We had an interesting conversation with 2 other couples yesterday, about what is expected in terms of a response time to texts vs phone calls vs emails, etc. As someone who had to be immediately available for an emergency throughout my career, it’s pretty engrained in me to have a phone (or my watch, which receives calls and texts) nearby. My DH is always on business calls, so he silences his texts, and if I text him he may not look and/or see it or respond for quite a while (not always true but frequently it can be hours later). He sometimes complains that I text too much (but if I don’t text when the issue is in my head, I’ll forget). But then the other day he texted about wanting to know a schedule (we have a shared schedule/calendar he can check) to see if he was able to book something for himself with some friends, and I was on the phone and texted that I’d get back to him. I forgot (oops) and texted back an hour later and he was a bit annoyed that it took that long. Never mind the irony……
There is a small group of us who get together once a month, and we rotate who hosts and what day/time we are proposing. One friend complained yesterday that she sent out an email invite several days ago and I was the only one to respond.
So what is a reasonable length of time to respond to a text? An email? A phonecall? This is separate from handymen and other contractors who seem to march to a beat of their own, different drum, and never respond! A few of us are waiting n our shared decorator to respond to texts and calls!! And the guy who is supposed to fix a sprinkler head is just irresponsible (so will move on).
My DH and s’s have trained me to text, not call, for a variety of reasons. What is your preferred method of communication?
I don’t keep my personal cellphone at work with me (or if I do, I’m not checking it regularly). So my personal email is the best way to get in touch with me 100% of the time, or call my home phone (yes, still have a landline) if it’s the weekend and you want to talk IRL.
I have MANY friends and acquaintances (people I volunteer with, for example) who get angry that it may take me hours to respond to a text. And now- anger- that I didn’t respond to a What’s App message. There are a LOT of people whose jobs do not allow them to have the constant pinging and bleeping, and whose jobs do not allow them to use a personal cell phone at work (my family members who work for the federal government, for example. One is in a secured location, and sticks all non-government devices in a locked facility after swiping in for the day).
So I don’t get the anger, especially since I warn people in advance “email me and you’ll get a response quickly. Anything else- it could be hours”. I am allowed to check personal email on my work computer, so that’s the fastest thing. Unless you are attaching a HUGE file of photographs, something you got off Reddit, etc. in which case the virus software will most likely grab it and I won’t be able to click.
What’s App? OMG. How do those people hold down a job? There’s a community one for my neighborhood (which I just deleted) and between the people looking to borrow 12 folding chairs in a month (why must you get a response immediately?) and the people who are upset that the Amazon guy stuck their package on the wrong step, and the people who are upset about the dog walkers… the thing goes off every thirty seconds with a non-urgent “this can totally wait” message.
Yes, I am a Luddite.
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With my kids/H, texting is the usual form. If I email my kids something - usually a document - I’ll text them to let them know. Same with H. H calls me at work 1-2xday “to check in.” Not something I prefer, but after 30+ years, I’d worry if he stopped. With texts, H and I respond almost immediately to each other unless I’m in a meeting or he’s busy at work. But rarely more than an hour.
The kids usually respond within a couple of hours. It depends if they’re available to respond. If they are, it’s immediate and a conversation happens just like a phone call. If not, it might be a few hours. It’s pretty rare for them to miss something and not respond. We also text each other every day, usually multiple times a day about something. Usually funny thing, pictures, news items, what’s happening in our lives items, etc.
Friends? I’d say roughly the same. Texting is preferred, and the timeframe is similar as above. (I also don’t have many of those!)
Work? Email is preferred! I would hope that someone would get back to me and vice versa within 1-2 days. Immediately is preferred, but a lot of the time people are out of the office, etc.
Phone is never preferred! though we do call one kid roughly once/week, sometimes both get a call… H is usually the imitator of the calls to the kids when we are driving to/from somewhere.
Thanks. I should clarify, most of our friends are retired. My DH will be retiring soon, and a long time ago he chose not to carry two phones, so his work and personal phone are one and the same. So when he is at the office (he works from home 2x/week) he “should” have his phone within arms reach.
