<p>The thing is that you’re getting your information from kids and kids tend to not see things the way they really are but rather the way they perceive them. Your daughter tells you that the teacher favors good looking boys. Your daughter tells you that the teacher gives this girl a “cheat sheet.” The best thing you could do is to reinforce to your daughter that she needs to concentrate more on her own success rather than everyone else. In high school, kids tend to dramatize and exaggerate.</p>
<p>Northeastmom, if I found out that a teacher was telling one student and one student only what was on every single test and it was not a legal accomodation, but just the teacher’s judgment that the student needed help, I’d be very displeased. Stay after school and tutor the student - great; tell him what is going to be on the test when no one else knows - bad. </p>
<p>Is a teacher, in exercise of his “professional judgement” allowed to look at his class and say, “Student X studies hard, and I’m sure she’ll study 2 hours for this test, so she gets no help. Student Y has a volleyball game tonight and the only way she’ll pass is if I tell her in advance exacty what to study in those 15 mintues she has to study, so she gets help.” If teachers are doing that when everyone is competing for class rank, I’d certainly find that improper.</p>
<p>NYsmile, on the good looking boys thing, it’s a situation where almost every student has gone home and told a parent that. Again, such incredible defense of teachers. 20 kids say teacher is flirting with a boy in class, and we’re not supposed to believe them, but think only the best of the teacher? In the past month, 4 local teachers have been arrested for improper (physical) conduct with teen students. How long did students describe weird teacher behavior before someone checked into it?</p>
<p>missiepie, I am not trying to be rude, but what you find improper (ie; supplying a study guide, or study aid to one and not the others), is really not important to the school. You are not this teacher’s boss. A teacher does not need to justify their teaching techniques to every suspecting parent. I don’t find it fair, but I know this type of individual help happens. When some kids struggle and get Fs, but are clearly applying themselves, seeking extra help, and still failing, I know of teachers who are giving this kind of help. My kid was not the beneficiary of such help, but he told me about a couple of others getting that type of help after school.</p>
<p>missy, I feel a little odd in doing this but I am going to repost the post I posted a while back on this thread:</p>
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<p>So, as you can see, I didn’t say that Wendy has learning accomodations but only to consider that is a possibility that you don’t know about. I also suggested that if she doesn’t require accomodations and the teacher is condescending (one of your original fears) because she is wheelchair bound, then Wendy may feel that and choose to tell her own parents and go from there. We don’t know if Wendy is bothered by this and it doesn’t matter if you are or not as you are not truly involved. </p>
<p>But if you are concerned that Wendy has an unfair advantage (you did say the T was unfairly favoring her) and has no specified accomodations at the school, then I suggested and assume that your D is friendly with her (you say they have gone all through school together) and she even sits NEXT to her, that your D could say, “Hey Wendy…Mr. T let you know what will be on the test…do you mind sharing that with us?” I mean kids who take classes together share and converse this way. If your D is so sure that Wendy doesn’t have accomodations, then treat her like any OTHER classmate and say, “Hey, what’s up…I see you have a list of what’s on the test…”.</p>
<p>Missypie: I can believe that the teacher is going too far in trying to help Wendy. </p>
<p>However I think the best thing to do is to stay out of it. Wendy may need to learn that week after week of being treated like she is stupid may help with the grade, but doesn’t feel too good inside. She needs to learn to identify when she is not being treated equally and how to rectify the situation. By trying to help Wendy stick up for herself, you are stepping in and preventing her from learning how to do it herself. This really may not be about the test but about a valuable life skill that she need to develop.</p>
<p>cross posted with soozie</p>
<p>I’m just trying to figure out the underlying tone of teacher bashing. First the teacher is giving too much help to one girl. Now others are flirting with the boys. Then there is the hint that you’re mad because your son isn’t getting the services that you feel he deserves (which I think is the whole point of you starting the thread). I can understand the frustration of advocating for special ed. services year in and year out but to harbor so much distrust for teachers isn’t a good thing. It would be unfortunate if your kids picked up your attitudes toward teachers and learned to use this as a way to get you worked up (deflect negativity towards the teacher rather than them). Also, it may be very frustrating for you as a “no longer working special ed. teacher” because you feel that you can do a better job of teaching than your kid’s teachers. Have you considered going back to teaching?</p>
<p>It’s not teacher-bashing, it’s teacher-questioning. I agree with Missypie that it’s interesting that so many here are uncomfortable with it. In other threads, people (not sure if it’s the same ones) have been willing to discuss back and forth whether a teacher is doing the best thing in a certain situation - but in this one it seems it’s off limits to ask that question. Not sure why that is, but it’s definitely interesting.</p>
<p>calreader, I think that one can ask, but I don’t think that the teacher needs to give a complete answer. The teacher is not free to talk a particular student’s needs with other students or their parents. In this case you have a student with a disbability. If this student has an IEP they have some additional legal rights, and the teacher has to even be more careful not to discuss this student’s educational needs with others in the class.</p>
<p>I think that missiepie, could send an email to the teacher and say that she would like her D to get the same study guide that is given orally to Wendy. Then missiepie, could wait for a response. Going in, and saying something like, “I don’t think it is fair that Wendy gets to do half the work for the same grade. She is being given an unfair advantage”, would probably end up getting a different response. This is just my guess. You can try and see what happens!</p>
