Perhaps one last comment on the no young children at weddings discussion. Didn’t have children in my wedding or at my reception and made very clear well ahead of time that that would be the case despite the tradition in H’s family of having children screaming and crying in the wedding party and running around the reception. It was my choice, was not done with malice and I was very upfront about it. Wouldn’t have minded at all if family members elected not to come because of that. As it turns out, everyone made alternate child care plans and came to the wedding and reception. IIRC, I think all children above age 8 or 9 were invited - an age at which I felt most could be expected to conduct themselves with the maturity/solemnity the occasion required. They all had fun ! Believe me, we have hundreds of subsequent family photos with all the babies and children. I just felt it didn’t need to be my wedding pictures !
@Massmomm said
Yes, my best friend in college and I received a wedding invitation from another college friend with no reply card. His family became like my second family, I spent a lot of time at their home, and we mentioned this to his mom - whose grandfather was once named as one of the wealthiest men in the country. I won’t say who it was, but there’s a city named after him.
I wasn’t in that league, but my mother was from the south and all about proper etiquette. (I was probably the only person in high school who knew who Emily Post was, but kept it to myself knowing it wouldn’t help my popularity. Ha!)
Anyway, my friend’s mother explained that in certain echelons, reply cards are considered tacky and that we needed to hand write a reply and mail it. I had never heard this, but I looked it up and she was right. It had the exact wording to include in a hand written reply card. I thought it was a PITA, but I learned something.
The moral of the story here is . . . . if you get an invite without a reply card, don’t ask anyone where it is. 
Oh I remember an early '80s rainbow wedding. The tuxes were all the same color but the ruffled shirts were each a different color that matched one of the bridesmaids dresses. The multiple rainbow colors were not even pastels. They were brights. But the best/tackiest part was that the candles were bright rainbow colors, like at a child’s birthday party.
D2’s wedding invitations went out recently. They are humorous in nature. On the back, there is a long multiple choice list of funny replies you can pick from such as “I’ve been saving the date since you two met. Also, I’m your mother.” You’d have to know these two comical kids. Anyway, there are no reply cards. The invitations direct guests to their wedding website where there is a place to reply online, as well as other information.
I helped the groom pull a prank on his new bride.
The morning of the ceremony, I pulled the groom and the mother-of-the-bride together.
We arranged for the groom to have a pair of the brides panties up his sleeve as he removed the bride’s garter.
The bride’s mom made sure that they were the same as the bride was wearing.
So…
To all the world, it looked as though the groom removed more than just the garter!
The puzzled/surprised/amazed look on the bride’s face was priceless.
I’m amazed that we pulled it off.
Count your blessings. The bride & groom could have been members of the Young Democrat club at college. Their groomsmen could have dropped their pants to show off their matching red, white and blue Democratic asses.
96
In my opinion, Massmom just explained the difference between tacky and manners. Tacky is always going to be in the eye of the beholder. I like to think basic good manners transcend culture, but I’m not positive that is true.
I went to a wedding just last night. This wasn’t tacky at all, but is sweet. However, it just didn’t come off very well.
The mother and father both walked the bride down the aisle. The aisle was just not wide enough to accommodate all 3 comfortably, and the Mom had to finally pull back a little as she was stepping on the dress.
The brides dress was gorgeous, but you couldn’t really see it in its full glory as it was crushed from both sides. It was just awkward. I understand the symbolism of both walking their child down the aisle, but I guess after seeing it for the first time, I wasn’t that impressed with the entrance.
My boss back in the '80s went to a lovely outdoor wedding, near a babbling stream etc. Right as the vows were beginning two ducks strolled down the aisle and began loudly copulating right at the feet of bride and groom! This was before everyone had video, but a few days later she brought her developed photos to show us!
