<p>soozievt, Thank you for saying that. </p>
<p>Lots of people have tried to explain this nicely to the OP, yet she persists in bringing up ridiculous side issues (“oh, so you must believe that children should never talk outloud in class/always have an IED/abusive teachers…”)</p>
<p>Let me sum it up for the OP. I do not care what you think you know, leave this girl alone. Since you won’t do it for the right reasons, do it because on-line you are coming across as petty and mean-spirited and in person you will only come across as more so.</p>
<p>pug…in all fairness, missypie is leaving it alone but just venting on CC, whether or not everyone agrees with her take on the situation.</p>
<p>I think anyone is entitled to wonder about the judgment of a teacher–no one is being harmed by postulating that perhaps–in a misguided attempt to ‘help’ — the teacher was actually doing a disservice to the student. There are plenty of issues that don’t specifically pertain to our own children from which we might learn by examining from a variety of angles. Of course our focus is on our own kids and most often teachers are (and should often) be given the benefit of the doubt. </p>
<p>I don’t think it’s necessarily mean-spirited nor wildly innappropriate to simply consider an issue that one observed at school and wonder whether the approach was effective/correct.</p>
<p>I view the situation this way: </p>
<p>Missiepie, comes across to me as frustrated that her daughter has to compete with someone who is being asked to do half the work. It seems that students are ranked in this hs. This might be fair, or quite unfair, IMO.</p>
<p>Missiepie, shows concern that the other student’s learning is being compromised for a physical disability that has nothing to do with her intellect. This may be the case, and it can be looked into by Wendy’s parents, and various administrators and/or special ed staff.</p>
<p>Missiepie, comes across to me as frustrated that her son could not benefit from some accommodations or modifications that perhaps should have been considered. This might be the case, but it should not have any bearing on Wendy or this teacher.</p>
<p>Northeastmom,
You summed up my observations. </p>
<p>Missypie…I can’t tell from your body of posts on the thread what the real issue is. At first, I thought it was about “fairness” and how Wendy had an “unfair” advantage by getting study guides for the tests and less preparation and what not. You also cited some other observations at the school with some teachers seemingly favoring certain boys. Some have posted the possibility, however, that there are accomodations for this student that you are not aware of but that may or may not be so. </p>
<p>But in some other posts, you said your concern was primarily that the student’s learning was being compromised since you believe she is as academically capable as the able bodied students and that the teacher may be condescending to Wendy because she is in a wheelchair and some view those in wheelchairs as being disabled mentally. In that scenario, I hear your vent but there is nothing you can do and if it bothers Wendy she needs to voice her concern or her parents need to on her behalf. </p>
<p>But you have also posted about frustrations with your son who may need some accomodations due to his disability. That is a valid concern but it seems unrelated to Wendy. Pursue it, if need be, on its own merits.</p>
<p>Don’t want to hijack the discussion, so I would like a to keep opinions brief, but I see some parallels to a situation that I know about and Wendy. Someone I know lives in 2 homes. One home is 50 minutes from his hs. He is there on weekends. Weekends he is required to play trumpet in the marching band. Grading includes showing up on weekends for the football games (religious beliefs are the only acceptable excuse). The school tells all students that if you cannot make it on weekends to the football games, do not take this course because absences will effect the grade. This student could not go to the games because of a lack of transportation. He was given the same grade as a student who attended every football game. Those who attended every game could not sleep on those days, did not have that time for personal use, or that time to study. Band members must play in rain, sleet and snow (unless it gets ridiculous). This student is not out in the elements, gets to sleep in, or do whatever with that time. Fair or not fair?</p>
<p>Soozie, I cross posted with you.</p>
<p>Also, just wanted to show you a different example. I can make an argument for the boy above, but I could make an argument for the entire band as well!</p>
<p>Life is unfair on a lot of different levels. A parent could be disabled and not be able to chauffeur the child to a bunch of different activities. Other siblings in the household may have needs – it’s quite possible that if Wendy has siblings, their lives are affected in some way if she has frequent therapy or other things arising from her physical disability that may take away the parents’ time.</p>
