Tattoos- your thoughts on them

Parent Cafe
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<p>“I think the time some of my friends wore a powder-blue tuxedo”</p>

<p>Perfect example. Who cares? Why do styles, trends, colors, etc. matter? I don’t get it. 300 years ago purple was the color of royalty. Now, it has a totally different connotation. Both formal and informal clothing were completely different even 20 years ago. And no, it’s not just about looking ‘sharp’ or “put together”, because if someone is very put together but wears something that’s not worn today, that would be frowned on as well. It’s completely meaningless and superficial.</p>

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<p>"I have lots of close friends with tattoos. I think their tattoos are tacky, just like I think the time some of my friends wore a powder-blue tuxedo or voted for ***** was a moment of total stupidity. But it’s not like I’ve never done anything incredibly stupid in my life. "</p>

<p>Silly example, but true. I normally wear either clear or light beige / nude nail polish. This weekend, I decided to go wild (by my standards) and am now sporting light blue polish on my fingers and toes. I imagine that some people will look at it and not like it, the same way I feel about visible tattoos. Oh well on both counts. From a “judgment” standpoint, it probably wouldn’t be wise for me to wear this light blue polish in front of most of my clients. As it turns out, I think I <em>am</em> going to wear it in front of one particular client because I’m just in that kind of mood, but I know it’s sending a different signal than if I were just to wear something not as obtrusive.</p>

203

<p>pizzagirl- I wear different colored nail polish all the time! Right now I have turquoise on 8 fingers and bright pink on two. But that’s me… I actually get a lot of compliments on it from clients. But I also have tattoos! :slight_smile: </p>

204

<p>I think some people can carry things off better / differently than others, too. I don’t think I have the personality / physical appearance to carry some things off that others do!</p>

<p>When we toured Bryn Mawr, our tour guide - a lovely young lady - had a bright purple streak down her dark brown hair. I normally don’t like that kind of thing, but on her it worked. It would have looked stupid on me or my daughter, though!</p>

205

<p>Actually light blue nail polish is pretty mainstream these days - my D and her friends wear it all the time on their toes. Also pale green and yellow. I think it looks great with the right outfit. The one trend I could never wrap my brain around was the black nail polish. I am a “ballet slippers” girl myself.</p>

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Well, sure they do. Everything you do defines you, more or less. And tattoos–especially if they are so meaningful–define you more than some other things, since they are permanent. This thread asks us what we think about tattoos, and a number of us have said that we really don’t like them. If we meet you in a business or casual situation, we’re not going to recoil in revulsion at your tattoo. But we’re going to have an opinion on it, just as we’ll have an opinion on your clothes, your hair, your accent, your teeth, and anything else you have. How much difference will it make in how we treat you? Most of the time, none. Occasionally, though, somebody who really doesn’t like tattoos may not hire you if you have an uncovered tattoo.</p>

207

<p>Black nail polish makes my fingers look dead. I go with deep, deep browns and purples in the winter time. </p>

<p>I have pretty much every color, finish, and texture under the rainbow of nail polish. Never thought I’d be judged on my pick of the week…or perhaps I never cared. ;:wink: </p>

<p>But I will say when I have to go to conventions or I have engineering related work…I keep the nail polish to clear or light pinks and blushes. </p>

208

<p>Just a comment on judging–personally, I judge everything. I do try not to judge a person’s character by their appearance. I do feel free, however, to judge whether a person’s taste matches what I conceive to be good taste, based on their appearance. Of course, when I see somebody wearing a tragic outfit, I can think, “Well, she may not dress like that all the time.”</p>

209

<p>“Niquill- The point is that when people CHOOSE to do something regarding their physical appearance- even if it is coloring their hair pink, getting a piercing, not maintaining a healthy weight etc- it does say something about their character.”</p>

<p>I guess it depends on the definition of character. To me, character is what someone does, how they interact with other people, are they ethical and so forth. In that light, I don’t know what having a nose ring, having pink hair, having a tattoo, says about character. Likewise, when it comes to weight, being overweight is not necessarily a character defect, the idea that people are overweight because of a character flaw is very much rooted in Puritan beliefs (sometimes people are overweight because they are working multiple jobs to support their family, or are poor and eat the cheapest foods, which tend to be unhealthy)…but does that mean they lack character?</p>

<p>I think the way we express ourselves does define how we see ourselves, and someone with pink hair might be expressing their individuality, or may be making a statement, but it has little to do with their character, same with tattoos and such. Tell me, does that mean that Don Draper, who in many ways as a character would be considered the hallmark of conformity, wears a suit, is working a high level job, considered a ‘success’, who would never think of wearing an earring or getting a tattoo, has good character? </p>

<p>There is a difference between someone’s character and how they present themselves, one is about who they are as a person, the other is about how they express themselves as a person, and the two can be related, but often aren’t. </p>

210

<p>Everyone judges. It’s silly to think we don’t. I’m not even sure judging is wrong although it doesn’t sound very nice, does it? Still, we all send a message with how we look and much of it is intentional. Or not caring, which is also a choice and sends a message. So yeah. And a small or hidden tattoo is much different from sleeves, necks, and a body covered with of ink which is much more limiting. It just is.</p>

211

<p>Judging is nothing to be ashamed of. Looks like I mindlessly threw out the damning “j” word. Let me correct my statement before someone challenges me of my judgmentalness.</p>

<p>I have pretty much every color, finish, and texture under the rainbow of nail polish. Never thought I’d be negatively viewed on my pick of the week…or perhaps I never cared.</p>