My friend’s son went to a wedding where the bridesmaid who had caught the bouquet had to sit in a chair in the middle of the reception and have the groomsman who caught the garter place it around her leg with his teeth. This particular bridesmaid was, unfortunately, a very unattractive girl (I’ll leave it to your imagination). When it came time for the groomsman to come up to the bridesmaid he refused to do it and so did all of the other groomsmen. This poor girl sat in the middle of the reception room horribly embarrassed but kept a smile of her face. My friend’s son finally came to the poor girl’s rescue with the garter. I thought that this was the worst thing that anyone could have come up with.
Re #101, I remember that Emily Post reply:
Miss FirstName-LastName (or Mr and Mrs HusbandFirstName-HusbandLastName) accept with pleasure the kind invitation of etc., etc, etc.
We received some of those handwritten replies even though I had enclosed reply cards for the convenience of my guests. I always wondered if those replying according to E. Post were telling me I was tacky for including the reply cards with the invitations. Ours was an early '80s wedding.
We got an invitation a couple years ago with the words “The couple are registered at Target”. For all you grammarians, is that proper English? I found it tacky, but the couple was from a different area of the country with wedding held there, so perhaps it’s a regional thing. In my area, the register info would be passed along by word of mouth.
I’ve never been to a pastel wedding…but we have friends who were invited to something…the guests were told what to wear. All women were asked to wear pastel dresses and hats…and rhe men were asked to wear pastel ties.
I thought it was odd that the invitation would come with a specific dress code!
I went to a wedding (H’s administrative assistant) in winter where the bride and groom asked people to dress in resort-themed clothing and sandals. They wanted to do a destination wedding, but for a variety of reasons decided against it. So they decided to turn the facility (rental space at a botanic garden) into a resort–palm trees, sand on the floors, exotic flowering plants, tiki bar, and summer-like cocktails. They provided flip-flops for people without sandals. There was a two-hour cocktail party before the ceremony. It was a really fun wedding. Food was basically small plates.
DH and I went to a wedding last night. The bride was beautiful, the bride’s parents gracious, and the cocktail hour delightful. But when did it become de rigeur to play music so loudly during the reception that you can’t hear the person next to you at your table?
Oh wait – I think I already mentioned that up-thread. It is my main complaint about weddings these days. Maybe I’m just getting too damn old.
@VeryHappy, I don’t think you are jydt getting old! I am never able to stay through wedding receptions with loud music; it sets off migraines.
That’s my pet peeve about weddings too! And something I will keep in mind at my dd’s wedding next year!
Some of these stories really need a Yikes! button.
A girl who used to dance at the same studio as D had a ballet theme wedding. She came down the aisle on pointe.
We went to the wedding of the daughter of our next door neighbors. The invitation stated 5:00 pm for the ceremony. We left with just enough time to make it, parked the car, and rushed inside so we wouldn’t make a spectacle of ourselves for arriving so close to starting time. When we walked in, there was nobody there. We panicked and thought they moved the location. We walked around the resort hotel looking for someone who could help us and ran into a relative of the bride. Oh, the wedding wasn’t going to start until 6:00! And she said everybody was told the night before that the time was changed! Except we never got the message!
We were really annoyed. It didn’t help matters that we didn’t like the groom, and the mother and father of the bride didn’t like him either.
D got engaged just last night! I’m bookmarking this thread :).
H and I had a no-kids wedding. His side of the family is large (7 sibs) and many had small children at the time. It could easily have become a kindergarten event.
Fast forward to now…If we were to invite all of H’s family - including the children of the nieces and nephews who have reproduced, there would be around 50 people. Most of which D has little if any close relation. So…discussions have started as to how to handle the situation.
D was flower girl at my sisters wedding. She was 5 at the time. We had my in-laws pick her up after the ceremony. I couldn’t imagine a 5 year old being anything but crabby after 2.5 hours of prep, wedding and pictures…followed by a trip to the reception…and then another 5 hours of partying.
One of my SIL’s has a picture of her in a brides maids dress. The wedding was on the 4th of July. They all looked like the statue of liberty!
Anything involving a suggestion of monetary gifts is tacky.
SYTTD isn’t doing anyone any favors by showing all those off the shoulder dresses. They really only look good on a certain body type…