I don’t have any set rules or expectations. I text, call, and email as does everyone else in my circle, including the younger generation. Although at this point, I think texting is the primary mode of communication. I don’t expect for anyone to be glued to their device. If I have something time sensitive, I make sure I put that in the message. Within the family, we have a signal if it’s an emergency which is usually a text with 911 in the body and then two phone calls in a row. Only to be used in cases of actual emergencies.
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I joke that I’ll get back to you in 30 seconds or six months. There’s no in-between.
But there’s sort of an in-between. With personal emails and texts, it depends. I generally respond quickly, but I give myself permission to take some time (like, a few hours, till later in the evening) if it’s something that requires a little more thought. Of course, my kids expect a quick response (because they often get one). But they forget that there are times when this is not possible. On many occasions, I’ve checked my phone after I’m done teaching a class, and I see some indignant messages asking why I was not responding. Well, dear child, I was in the middle of a lecture, so… (Then again, my father does the same thing, but he doesn’t expect a quick response.)
With work emails, I have really tried to train myself to resist the urge to respond immediately, because most messages are really not that urgent. But it’s taken a lot of practice. I have a former student who still brings up the fact that (years ago!) he emailed me at 3 a.m. to tell me he was going to be too sick to attend class the next day, and I responded immediately because I was up working. No one needs that. 
Then again, sometimes I do let committee emails that I don’t really want to deal with get “lost” in my inbox for a few days. Or a few weeks.
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Retired or not, I applaud anyone who is comfortable enough to put their phone down or away for a couple of hours or take the time they need to craft a response especially if it’s about a decision.
My thought is via text I’d like to hear something back that day. Could be an hour could be 12. It is also appreciated when someone texts and says “busy right now I promise to get back with your tonight!”.
I rarely email anyone in my personal life - only work. I 99.5% of the time use text over email.
That said, I am usually a quick responder - if I’m not busy or occupied and my phone is near. But I don’t respond when driving.
What I hate: when people have the “read” setting option on their phone. Better for me not to know that someone read my text and I CERTAINLY don’t want anyone to know when I read theirs! Boundaries.
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If I don’t respond right away, good luck! So it may seem that I’m on top of things but it’s because if I read it and don’t respond I’ll forget.
My husband, sometimes he responds, sometimes he doesn’t but since I see him everyday, it’s usually not an issue.
My kids. One answers on a timely manner. One is not good. I’ve resorted to sending texts to him and his wife if I need a response because he’s so terrible.
My mom, I can text and she usually gets back to me. My mil will not text or do any sort of technology so you have to call her when sometimes I just need a short answer. Then I get an half hour of stories about the dog 
There is one particular person who I basically refuse to communicate with anymore because they are so bad on their phone. I’m not related to them so it’s a problem for them if they want to get an answer. I ignore them.
I’ve started keeping my phone with me because I got tired of having to run downstairs to get the two-factor authorization code.
So now I tend to respond quickly, although I’m training myself to ignore notifications that can wait for a bit (like the constant links from a friend who seems dedicated to keeping me informed about the current political situation).
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I like using texting since I get notifications(without sound) and I can respond right away or as soon as I see it. If I don’t then it might wait.
Kid’s mostly text unless something important than they text to see if we can talk then call. Kids can take days to get back or week’s 
… My daughter goes off “grid” as we call it when there is a lot going on. If we do the old “you OK” we will get a response. But she’s been great with calling me just to call. As she gets older she is doing this more.. Which is great 
…
I am doing things in the AI world and even local meet-up meetings people tend to… LinkedIn… Message me they say.. Lol. Now I have to set up an account. Lol.
For business I prefer them to email unless I know the rep and like them. Then they get my cell number and they can text.
I don’t prefer calls unless it’s family or a good friend. Lots of times it goes to my answering thing on the phone or my Google phone will decide not to let them through. Lol. I hate listening to my messages and there are calls on there I didn’t respond to.