<p>I have a friend who is American by birth but grew up in France. When her children were little, she spoke only French to them and the husband spoke only English, so they are obviously quite fluent in French, almost comparable to a native speaker. They are advantaged in taking the AP French test compared to my son who is just learning French the old-fashioned way, in school. Ah well. Life isn’t fair.</p>
<p>pizzagirl, I completely agree. Also, my kids know two children who were raised speaking, as well as reading and writing Chinese. My older son has friend who attended elementary school until 4th grade in a Spanish speaking country. Obviously, they all had very easy time on the respective standardized tests for those languages. The student who spoke Spanish was able to skip one or two Spanish classes and had As on the most advanced Spanish classes our high school offers. He never needed to study much for Spanish either.</p>
<p>The teacher may be following an IEP and is intentionally carrying it out in front of other students so they too can overhear the info…</p>
<p>an IEP can call for all sorts of accommodations (extra time, separate room, notes from a notr taker) and with a wheelchair type disability, this student may fall under an ADA plan as well… and I concur with those who suggest that the wheelchairbound student may have some sort of learning issue or whatnot…</p>
<p>Unlike some, I do not think the teacher is a goofus; I think the teacher is openly communicating with the wheelchairbound student as part of an IEP or an ADA accommodation.</p>
<p>And mainly, I think the OP’s daughter should mind her own business. And sit closer to the girl so she can hear what is on the test.</p>
<p>I have read through the whole thread and I do understand the OPs frustration. If you don’t know the stituation, I think that it is unfair to speculate. Wendy could have an accomodation as to how she is taught foreign language. You or your D would not know because you would not have a need to know. </p>
<p>If you are looking to create a win-win situation, perhaps you can arrange a talk with the teacher and let him know that your D is overhearing the conversation (whether intentional or not) and her perception is that Wendy is being favored. You are not here to pass judgement one way or the other or get any information about Wendy that you are not privvy to, but in the future could he take this into consideration when it comes to future conversations with Wedy.</p>
<p>OP has also said</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I could be wrong but I look at it this way, from your D’s point, you should remind her that it is impolite to easedrop because you will end up hearing things you know nothing about and end up speculating about situations that do not concern you. </p>
<p>In the vein of let a man first examine himself, I would also question as to whether she is getting an unfair advantage through her easedropping that your D is getting an unfair advantage since she wants to know what is on the test too and tying to hear a conversation that she is not a part of (especially if the teacher is talking to the student as part of her accomodation).</p>
<p>got a lttle flustered (mind working faster than fingers)</p>
<p>I meant to say</p>
<p>In the vein of let a man first examine himself, I would ask your D whether or not she is getting an unfair advantage through her easedropping on a conversation that has nothing to do with her especially since she admitted that she is trying to overhear the conversations between Wendy and the teacher she wants to know what is on the test too if the teacher is indeed talking to the student as part of her accomodation).</p>
<p>sybbie–since you made a correction and admitted your fingers were typing faster than your brain, I can’t resist helping you out.</p>
<p><em>eavesdropping</em> not easedropping. Tho the latter is a very nice word!</p>
<p>Originally it was someone who sat close to a house, under the eaves, and listened in at a window.</p>
<p>Now back to our regularly scheduled discussion! :)</p>
<p>I think if the D feels strongly about this, she could go to the teacher, admit she hears the special information given to Wendy, and ask him to make the conversation more private if it is just intended for one person, or more public if it’s information anyone could know! She can say she feels uncomfortable hearing this if other students don’t, giving the teacher a chance to explain a bit, and her the chance to point out that Wendy is only physically challenged, not thick.</p>
<p>I have enough on my plate worrying about my own child. However, if I were aware of a situation where a teacher was abusive to any child, I would certainly feel it was my responsibility to speak up. </p>
<p>If my child presented me with the situation that the OP has described, I’d respond as others have indicated: reiterate that life is not fair, and that his goal should be to learn the material and not worry about what “advantages” others might have. </p>
<p>My kids really never brought this stuff up to me at all. I wasn’t that interested in high school gossip, (re: the tale of the female flirting teachers) and they knew it.</p>