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<p>I think you are making the right decision to not give them the return. You should not feel rotten about it (easy for me to say). I would suggest telling your parents you have spoken to a CPA yourself and have been told that you can not be legitimately claimed as a dependent. Keep it short and simple and don’t get dragged into an argument about it. </p>
<p>Good luck. This is tough I know.</p>
<p>Is there any harm in giving your dad the tax return, while at the same time telling him that you are skeptical that his accountant can make it work to legally claim you as a dependant? Am I correct that no amendment could be made without your signature? If so, giving him the return and letting his accountant have a go at it might convince them that you are correct.</p>
<p>You know, my dad hasn’t mentioned how he plans to handle the actual submission of the amendment. He told me that he and the accountant would file it on my behalf if I sent the return and that’d be all I have to do, but that doesn’t seem right, does it? I’ve moved to another city and had no plans to visit any time soon and they haven’t mentioned needing me to come home to sign anything. I would like to think they intended for me to sign off on whatever necessary documents there are but am surprised this hasn’t been mentioned.</p>
<p>My dad’s accountant is supposedly already insisting that I am a dependent, and there shouldn’t be anything on my return that would contribute to that debate, so I suspect if I gave it to him they’d go right ahead and file something, maybe or maybe not ask me for my signature on it, and it’d be a done deal. It doesn’t sound as if the accountant cares whether my dependency status is legit. He knows I graduated in April unless my dad is lying about what he said, clearly he should know the rule is 5 months, and he’s pushing this anyway (again, supposedly.) Best as I can figure, my dad is, intentionally or unintentionally, distorting what the accountant said or distorting reality for the accountant, or the accountant thinks since an audit isn’t likely it’s worth utlizing the gray area.</p>
<p>I did not anticipate this becoming such a complicated thread. o.O</p>
<p>Caution; some parents (like me) get in the habit of signing things for their kids and are slow to recognize that at some point (is it age 18 or age 21?) it is no longer appropriate to do so. I still do it, but so far never without my sons’ knowledge and prior approval (not that that makes it technically ok)</p>
<p>^ Must be a Northeastern thing. I do the same for my kids. On the other hand … when they ask me for their PIN I don’t respond “When I receive that signed release absolving me of any liability, I’ll forward you the PIN.” Trust is a good thing mostly. Plus, I’d never put the kids in a position to regret the faux “authentic signatures.”</p>
<p>“George, who chopped down the cherry tree?”</p>
<p>“I cannot tell a lie. It was the dog. Truly amazing how he wielded that ax between his paws. We really ought to think about forming a pet circus and touring.”</p>
<p>Well, I can think of many fibs you could tell them, re: why you can’t give them the documents. </p>
<p>You don’t need an amendment if you are independent- know we’ve all agreed on this before, but it needs restating. No problem with your return, no amendment, no one signing for you.</p>
<p>I think you are this close to realizing who will benefit from the shenanigans and that rules will be bent. </p>
<p>The principle still holds: ignorance of the law is no excuse. Can you imagine the mess if your (bogus) re-filing is snagged by the IRS? (No problem if it isn’t. The issue is if it is.)</p>
<p>Swimcatsmom: won’t re-filing as his dependent mean she loses her own personal expemption on her form? The calcs previoously led her to a $1200 overpay/refund. Without her own $3400 exemption, could she now be faced with a $2200 bill plus penalties and late fees?</p>
<p>I think that’s something my dad probably normally wouldn’t do (ETA: signing for me), but now that he’s in such a rush to get this done and I am being “difficult,” that’s not a chance I’d take. I think I said this earlier in the thread… my dad would never KNOWINGLY do anything that would be damaging to me (or, in this case, offensive,) but he can be obtuse about these kinds of things. I’ve mentioned in the past that I suspect he is on the autism spectrum. If, in his mind, he can see no good reason for me to be upset, he will do whatever he wants and act as if I am being ridiculous if I get upset. He has done completely atrocious things in the past and thrown his hands up when people got upset about it because he was unable to put himself in their shoes. So he’s not getting the return unless I intend for him to submit the amendment. Which I don’t. I am calling him tonight to tell him this and hoping to god there aren’t explosions.</p>
<p>Emaheevul07 - it sounds like your dad’s accountant may be misinformed about the facts, or doesn’t care about them. Hard to tell which. Bottom line, you are an adult and he can not file an amendment without your say so. I suspect he might take you giving them your return as permission to do so. So don’t. Tell your dad that if his accountant is so insistent that you are a dependent, to have the accountant write a letter to you explaining why, and that you will take the letter to your own tax accountant and discuss it with him. If they are both on the up and up, they should have no problem with that. (well I wouldn’t either as a parent or an accountant in such a situation if I truly believed I was in the right).</p>
<p>^^This is where the spectrum can run into deep doodoo. He does what makes sense to him and not to, say, the IRS-?</p>
<p>Car, college loans, tax refunds and tax bills = one big headache for you. Sometimes, we have to provide our parents with the common sense they lack. To protect ourselves.</p>
<p>I’ve held off saying this but some pop psychologists refer to “enabling.” Is your desire to stay close allowing him to run roughshod over your needs, principles- and your realities? You dont have to be harsh, but you need to protect your own interests.</p>
<p>That’s a good idea, swimcatsmom. My cousin said I could come to him if I had any more questions and he was very willing to take time to talk with me, so I am sure he’d be willing to look over anything I get from the other accountant… that could help settle this if it comes to that. I am absolutely not going to give them the return. I don’t want anything with my signature on it suggesting I authorized this whole thing, I’m just not comfortable with it and it isn’t going to happen.</p>
