Take a crack of this essay that I've polished over and over again?...

<p>I would prefer parents to take a crack at this, so please, no high school or college students. This is my first time asking for advice, so these revisions and the essay itself haven't been seen by anyone (not even my parents), but me. It's won me a scholarship, but it's not the type of essay that I believe should be sent to colleges, so I really need an anonymous adult to help me out here.</p>

<p>Thanks for all the support and information CC has offered, and I'm hoping that I can get some help?</p>