212

<p>Well, I like black which seems to be on the bad list. Right now I’m wearing a color changing pink which darkens in the cold. But it’s 90 degrees so I’m not sure how often that will be. It’s almost white and I’m stuck with it for 2 weeks. Cest la vie. </p>

213

<p>Yes, we do judge. Nail Polish is something that can be wiped away with a few strokes of acetone. I have a friend who is a principal, she is always very cognizant of what she wears, down to her nail polish. She realizes that she is being judged by her superiors, her colleagues, the teachers and other staff…and she also realizes that the students are always paying attention. She wants to set a good example. She has been an educator for twenty years and only wears the brighter colors during the summer months. </p>

214

<p>So much depends on context. I had a meeting at my child’s middle school today with a teacher who has a number of visible tats as well as a nose ring. They fit with her personal and teaching styles. I don’t think I’d feel the same if the headmistress went out and got a bunch of ink.</p>

215

<p>Tom Paine said something of relevance, about the words tolerance and intolerance, and he pointed out that intolerance is when we don’t like something someone does, judge them, then feel like we have the right to act on it. Tolerance is we don’t like something, but feel like we don’t have the right to tell someone else how to live. He pointed out they both are equally bad, in the sense that both of them are based in the idea that we have the right to judge other people in the first place…</p>

<p>And yes, we all do judge, it is a human trait. Part of the reason for discussions like this IMO is simply to get people to think about their biases, think about where and why they judge people, and ask themselves if maybe the judgement isn’t warranted. A parent who abuses their child getting judged is not something most people would argue about, but when it comes to judging others for the way they look, the old line about judge not lest ye be judged comes to mind:)</p>

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<p>I got to thinking about a person imterviewing for a job in our ad agency. The person with a tattoo should keep his/ her sleeves rolled down when talking to the account service director and sleeved rolled up when talking to the creative director ! Just can’t win.</p>

217

<p>I honestly don’t see why someone would (a) judge me based on my having tattoos and then (b) think that this was a GOOD thing to do. Does my having tattoos harm you in any way? Does it mean that I am incapable of being intelligent, or polite, or professional?</p>

<p>I am not concerned about how my tattoos look when I get older. When my skin is paper-thin, liver-spotted, and wrinkled, the fact that my tattoos are hard to read will be the least of my concerns. I will have enjoyed them for a long time by that point, and will not regret that people can no longer tell what they are.</p>

<p>I am not concerned that I will someday regret the content of my tattoos, because my tattoos were not selected solely for aesthetics. They represent my family, my profession, friends who are no longer with me, and there is no point where I will be ashamed of those or having marked them on my skin. And if at this point I did get a tattoo for aesthetic purposes, well, it would hardly be a big risk.</p>

<p>I am not concerned that they will impede my career. I have placed my tattoos so that they are covered under business wear, but that is just for customers - my employer knows about them and has no problem with them. And if they DID have a problem with them, then I would find another employer and make THEM money.</p>

<p>I am not concerned that people will think less of me because I have tattoos. I am an educated professional, married, with good kids, good friends, and a good life. If someone sees all that and thinks “Whoa, he has tattoos, he has character flaws!” then that is a person whose opinion I do not care about.</p>

<p>I have definitely seen people with tattoos they regret, but I have yet to see ANY decision that the average person can make without some percentage regretting their choice. Some people regret getting a tattoo, or getting married, or taking a given job, or moving, or eating sushi, or joining the military, or… anything. The fact that some regret does not mean that everyone does, and if you go your whole life without regretting getting a tattoo, why would it have ever been a wrong decision?</p>

<p>Now, if you do not like the aesthetic of tattoos, or do not think they are worth the price, or cannot stand the idea of the pain, or cannot think of anything you would want to immortalize like that, then that is 100% fine! Don’t get one! I don’t personally like the aesthetic of ear gauges and would never do it… but I do not think that doing so is a character flaw, I simply go my life without getting gauges! I don’t judge people based on their decisions unless those decisions hurt people, and I have yet to see someone get hurt by someone else getting a tattoo. On the other hand, I would think poorly of someone who saw a good person and then denied them opportunities just because they have a tattoo, or a piercing, or a cheap suit.</p>

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<p>musicprnt- You really missed my point. Or- you and I don’t define “character” the same way. You seem to define “character” as “GOOD character”. I believe choices such as tattoos, colored hair, fake boobies etc say something about “character”. It doesn’t necessarily say something BAD about that character. That’s up to the beholder to decide. I certainly think my willingness to ink myself with something meaningful to me says something about my character- perhaps it is simply that doing that is more important to me than what others might think or what might be a career consequence. I greatly value fitness and health, and I will make a judgment about character if someone is obese and does not take care of his or her health. Might they be a wonderful, kind person? Of course! I have obese friends who I adore, but, frankly, I would never hire them. </p>

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<p>You are not concerned. You do not care for the opinion of people … but you reserve the right to think poorly of them when such people might act on their … negative opinions? </p>

<p>Okidoki!</p>

220

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Yes! </p>

<p>Having a tattoo does not hurt anyone else, but the decision to hurt someone else by definition does. Note that this is different than simply having a negative opinion - if I don’t like your shoes, that is quite different than the decision to start a fight with you or belittle you to others or refuse to serve you because I don’t like your shoes. </p>

<p>If someone doesn’t like my tattoos or thinks less of me because I have tattoos then that is simply (as I said) a reason for me to not care about what that person thinks. But if they take that opinion and turn it into action against me, then there is a problem. I don’t see any contradiction here.</p>