<p>My parents are going to fall out of their chairs when I tell them I consulted my own CPA. I wonder if they’ll believe me!</p>
<p>ETA: If I did this, lookingforward, I think it would be enabling. Until I moved in with my boyfriend in January, I deeply needed their rent free room and really had no choice but to kowtow to their ridiculousness. Now that I am on my own, I am getting to set boundaries I didn’t get to before, and this is really the first big test I’ve confronted.</p>
<p>The fact of the matter is, though, that the only part of my financial situation that has changed since I so deeply needed that rent free room is the introduction of my boyfriend into the equation. I had hoped to avoid burning any bridges until he isn’t quite so important. I’d like to not be homeless, being able to provide ALMOST all of your own support isn’t enough. That’s part of why I was so worried about the risk of estrangement when I started the thread, of course in addition to the emotional ramifications. I am doing the best I can but I am still struggling to keep my feet under me financially.</p>
<p>Yes, she would lose the personal exemption and also any tax credits from education tax credits. So would probably receive a rather large tax bill. I imagine there would be some interest tacked on. Possibly penalties.</p>
<p>I know one year the IRS made an error on my daughters return and sent her a refund check for nearly $3000 (instead of the $11 she was due), then tried to charge her interest and penalties as if she had underpaid her taxes by $3000. (And that was completely their mistake - we don’t know to this day where they got their figures from as the refund was higher than her income - and she did not cash the check because she knew it was an error). It took 6 very stressful months to sort out. The point being, if they charge interest and penalties on an “underpayment” that never was, caused by their error, plus a check that was never cashed, I am sure they will do so in this situation. Oh, and FWIW, this all occurred after she file an amendment, so I am quite leary of amendments :rolleyes:.</p>
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Then don’t get upset (or at least don’t let him see you are upset). Just tell him your opinion and that you would like that letter from his accountant to show to your accountant. If he argues or gets mad, just calmly say uhu uhu, I hear what you are saying, etc etc - and end up by saying “well, just have your accountant send me the letter and i can take it to mine and figure out what to do”.</p>
<p>Your Dad may have got a bigger surprise than he expected when he saw his taxes without you as a dependent. I am expecting one next year when my daughter is no longer our dependent. But you know, that is my problem, not hers. (though I tend to run “what if” scenarios on my taxes all year so don’t ever get too big a surprise). </p>
<p>The other thing to consider - your Dad’s accountant is looking out for your Dad’s best interest, not yours.</p>
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<p>Never forget this.</p>
<p>Great idea to have his accountant put down in writing his reasoning as to why you are still a dependent for 2011 tax year. Then you’ll be able to see if he knows of some super-secret exemption, because it sure looks like on the face of things that you don’t qualify as a dependent.</p>
<p>Your dad will probably have filed an extension, so not to worry about the time crunch.</p>
<p>It sounds like there may have been some kind of an issue with the accountant. I emailed my mom the tax regulations this morning, and she said she forwarded it to my dad, and he sent it to the accountant to ask what the deal is. It sounds like some sort of assistant or something may have told my dad I was still a dependent. My mom said that she suspects that if they’d given the actual CPA my return, he would have called them back and “asked what they are smoking.” Sooooo… it sounds like we might all be on the same page now, I won’t be sure until they hear back from their accountant. </p>
<p>That is all very strange. It sounds like my dad has some weirdos doing his taxes, but I THINK it’s going to be okay. I don’t think my dad would have forwarded my email to the accountant if he wasn’t having some doubts.</p>
<p>When I first talked to my dad about this I mentioned something about this guy being HIS accountant, not mine, getting at the fact that he was looking out for my dad’s best interest, and my dad got really angry and said he’s “the family accountant.” I am glad I didn’t buy that.</p>
<p>That sounds like possibly maybe great news :D. I will be keeping my fingers crossed that it all works out so simply in the end.</p>
<p>I think CPAs often hire temp staff during the bust tax season to do the basic work on returns (in fact, until my husband got sick, I was planning to do just that this spring through my tax accounting professor’s connections). Then I’d have been one of those weirdos ;). Sounds like maybe your dad got same bad advice.</p>
<p>We still haven’t heard from the accountant, but my mom said that she and my dad agree with me now and I think we can put this behind us. My mom said she thinks the accountant is afraid to return my dad’s call… apparently my dad accused him of causing anarchy in our house. 
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<p>I think my dad and I are both still a tiny bit sore at each other for the way this went down, but at least it’s over. We’ll both get over it. 
I am really glad I stood my ground… even though this time it seems to have all been a misunderstanding, this is exactly the kind of thing my parents do from time to time, and I’ve set a very good precedent for how these conflicts will be handled now that I’ve moved out. I think it will take them a while to unlearn that I can be pushed around… I wasn’t exactly compliant in nature growing up, either… but hopefully someday.</p>
<p>Good for you, Emaheevul! I’m proud of you for standing your ground on a question of principle, and seeing it through to the proper resolution. Your parents should be proud of you, too, but whatever they think, you did the right thing.</p>
<p>I’m so glad it all worked out so well in the end.</p>