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<p>If you aren’t a dependent, there should be no question about what you need to do! Seriously…</p>
<p>My dad’s accountant seems to think it’s THREE months of being a full-time student, but everything I am reading says five-- do we all agree it’s five months? I was in school from January to April. The only place where I think there will be a question is if my dad’s accountant maintains that I am a dependent, and my dad believes him, even though I may not think so once I consult my own accountant-- then we’re at a stalemate, and while I don’t want to budge I really don’t want my parents to refuse to do anything for me ever again… I do still need them.</p>
<p>It is a really tough place to be in when your parents morals conflict with your own and they are demanding you fall in line. I am doing everything I can to find out the truth about my dependent status and convince my parents of it as well… I suspect my parents genuinely do think I am a dependent, but they also think they paid for my college, soooooo…</p>
<p>I plan to keep the lines of communication open and to see if I can get my own professional opinion today before I talk to dad’s accountant myself. We’ll see what happens. Best case scenario, I think, is that either I AM a dependent and this is all a moot point, or I’m not and I convince my dad of it and he backs off. We’ll see.</p>
<p>I have been through this scenario twice with my kids, and although I am not a CPA, I am a tax preparer. According to the IRS documents, the time period to be classified as a full time student is 5 months. The support area for you could be considered a “gray area” but the dependent area is pretty much black and white because you were not a full time student for 5 months. I think you did your filing status correctly.</p>
<p>[A</a> ?Qualifying Child?](<a href=“http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=133298,00.html]A”>http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=133298,00.html)</p>
<p>I think it’s both the support tissue and the time in school issue though. even if the rule was three months (which it doesn’t seem to be), it sounds to me like your parents didn’t support you enough over the course of the year for you to be considered their dependent. So you likely don’t match at least two of the requirements. It’s a tough situation, though, since it is your parents. Good luck.</p>
<p>Honey, it’s not us- it’s what we read in the IRS regs and AICPA info. Offer to email everyone the IRS link quoted in this thread. </p>
<p>No way an accountant can operate legally without knowing the correct rules and guidlines. He may be saying this to see if he can “convince” you. </p>
<p>Bottom line: the IRS docs say 5 months.</p>
<p>It’s 5 months. No way an actual accountant does not know that. </p>
<p>Is the accountant telling you this, or is your dad saying that is what the accountant says. Maybe your dad misunderstood.</p>
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<p>Emaheevul07 … just sending sympathy, not tax advice. I know the tough place you are in. And I am 60, Mom is 82 and I still am not on the same side of the line with her. I haven’t been since college. I hate seeing her “shades of gray” and really hate that we are tied in business together at all.
Just don’t forget you are a person, too. And you have as much right to your own thoughts as they do. You can agree to disagree in a gentle way and hopefully they will accept it after a while.
And I would let them know that they didn’t pay for your college. How can they make good decisions without all the data?</p>
<p>^ Agree. More of us have gone through this actual or perceived threat than you realize. Withdrawal of affections, support or financial help. One challenge is to learn where you must draw lines, for your own peace of mind and your affairs. Or, your own sense that you did things as legitimately as you could determine and are uncomfortable crossing a line simply because it better suits the other guy. Especially when it’s not legit. It’s never easy to go through. Sorry.</p>
<p>There’s obviously a lot more going on here than the ability to read an IRS Reg. Can we agree that the Reg, read strictly, says the OP is independent? Can we agree that the Reg is a bit arbitrary? (Question: What was the OP doing in April 2011? Answer: She was a full-time student finishing her college degree. Conclusion: The OP was NOT a student for 2011. Got it … I guess.) </p>
<p>I’m sure the Dad and his accountant have reasons for their request. And I’m sure the OP has concerns unrelated to the Dad’s request. I think it’s time for a bit of give and take. JMHO of course.</p>
<p>“One challenge is to learn where you must draw lines, for your own peace of mind and your affairs.”</p>
<p>Hopefully, a person is wise enough to discern whether this “drawing of lines” clears the way to a better future … rather than ruptures an important relationship.</p>
<p>NewHope: this isn’t a clear-cut “let’s be nice.” Under many circumstances, we would tell someone that the easiest path is simply to do what it takes to “get along.” IMO, this is different. “I really don’t want my parents to refuse to do anything for me ever again” reflects the pressure OP is under.</p>
<p>I never like the idea of parents and children being estranged. On the other hand, I don’t think it is right for a parent to continually hold the threat of estrangement over their child’s head as a way to coerce the child into doing things his way in order to benefit himself financially even at high cost to the child. </p>
<p>As far as the tax rule being arbitrary, aren’t they all? Aren’t a lot of laws in general arbitrary (speed limits, drinking ages come to mind). I don’t think we get to choose which tax laws (or laws in general) we do or do not follow based on whether we think they are arbitrary.</p>
<p>In this situation the simplest and most reasonable thing seems for the OP to follow the letter of the law. It is then a case that she is not willing to break the law rather than a case of give and take (and the giving side of the relationship seems to be a very one sided). If she is independent for tax purposes, then she is independent for tax purposes. Should she really be coerced into amending a correctly filed tax return by threats of parental estrangement? That is just wrong in my opinion.</p>
