<p>yes, cartera, me too - I researched the ES because DD said a classmate offered to drive her to their after school HS EC. I did not want my kid spending 30 minutes in an usafe car every day for 3 months.</p>
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<p>I disagree. When I was 16, I drove a 6-year-old Olds Cutlass Supreme (hand-me-down – dad got the new car, mom got his, I got hers). Eight years later and an appreciable increase in family income later, my 16-year-old sister was driving a Porsche. (And a more down-to-earth person you’ll never meet.) Either way, we were appreciative that we had cars to drive, and appreciative of all the other nice opportunities we had in life. </p>
<p>I don’t think that you can necessarily conclude that the kid who gets the nicer car is less appreciative. Any feeling of entitlement is independent of the actual cost of a thing.</p>
<p>Many families on here have traveled extensively. Our family has taken one trip abroad and when we did, we flew business class and stayed in a nice hotel at our destination. There are other families on here who have traveled far more extensively than that, have taken their children to several continents, have exposed them to a heck of a lot more. Should I conclude that those kids must feel more “entitled” to nice vacations because they’ve taken nicer vacations than my kids? Should I conclude that their parents should have taken that money and put it towards a starving family, or that it’s ostentatious of people to travel? I say, good for all of them, and enjoy.</p>
<p>I really think there is a lot of inner peace that comes with releasing all that angst about how other people spend their money.</p>
<p>My first car proved that new doesn’t mean safe. My Dad bought me a brand new Ford Pinto in 1975 - complete with the latest exploding gas tank.</p>
<p>"I disagree. When I was 16, I drove a 6-year-old Olds Cutlass Supreme (hand-me-down – dad got the new car, mom got his, I got hers). Eight years later and an appreciable increase in family income later, my 16-year-old sister was driving a Porsche. (And a more down-to-earth person you’ll never meet.) Either way, we were appreciative that we had cars to drive, and appreciative of all the other nice opportunities we had in life. </p>
<p>I don’t think that you can necessarily conclude that the kid who gets the nicer car is less appreciative. Any feeling of entitlement is independent of the actual cost of a thing."</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, I think we just need to agree to disagree because I disagree with your statement as well. One of my roommates in college drove a brand new shiny red corvette, which she totaled. Daddy bought her a new one identical to the first. Did she learn from the first accident? Nope. Daddy bought her a third new shiny red corvette. True story.</p>
<p>“I really think there is a lot of inner peace that comes with releasing all that angst about how other people spend their money.”</p>
<p>Wow. This made me spit my coffee out from laughing. I really think there is a lot of inner peace that comes with admitting a sense of entitlement as well.</p>
<p>My angst isn’t about how other people spend their money, it is more about reading articles about teens causing auto accidents.</p>
<p>Both my brothers got into accidents before age 18, one with the previously mentioned 1969 Impala tank and the other with a 1977 Mazda GLC w/stick shift, AM radio and no A/C. Testosterone stupidity is not limited to those with spiffy cars.</p>
<p>If one of my kids were to take a full ride to college, we’d probably get a used late-model stick shift with ABS and airbags. </p>
<p>DonnaL: agree that the mindset in NYC towards cars is much different. DH grew up in the Bronx but did not have a car until after he graduated from college. I loaned him the downpayment til he got his first real paycheck. I have a niece who’s a senior this year who just got a used car, and my nephew who turned 17 last week is about to get one. They think it’s nuts that my kids don’t drive.</p>
<p>And that mindset can have lasting effect even when someone’s lived in New Jersey and driven a car almost daily for the last 22 years. I just don’t get “car culture” and don’t think I ever will.</p>
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<p>But that has nothing to do with the actual cost of the car.</p>
<p>Our tax money at work. Probably the dad work for a bailed out banks, failed investment banks, AIG receiving fat bonuses and don’t know how to spend it.</p>
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<p>Me too. Got me thinking, this parental gesture must be a nice way to please the neighbors too. You know, each 15 year old with a new fancy car lets everyone feel quite impressed about the 'hood in which they live 
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<p>In our high SES 'hood, it would be considered in poor taste and not remotely impressive (it would actually create the opposite impression).</p>
<p>“each 15 year old with a new fancy car lets everyone feel quite impressed about the 'hood in which they live”</p>
<p>Did you hear about the family at the end of the block? They bought C-class coupes for their teens this year. They must be having financial trouble, because I know they wanted to give them each an S-class for successfully completing another year of high school.</p>
<p>I attended a private high school with kids on scholarships and kids whose parents were from old family money or new Wall Street money. More of the kids who were visibly spoiled by their parents have not done well than have done well. </p>
<p>I would not give my child a Lexus for several reasons. One, I would not drive one myself as there is nothing available in a Lexus that I could not get in a less expensive car except for the “Lexus” name. Two, while it’s true that some children who are spoiled by their parents grow up hard working and humble, in my experience, a good percentage of them do not. </p>
<p>Just to be clear, I’m not saying anything about the student himself, it’s his parents that I think are acting inappropriately and not in their son’s best interest.</p>
