was befuddled. I looked at the groom and he shrugged his shoulders. I attributed it to the vocalist having rushed in and not warmed up or being nervous, whatever. I thought: “They surely heeded our advice about choosing responsible people, right?”
Fast forward to the next morning. EVERYTHING was going fantastic – remember, this was my first ever wedding ceremony. People looked great, there was a huge crowd, the weather was amazing, the church looked amazing, people were laughing and the joy of the moment was palpable for everyone in the sanctuary. Then it came time for the vocalist. She started and sounded exactly like she did the night before! Note for note. Word for word – equally as awful. Being the officiant, I’m the only one square to the audience. I knew I had to keep my facial expression the same. The groomsman to the far left was a buddy of mine. He looked at me and started chuckling – I’m certain to make me break my concentration. I shot him the stink eye and grimaced at him – I didn’t look his direction for the rest of the song. Later, my wife (who was in the pews) said that as the woman sang, almost the entire congregation started squirming in their seats and everyone simply was shooting looks at each other: “what gives?”
It mercifully ended and we went on to have an otherwise flawless ceremony and reception. In later pre-marriage counseling sessions to illustrate our advice, instead of my own staid florist anecdote, I used this couple’s story.
To top it off, about 10 years later, I happened to be going on a trip and the couple were with me in a passenger van. I was chatting with the husband and something about “unreliable” came up. And he said, tilting his head towards his wife"Yeah, like her cousin at our wedding!" Whoa! Ten years later and he was still feeling it!
That being said, they’re still together and a great couple and I love them for the great memory they gave me for my first officiated wedding!
Well, the upside to situations like the cousin with the horrible voice is it makes for a memorable wedding! 
Yeah, you could honestly tell that couple that you think about their wedding every time you counsel a new couple. How many weddings make that kind of an impression?
I sing at weddings. I’ve done so at a number of relatives’ events…as well as friends and strangers.
True story…when my SIL got married, she wanted me to sing a duet with her husband’s brother. I graciously declined because I just don’t like singing with strangers…because…you never know! Turns out the the singer also declined for the same reason. We both sang solos for the wedding…two each. No duet.
After the ceremony, the other singer and I agreed…we actually would have done a duet if we had known about one another. But neither of us was going voice unheard!
I was also asked to sing in a wedding where the ONLY rehearsal with the organist was at the rehearsal the night before. I declined that one too. It was a local wedding, and I was more than willing to give my time for ONE rehearsal before the wedding weekend.
thumper1, your post is very helpful, because now I know that I need to ask about lead time for the rehearsal of a singer with the organist. (Probably this is obvious to many, but I might not have known.)
I know some singers who are willing to wing it the day of the wedding. Or at the night before rehearsal. I’m not one of them.
Plus…I like the bride and groom to hear what I sound like with the accompanist, if possible.
I have done singing at weddings sans rehearsal. In one case organist and I were personal friends, and I had done work with him often. In another, the accompanist was a harpist. I have to say…we were both a bit nervous…so,we got there 1 1/2 hours before the wedding to do a run through…and thankfully it went well.
I can’t sing, except in the car, so no worries I’d be asked.
But T26E4, there’s a Slavic thought that letting the devil have his laugh distracts him and he’ll stay out of the marriage. It’s pulled out for a lot of snafus, some torn lace, the kid who drops the ring, anything.
When I first saw this, I thought they did this for the WEDDING. Thank goodness it was just a photo shoot the next day! Still tacky, though.
^haha. I think it’s great. That sense of fun and adventure will serve the marriage well, I would think. 
Wonder how much extra they had to pay in cleaning fees. I’m glad the groom enjoyed it–too ghoulish for me.
I’m not even halfway through this thread, but I have to share this tacky wedding story because I reminded myself of it in another post and don’t want to forget.
It was the 90’s and I was working as a secretary at a company where there were about 7 or 8 other secretaries. We sometimes got together for lunch or in the break room, but none of us were friends outside of work. One of them, Angie, was getting married and enjoyed talking about her upcoming wedding to a wealthy fiance. Well, fine, if she wants to sit around and drone on about her very big very fancy wedding, that’s understandable. We were all willing to appear somewhat interested. Or at least not obviously asleep.
Then one day most of us secretaries were gathered around discussing something inside the office. One of the secretaries not there at the time was Rose, the only black secretary. Angie glanced around and lowered her voice. She told us all excitedly that we would be invited to the wedding! (It was going to be a huge affair and I’m guessing we were all on the “B” list if numbers had to be filled out for appearances sake). She quickly added, “but please don’t mention it to Rose. If she came she’d be the only black person there and I think it would make her feel really uncomfortable.”
Mind you, this was circa 1992 not 1952. I (for shame) did not say anything and all I heard from the others were sort of non-committal “mm’s” and “ah’s”. I actively avoided Angie after that and did not attend her “white” wedding.
Now, I’ve got “White Wedding” by Billy Idol in my head.
Ugh. What an ugly person!
Yikes. That’s a textbook example of racism, right there. Good for you for boycotting the white wedding. Oh, now I have the song in my head, too…
Don’t know if it’s tacky, or just plain crazy, but my S’s gf recently flew across the country to attend a good friend’s wedding. She arrived on a Wednesday for a Friday wedding. Before she left she mentioned her friend wasn’t too organized, and she was concerned because last she had talked to her, she hadn’t arranged for a wedding cake yet.
When she arrived she found out that her friend still hadn’t gotten around to arranging for a wedding cake. In addition, she asked my S’s gf if she would coordinate the post-wedding reception for 200 people after the ceremony. As in, figure out all the food needed, order the food, pick up the food, get the food to the reception site, etc.
S’s gf worked for her university’s catering office during college, and is very organized and responsible, so fortunately she had the necessary skills to pull this all off. And yes, she found them a wedding cake, too.
Are you saying your DD was flying out to a wedding reception that had NOT been planned…at all?? Really?
We just got invited to a wedding that is being held on a Sunday at 4 pm in another city (1.5 hours away from here) with a brunch Monday morning at 11 am hosted by bride’s parents. Now we did something similar ourselves but we were married on Labor Day weekend so everyone was off on Monday. This is just a “regular” weekend. We are going to go, but just drive back that night. H won’t miss work for this.
Oh my @college_query that is really a wild story…and very good thing for S’s GF being a savior in this situation…
DD1 has attended a few weddings in the city she lives in, so she is probably gathering ideas on what she wants/doesn’t want. And fortunately it is only 100 miles away from us, so the city and its venues will work well. However as MOB, I will make sure the i’s are dotted and the t’s are crossed…
We only go to the day after wedding brunches if they fit in with our travel plans. We went to a wedding in Charleston that was also on a Sunday. We skipped that brunch because our flight was at noon.
We are going to a wedding Saturday night…but it’s a day trip 1 1/2 hours away. We will,skip the next day brunch for that one too.
I think those brunches really are for the folks who are still around…not a required part of the wedding invite!
@thumper1 - yes, she is aware her friend is not organized so it wasn’t out of character, but the extent it was not planned did surprise her when she arrived. At least there was a location. I think it was at a public park, but I believe they had reserved a pavilion.
And to clarify she’s not my DD, she’s my S’s gf. Fortunately (especially for her friend the bride) she is very capable and very kind.