<p>There is a lot more going on here than meets the eye… I’ve tried to be as transparent as possible, but as people familiar with my posts know my family situation is a bit complicated, it’s hard to explain all the nuances at play in our relationship without writing a book. I know for a fact my parents have taken advantage of other “gray” areas in their taxes, and they’ve also refused to transfer the title to the car they gave to me so that I can insure it myself and change my address to reflect my move, so that they can keep my sister rated as an occasional driver on the car and keep their insurance from going up-- this is one of the reasons why buying another car is priority #1 so I can get out from under this and stop lying about where I live every time I have to fill out a form. When I said I wanted to buy my own insurance my parents said they’d take the car back and leave me no way to get to work. In hindsight, I am sure they only let me take the car in the first place to discourage me from buying another one immediately for precisely this reason-- that’s a page straight out of their regular playbook. These kinds of things may not be a big deal to some people but they do not instill warm fuzzies in me when issues such as the tax one come up. They are not above doing whatever they can to squeeze out a few extra bucks if they think they’ll get away with it. I, on the other hand, don’t operate that way. I love my parents dearly but sometimes they make it difficult to respect or trust them. I want to do right by everybody but I also don’t want to break the rules.</p>
<p>My dad says the accountant said it was 3 months, he was adamant about it. I don’t see how the accountant could think that, because I read the IRS website myself and it plainly says 5. Some of my other adult friends are acting like I’m a moron and saying it’s a technicality and that the IRS would consider me a dependent. I left a message with my cousin, a CPA, to see if he can give me some advice… he’s very busy this time of year but hopefully he’ll get back to me after work today or tomorrow. I am pretty sure that I am not a dependent (a month short of being considered a student, not to mention the support issue) but I need a professional to tell me that so I have some ground to stand on when I discuss this again with my parents, since they are using their “professional” against me.</p>
<p>^ LF and SCM - All I’m saying is, if the OP is going to “take a stand” let it be a stand that clears the way to a brighter future. IMHO, this situation doesn’t qualify … for many reasons. Yes, the OP is perfectly entitled to submit her own tax return. And yes, the Dad is perfectly entitled to conclude that if the OP demands independence, that that’s what he’ll provide. Neither “perfect entitlement” is conducive to a happy and productive future relationship. Over what exactly? A few hundred dollars? On a one-time basis? Resting on an IRS Reg that says “OP is one school day short of qualifying as a student for the year?”</p>
<p>Why don’t you call the IRS hot line and ask them to clarify the rule (you don’t have to explain your particular situation).</p>
<p>If they say it is 5 months (which I am 99.99999% sure they will), and your Dad keeps insisting that the accountant says it is three, tell him you are confused by the conflicting information and that you need the accountant to confirm it in writing so that you have the letter in case of audit.</p>
<p>I don’t envy your situation. It is awful. But just remember, they can not force you to amend your return and the accountant can not do it without your say so. Maybe standing up for yourself when you have the law on your side would be a good time to show your dad you are now an adult who can not be bullied any more. Otherwise it seems you will spend the rest of your life repeating variations of the same situation.</p>
<p>Newhope - when i read your posts, I feel like we are reading totally different threads. I don’t see the parent as supplying independence by threatening estrangement. I don’t think we can agree on this situation as we obviously have quite different viewpoints both about following tax laws and about parent/child relationships. </p>
<p>As far as taxes are concerned, I put a lot of time, effort, and research into paying as little taxes as I can - but always within the law. It is the difference between tax avoidance which is legal (reducing your taxes but following the law) and tax evasion which is illegal (not following the tax laws). I don’t just ignore tax laws because I think they are arbitrary. They are what they are. I may not always like them or agree with them, but I follow them (yes, I am a rule follower - always have been).</p>
<p>And I don’t believe in coercing my adult kids to do things my way by holding the threat of estrangement over their heads. To me that has nothing to do with independence. Though FWIW, my kids are very independent and would tell me to take a flying leap if I pulled this sort of thing. But they know we love them and would never want to be estranged from them (not that we would ever hold the threat of estrangement over their heads).</p>
<p>I spoke to my cousin and he told me that we are interpreting the tax law correctly. He said that though submitting an amendment would increase the likelyhood of an audit, his off-record opinion is that the IRS have bigger fish to fry and this in all likelyhood wouldn’t be a problem, which I suspected,… but he also said he understands why I don’t want to do it. So it sounds like everybody is on the same page. I am going to call my parents when I get off work and try to talk this out, and if a resolution isn’t forthcoming I’ll ask to speak to the accountant myself and see if we can get this worked out. I don’t think I am going to give my parents the return, but I feel rotten about it even if it is the right thing to do.</p>
<p>clears the way to a brighter future</p>
<p>That’s, ideally.
Sometimes, the cycle of trying to appease the other is endless- and never fruitful. </p>
<p>She’s not one day short of five months. She graduated in April, had four months of fulltime.</p>
<p>SCM - We’re reading the same thread. I even think we see the same main issue … helping the OP become independent. We may differ in the experiences we apply to this situation. And that’s fine. Divergent opinions can be helpful to those who are still finding their own way in the world.</p>
<p>Em, sorry you are going through this. You tried to do the right thing and still are. I don’t know if it will help to hear that many adults still have wacky push-pull relationships with parents. More than you’d guess.<br>
You sound like great young adult. You’re trying as best as possible to handle your responsibilities. Try to remember that. Good luck.</p>