<p>I have to say that having material things do not make kids feel entitled or spoiled. It is how parents behave that make them behave as such. </p>
<p>As an example, we give our kids the best kind of food possible, everything is homemade. We let them have as much as they want, but they have to finish what they have. It is ingrained in their head, so even when they go to all you can eat buffet restaurants, they would not take more than what they could eat. On the other hand, my sister is not as into quality food, she will buy more and allow her kids to do what they will when it comes to food. I would see them with a pile of food on their plate and throwing most of it out. </p>
<p>It is the same when it comes to other personal belongings. My kids will take care of their nice clothes and electronics because they know we would not replace them if they were careless. They have the kind of wardrobe many adults would be happy to have, but they know how to hand wash their delicates and their clothes are put away nicely.</p>
<p>Both of our kids work very hard because they see how hard we work. Through out high school, if they weren’t studying they were at their studio dancing. Now D1 is in college, she has good GPA, and she also works at 2 jobs on and off campus. Over her winter break, she is working almost full time at various jobs. D1 is looking for summer internship in finance. I know quite a few people in the business, but she is doing it on her own, she has sent out 60 applications so far. Every time she gets a favorable response outside of our contact, she is thrilled. Her uncle has laughed at her for working so hard. He said, “With the way you look, wouldn’t it be less painful to just become a MRS to one of those bankers?” I don’t think she is brought up to think that way.</p>
<p>I am not trying to portray my kids are perfect, they are like most kids. They have been given a lot of material things in life, but I do believe they are still very grounded. They do not take things for granted. They thank us for their education and few luxuries we have provided for them. There are other kids with a lot more than my kids, some are very nice kids and some are out right bratty, but I think it really comes down to their parents. The example given above about a red corvette - good parenting would have been not replacing the car, whether it’s a Honda or a Corvette, I don’t think it has to do with money. There are some “not so wealthy” parents who have no problem in replacing a toy every time their child breaks it or lose it.</p>
<p>Note - my H would not buy D1 a low end BMW even though we found a used one that was cheaper than the car we got for her. He didn’t like the image.</p>
<p>This is a fascinating thread for this armchair sociologist! It says alot less about cars and alot more about how we were raised, if we liked the values our parents raised us with, and if we’re doing the same with our kids. (not to mention how it works when the spouse was raised differently and wants to do something different for the kids). This is coming from a girl who’s father worked 40 years on Wall Street and drove a Honda Civic, drives a ten year old Lexus and has a sister who thinks she’s behaving like a nouveau riche for buying one in the first place!</p>
<p>oldfort has a good point. Spending doesn’t necessarily mean spoiling.</p>
<p>Different families have differing values/ ideas on what is worth spending on. When my kids were younger they knew that if we went to a toy shop for a friend’s birthday gift, they weren’t getting anything, but Mom always bought at the bookstore. We spent a lot for D’s dance classes/competitions in HS and it was worth it. At the same time she was not the girl who had the great wardrobe. In our family we are willing to invest a lot of money in college educations for our kids but corners elsewhere. </p>
<p>I am not saying that we have better values than anyone else. (I have had people tell me we were nuts to spend on dance and for private college). If we are not asking them to pay for it, well…</p>
<p>As for the Lexus, I wouldn’t buy one for a teen, I would (did) buy a less expensive car and use the money for education. But many of my family members own Lexus and they are really great cars.</p>
<p>I knew plenty of kids who got luxury cars for their 16th birthday when I was in high school. I’ve been at parties where kids have been awarded brand new Range Rovers, Mercedes-Benzes, Chevy/GMC Trucks and the like. None of these kids were bad kids, and none of the parents were pushovers. They just wanted to get their kid a car, and had enough to get them a really nice one. I don’t really think it is a bad thing to do this; just a mirror image of society.</p>
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<p>Right. It’s like back to school shopping. Or family vacations. The family lives a certain lifestyle and all members of the household enjoy that lifestyle. For the life of me, I don’t see why a family who desires to get their kid a car for a 16th birthday and can afford a nice one (and the money isn’t coming out of grandma’s diabetes medication) “should” drop down to some $1,000 clunker that they’d otherwise never drive to prove a point.</p>
<p>Disdain for the rich is woven into the fabric of Middle America. Leave me, my resentment, and my 2002 Hyundai Elantra in peace.</p>
<p>(Full Bumper Sticker Disclosure: My other car is a 2009 Scion xB.)</p>
<p>It should also depend on the kid’s driving abilities. My daily commute takes me by a high school located in an extremely well to do area. Lots of kids with their own cars, many with brand new luxury cars. Most of them are perfectly fine drivers, but there are also the bozos. Every time that I end up getting cut off tailgated by a 16 or 17 year old driving a brand-spanking-new high-end SUV or sports car, I wonder if the parents have any clue what their little darlings are up to. These are the kids who really need to be driving a used sedan, for their own sake.</p>
<p>I think it’s a little odd to be annoyed at rich people for buying expensive stuff for members of their families. And…
Well, aren’t they entitled to it if they have the money? As long as we have private property, people with more of it are entitled to the benefits of having it.</p>