Teacher gift -- my dilemma

Parent Cafe
1

<p>My dh is an excellent, popular elementary-school teacher – the kind families request year after year for subsequent kids. There’s practically a cult around him. Because dh teaches at the public school where our own kids went, and we live in the neighborhood, I’m actually good friends with some of his current/former parents. His current homeroom mom is someone I went to lunch with once years ago as she was seeking my advice on an education-related issue, and we have been at the same parties. </p>

<p>As most of the homeroom moms have done through the years, she asked me for ideas for an end-of-year class present. I told her ds is saving for an iTouch so a gift card to Target or one of those Visa cards he can spend anywhere would be awesome. (I was thinking that if she collected $100 from the 23 families, that would be awesome and he would be thrilled to have such a good start on his latest toy.) She wrote back that she wants to just BUY HIM ONE! I told her that he’d kill both of us if she did that, but she said that she’d collect from the class and whatever she didn’t get toward the amount she and her dh would pay and that it’s something she really wants to do (backstory: this child is her second and last to have dh, and they are moving OOS at the end of the school year; I think she’s feeling pretty sentimental).</p>

<p>Should I put my foot down and insist that she and the class not be that extravagant, or just let her do it and be gracious? Dh will be shocked when he opens it. I don’t think he’ll be TOOO mad at me, but I have learned my lesson about saying a gift card is going toward something in particular!</p>

<p>ETA: When I was at Sam’s today, I saw that the basic one is $219, so $10 from each family would cover it, which isn’t out of the norm for a teacher’s gift here, but it just seems like a LOT when you put it all together like that. He’s thrilled when he gets a nice note from the family!</p>

2

<p>I think you should make it clear that you certainly did not intend that they buy him the iTouch and then leave them to do what they choose. Sometimes giving a generous gift makes someone very happy.</p>

3

<p>Let her collect and fill in the rest. She’s moving away, she’s appreciative, if everyone kicks in between $5-10, she won’t be paying that much.</p>

<p>And it sounds like DH is worth it.</p>

4

<p>I agree but one word of caution. I teach in Massachusetts and there is a new law that teachers are not allowed to accept a gift from a student or parent that exceeds a fifty dollar value. In fact we have to write down the value of the gifts we receive and if we get one that we think is over fifty dollars we have to refuse it due to ethics violations, even if the gift was given through the contributions of several parents or a whole class. I guess the government thinks that MA teachers will be tempted to “reward” students for good gifts. Sheesh.</p>

5

<p>Youdon’tsay - My daughter is studying to be a teacher, and I hope she is an “excellent, popular” one, too. That is really terrific.</p>