<p>OK This isn’t really gonna be all that angsty, but i need some advice from a more veteran group of people than my friends. Some background information I’m going to be a college freshman and I’m from the Midwest, this post involves my feelings for a female friend of mine. I’ve known this girl I’ll call Jill, for about 8 years but we really became friends at the beginning of senior year. At the beginning of the year Jill asked another girl in our class if she had feelings for me and that girl said yes, so according to some sort of strange woman code Jill was not allowed to pursue me I guess. Jill then had a bf for most of senior year, so we just became good friends. Jill and her bf broke up after prom, but then it was so close to graduation I never acted on it. This summer due to a number of reasons we didnt really see each other that much and she got another boyfriend. So here’s the question or series of questions, I’m writing her a letter because we didn’t see each other before she left for her east coast school, is it weird to tell her I have feelings for her despite her having a boyfriend. Second question is it worth pursuing this girl anymore due to the 1200 mile gap between our schools. This girl is the first girl I’ve actually had real feelings for, not just physical attraction. Final question should I call her or write a letter. Thanks in advance for any advice, sorry for the long post. I apologize if this is in the wrong spot.</p>
<p>I would call her over writing a letter. Letters expressing previously unstated love tend to be creepy. JMO, of course.</p>
<p>Frankly, though, I would not do either since she has a boyfriend. Follow her example and start looking at unattached people (there will be plenty at college), rather than pining over someone who isn’t available.</p>
<p>In answer to the long distance question, some long distance relationships work but they can be very stressful and difficult to maintain. In this particular case, it would be almost certain to fail because you didn’t actually have a relationship going on BEFORE getting to the long distance part.</p>
<p>Oh, just send her an email: “would you like to get together and have a cup of coffee the next time we’re in the same place? I’d love to see you.” That lets her know you’re interested without it being a big deal.</p>
<p>Yeah, go with the email. Maybe something like “Hey, if you’re home at Thanksgiving let’s grab coffee”. Innocent but could possibly open doors. </p>
<p>Honestly, you need to go off to your college with your mind set on having a grand adventure. Don’t dwell on the “what ifs”…that is not the way to start freshman year. Go and have fun!</p>