<p>It’s definitely not an off limits question to ask. Discussion of any kind is a good thing. For me, I just don’t find this particular situation to be anyone else’s business. The teacher doesn’t have the right to discuss the student’s IEP with anyone other than the student, the administration, and the parents. To even question the teacher’s reason for such an accommodation is really not ours to judge. The same goes for the student who is assigned less homework (10 problems rather than 30), or extended time, or scribe, or one on one aide, or additional tutoring in the resource room, or separate location for testing with a one on one aide, or having a reading test read to the student, teacher written and printed outlines for studying, or whatever other accommodations are given to a student. It’s the teacher’s job to adhere to every child’s IEP whether the other students agree or disagree with the perceived advantage. IEP’s are to be held confidential so to assume that the teacher is doing something wrong without knowing the facts isn’t a wise assumption.</p>
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<p>Hrm… That might backfire. D could get some flack for attempting to cheat on the test, which would be ridiculous but not out of the realm of possibility.</p>
<p>If I were Wendy and I didn’t have any accomodations, I’d be offended, and I’d pitch a fit. If I were Wendy and didn’t have any accomodations and were shy, I’d be quietly mortified. Still… Erring on the side of grace, and being that I’m not Wendy, I’d just let it go.</p>
<p>There are bad teachers in this world. Sounds like this guy is probably one of them. Still, like others have said, there’s no way of knowing whether or not this is an instance of him being a lousy teacher or whether there’s something else going on, so this is probably Wendy’s cross to bear, and hers alone, probably…</p>
<p>For this type of issue, I think CC is a place to get our displeasure with a situation off our chest. It’s a place to vent. I don’t think it is a parent’s place to do much in this situation. This does seem unfair. This may are may not be an accommodation that the student is entitled to. The teacher may assume she has disabilities that she does not. But it really is not the place of a parent of another child to question this or intervene. </p>
<p>I suspect that this student has faced obstacles that we cannot even imagine. I’ll bet she has been discriminated against far more times than she has been given an unfair advantage. Sometimes we have to let it go. This will not be the first time your daughter will see someone getting what may or may not be an unfair advantage. It won’t be the last. Live isn’t fair. Wendy knows that more than we ever will know.</p>
<p>I don’t see it as cheating if one student has a study guide and another asks if he can also see the study guide. Kids help each other prepare for tests and projects. </p>
<p>However, I still am of mind that whatever the teacher is doing with Wendy is Wendy’s business. There may be a reason for it that we don’t know about. Wendy has a disability, even if not a learning one, and we don’t know what was worked out. And it may be nothing. And if it is nothing, not sure why it is anyone else’s concern. </p>
<p>And if the OP really wants all kids to be treated equal, I was suggesting that her D could treat Wendy like ANY OTHER classmate she is sitting next to and after class ask her if she is willing to share the study guide, if it was given in such an overt manner that OP’s D saw it in class (was not given in private).</p>
<p>Not to speak for missypie, but I think what she was initially objecting to was a potentially patronizing attitude toward those in wheelchairs, by the teacher–an attitude which would do an ultimate disservice to that student.</p>
<p>"The bad teachers of the world would be very happy to know that there are lots of parents out there willing to support their actions, no matter how idiotic they are. It is really fascinating that almost no one on the board is willing to even entertain the idea that the teacher is a dufus and is not following an IEP. "</p>
<p>It’s for the parent of the child with the IEP to deal with that, though. Not you. This just doesn’t rise to the level of your business.</p>
<p>Jolynne - that may be, but that still also falls into the realm of the parent / child to deal with, not an outsider.
If the teacher were somehow being outwardly abusive (e.g., kicking a child in a wheelchair, prohibiting them from leaving in time to make it to the next class, making fun of the child), then I can see an unrelated parent calling a flag on the play. But not this.</p>
<p>Question: If student A goes in early to get extra help from the teacher, and in the course of that the teacher reveals the focus of the upcoming test in a bit more detail (“be sure you really understand how to conjugate the reflexive verbs – or understand photosynthesis – I’ll definitely be testing you on that”), is that really all that awful?</p>
<p>"I guess y’all would think any child who gets special help secretly has an IEP? "</p>
<p>No. I wouldn’t think it about at all, and I would discourage my children from spending time observing these things and gossiping about them. Put your head down and focus on being the best YOU can be, not around whether the situation around you is “unfair” or not. Because life’s unfair. This kid over here comes from a broken home. That kid over there has a trust fund and a business he’s going to walk into when he graduates, so he doesn’t need to get good grades at all. That kid was born a freakin’ math genius. Such is life. Other kids aren’t our concern, in the nicest possible way – absent seeing some egregious abuse.</p>
<p>“Both this year and last year, my daughter has had female teachers who give an embarrassing amount of attention, second chances, praise, extra credit, to a couple of good looking boys in the class. There was one situation last year where the whole class was of the opinion that the teacher “liked” a certain boy.”</p>
<p>Again, to me, that’s the kind of thing that unless something truly egregious can be proven, I’d stay out of it.</p>
<p>If the issue truly is that the teacher is patronizing the student just because she is in a wheelchair but requires no other accomodations, it is too bad but then the student should either speak up or discuss it with her parents. I just don’t see it as anything someone else gets involved with. Those in wheelchairs are often unfairly viewed as otherwise disabled and so it is something they must deal with. If there are any bad feelings in this class, hopefully this child is dealing with them or telling her parents. We just don’t know if the child feels this way or truly needs some accomodations (even if not learning disabled…perhaps there are reasons we don’ tknow about that she has limits to how much time can be spent on homework due to physical limitations).</p>
<p>Life is unfair. You or your D may wish she had the study guide that Wendy has. I bet Wendy wishes she could walk and do many of the activities your D gets to do. Your D has the better deal.</p>
<p>soozievt post 79 - amen to that.</p>