<p>What kinds of restrictions do you put on your HS teen?</p>
<p>Today, ds calls to let me know the bus is really late, then calls back to say it arrived but isn’t working and so they’ve called for backup. It’s obvious they’ll be late if he waits for this to play out. I drop his car off to him so he ends up making the long drive to school (20 miles) in rush-hour traffic and takes his brother and three girls with him.</p>
<p>I get so nervous when he has other kids in the car. This is his first time driving a bunch of others to school, and I was fine with it because I knew they didn’t want to be late. If it weren’t so far and across town it wouldn’t be such an issue, but I hate feeling responsible for all these kids, especially because I know the parents probably had no idea their kids went to school with mine. Ds is a good driver, very carfeul, at least when I’m with him.</p>
<p>So, what are your rules? I told him don’t offer to drive this same crew home (though the drive home is a lot less stressful to me!)</p>
<p>YDS, I have twin sons, 17 1/2 years old. They got their learner’s permits at age 16, passed road test at 16 1/2 and received full senior licenses at age 17. Our house rules are that they can drive NO ONE other than their siblings or their parents. The first real test of this will come in about two weeks when they start school, as this is the first time they will be permitted (by school rule) to drive to school. I do not think they will violate our house rules, because they know I have ways of finding out. (I don’t tell them how I will know, obviously.)</p>
<p>For example, originally I told them that they were to have no radio/music on when they were driving. No distractions. I planned on enforcing this rule until I was comfortable that they had picked up enough experience. Well, one day I got into the car last driven by one of my sons and when I turned on the radio, the acronym “AUX” popped up, meaning that my DS had connected his i-pod to use while he was driving. To this day, he can’t figure how I knew what he had done.</p>
<p>There will come a time when I will feel more comfortable with having them drive others around, maybe another 6 months or so. I’d rather not have them get to the point where they are a taxi service for others. We also live a significant distance from their high school and the students come from far distances. Instead of spending lots of time chauffeuring others home, they can blame it on “mean mom.”</p>
<p>Both of my kids got their licenses during the summer between 10th and 11th grade. They were not allowed to have any other kids in the car for six months.</p>
<p>Since they both drove a small pickup truck, the problem of piling five kids into the vehicle never arose. In fact, one of the reasons we kept the truck for them to drive was because it limited the number of passengers. (The other reason is because it is a manual transmission, and yakking on the phone is very difficult while one is shifting in in-town traffic.)</p>
<p>I also did not allow driving on interstate highways for more than a year, and only after they had done so with me on long drives. However, that was possible because you can get anywhere in this town (less than 100K population) without using the interstate, although one cuts right through town. I realize that would be more problematic in many other places.</p>
<p>License the earliest at 16 1/2. State rule prohibit driving more than one other person for 9 months, can’t be out after midnight.
No music, cell phones, radio for the first 6 months. ( no cell phones EVER)
We live 10 miles from school through rush hour traffic in the busiest interchange of the city. They drive this with me for 6 months when they have their learner’s permit. They get freeway experience often and early until I feel they are safe driving in the rush hour traffic.<br>
Any breaking of any rules results in forfeiture of the car and driving ability for 6 months.
We play hardball but it is their lives on the line.</p>
<p>We went with our state rule of not having more than one non family member in the car. Our D1 was not allowed to ride with anyone until they had their full license (18). I didn’t trust those young drivers. We didn’t let her drive down to Jersey shore until the summer of senior year because of highway.</p>
<p>If you don’t mind me saying, I wouldn’t have taken those 3 girls prior to their parents’ consent (or even with their consent if it’s breaking the state law). You were trying to help, but some parents may not appreciate it. I for one, would have liked to be told first. But my daughter would have called me before she got int the car with your son. If your son would have gotten into a car accident, your liability would have been huge.</p>
<p>Our laws are different, so it was perfectly legal, or I never would have let him do it. And these kids may very well have told their parents; it just all went down so fast that I didn’t take the time to ask. My son knows these girls well, and the parents know him. I know one set of parents wouldn’t have a problem as he’s driven their older dd before (and one of the other girls was her younger sister, who is the same age as my younger ds). The third girl has very strict parents, but I bet they’d be OK with it, but I can’t be sure.</p>
<p>Do you think I should e-mail both sets of parents and let them know and then ask if something like this happens in the future whether they care if ds drives them?</p>
<p>Something similar happened with ds1 years ago. Chronic bus problems that would result in the kids being stranded at the middle school. I learned later that ds1 twice got into private cars (and once with someone I didn’t know at all!) with parents who were dropping off the middle school sibling and then heading to the HS for dropoff. I can appreciate that he didn’t want to be late, but, wow, I was not pleased. I think it’s different for seniors, however, getting in a car with a classmate they’ve known since kindergarten.</p>
<p>Just FYI, for parents who are banning music, I’ve read many times that music is good for keeping drivers awake and alert (and it’s something I’ve experienced in my four short years of driving). I drove myself to school every day for almost all of junior and senior year and I can’t imagine having done it without CDs or the morning radio show that I always listened to. I probably would have fallen asleep and driven off the road.</p>
<p>dc89
If you can’t stay awake on the drive to school then it sounds like you have other issues.
I agree that music helps with long drives but for the young driver everything I have read is that music causes distractions especially if they try to change CDs or music on their ipod.
Too big of a temptation so it was just outlawed.
Even when we let them start listening to the radio they don’t change the station etc while car is in motion.</p>
The first real test of this will come in about two weeks when they start school, as this is the first time they will be permitted (by school rule) to drive to school. I do not think they will violate our house rules, because they know I have ways of finding out. (I don’t tell them how I will know, obviously.)</p>