<p>Hunt - I can’t believe you allowed yourself to be baited into joining this debacle, er debate, but as long as you’re here …</p>
<p>You’ve got enough money to buy luxury cars. What did you buy for your kid when he turned fifteen? S500? 911? C6? Or something considerably more modest?</p>
<p>fail to see how this has anything to do with if the family in question gave their kid a new Lexus sedan or a used Civic.</p>
<p>Is that the only point of discussion? Why limit it to the cost of the car?
There are many more factors involved IMO which I have mentioned earlier.
One- the boy hasn’t even taken drivers ed yet- who knows how he drives
**Two- **the parents apparently felt it was desirable to be mentioned in newspaper, that they were so pleased that the motivation of a car to improve his grades worked, that they spent $10,000 more than their previous limit.
**Three, **I think that receiving a reward out of proportion to the accomplishment, leaves a slimy feeling & doesn’t help to build self confidence.
**Four, **now this teen is going to have to deal with peers who want to hang out with him just because his parents have shown they like to throw money around, and he will have to learn to gauge his real friends from the hangers on.
**Five, **this car is undoubtably much more expensive than those that his teachers drive, some are likely going to discriminate against him because of that, particularly regarding the way his parents have advertised it.
Six, he is only fifteen- an expensive gift that will be ongoing- requiring fuel, maintainance, ins…, is a big outlay, I didn’t read anything that indicated he needed a car for school activities or work, and his parents would have to be saints, if giving such an expensive present would not change their expectations of him in any way.</p>
<p>Are they now going to withdraw paying for ins if his grades go down?
What are the ramifications if he gets into an accident?</p>
<p>His accomplishment of bringing his grades up, has little to do with being responsible enough to drive a car safely.</p>
<p>That is more of an issue with me, than what it costs, it is only in the paper because the community thought the price was worth noting.</p>
<p>^^^ emeraldkity4 All very valid points. I think people were referencing your most recent posts about teen driving statistics, which seemed a bit off topic.</p>
<p>Maybe it’s time for everyone to “fess up.” Which of these was your experience growing up? Which did you choose for your own kids? Me: a. DW: d. Our kids: b.</p>
<p>a. Stay out of trouble and keep your grades up, then you can borrow “the family car” when it’s available. Wreck that and you’ll pay for the damage.</p>
<p>b. Stay out of trouble and keep your grades up, then you can have “your mother’s car” when she gets her new one. You pay for gas and insurance.</p>
<p>c. Stay out of trouble and keep your grades up, then you can buy “a car we approve of” with your own money. You pay the gas and insurance.</p>
<p>d. Stay out of trouble and keep your grades up, and we’ll buy you “a car” for HS graduation. </p>
<p>e. Stay out of trouble and keep your grades up, and if you go accident free for a year we’ll buy you a “decent used car” when you turn 17. </p>
<p>f. We’ll buy you a “decent used car” when you’re 16.</p>
<p>g. We’ll buy you a “new car” when you’re 16 of 17, whatever.</p>
<p>h. We’ll buy you a “new luxury car” when you’re 16 or 17.</p>
<p>i. We’ll buy you a “new luxury car” before you can drive.</p>
<p>j. We’ll buy you a “new luxury car” before you can drive, and make sure everyone in the metropolitan area knows we bought it for you.</p>
<p>I think people were referencing your most recent posts about teen driving statistics, which seemed a bit off topic.</p>
<p>well no it wasn’t off topic to me, because I live in the same general area, and we have a lot of teen caused accidents.</p>
<p>I didn’t realize I guess that the only thing that was to be discussed was whether it was Ok to give an expensive car.
IMO, the important point was the car, the cost was just a distraction.</p>
<p>If we wanted to discuss- how expensive of presents to give- that would be something else.
Then you could get into
<p>Me: a.</p>
<p>Wife: c.</p>
<p>Our kids: Probably some variation on b or e. Remains to be seen.</p>
<p>[responding to post #164]</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Having been born and raised in Texas (and among old oil rich families :rolleyes:) I have seen plenty that have bought new cars for their kids, I’ve also seen plenty who pass down dad’s 5 year old sedan, and others who pass down “Old Bessie”, the much loved Suburban that every kid in the family drives at one point or another.</p>
<p>IMO, I couldn’t care less what kind of car a kid is given by their parents! What I care about is what kind of parenting the kid has gotten. I know plenty of kids who are driving around in fancy cars that are the most wonderful, down to earth people you’d ever meet, because to them, the car is just a method to get around town - fancy or not. I also know plenty of kids who are driving rat traps that are complete jerks.</p>
<p>It’s not the car (or the money/house/boat/ etc.) that defines a person, it’s their actions and their attitudes.</p>
<p>“It’s not the car (or the money/house/boat/ etc.) that defines a person, it’s their actions and their attitudes.”</p>
<p>Yes, exactly. And that’s what bothers me here. Instead of a Lexus, let’s say the parents bought the kid some vehicle that was basically irreplaceable … you know, a Lusso perhaps. Who among us would say, “Hey, it’s just a car.” Rather it would be “Is the family out of it’s collective minds? Giving a Lusso to kid with no driving experience at all?” </p>
<p>I know I’m asking too much but I’d feel a lot better about the kid, a nice young man I’m sure, if he’d said “This is way more than I expected. I’m gonna swap cars with my Mom until I’m confident I can drive it properly.” But you know, that kind of maturity is asking A LOT of a 15-year-old.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>The people at the Lexus dealership (whose livelihood is supported by the Lexus purchase) are just as worthy as the people at the used car dealership.</p>
<p>Again, if you’re going to make the case that for everything, that only the basics be bought and that the rest be donated to worthy causes, that pretty much means CC should close up shop. Because even an Ivy League education has a decent alternative in a state flagship, and maybe instead of $50K for an elite education, the parents on here should only spend $20K on state flagship and donate the remaining $30K to charity?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>We moved into our current house when I was expecting. We didn’t have living room furniture til our twins were, oh, probably 6 or so. Why? Because we preferred having an empty room and waiting until we could buy the quality we desired, rather than go out and buy cheap schlock just to fill the room. I don’t see anything wrong with leaving a room unfurnished. Why is that indicative of “needing help”? How do you know people who do that are “focused on appearing wealthy” as opposed to just careful purchasers who want to wait and focus?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Really? Huh. We could have bought diamond stud earrings for D for $500 at any mall jewelry store. We bought diamond stud earrings that cost $X more from a fine jeweler. What “purpose” did that serve? It’s what we as parents wanted to do. Nothing more, nothing less. Why is it an “agenda,” emeraldkity? It’s not an “agenda” to spoil D rotten, to brag to the neighbors, to show off, to appear wealthy, to make up for time not spent, whatever. It’s simply a gift. Really. That’s all. I think it is more than a little twisted that you seem to think that doing anything more than the bare minimum has to have a nefarious parental agenda.</p>
<p>To NewHope’s matrix:</p>
<p>Me: Got a parental hand-me-down at age 16 (dad got the new car). Parents paid for gas and insurance. Kept that car til college graduation (though only had it on campus during senior year - didn’t need a car otherwise). Received a new car (Audi) for college graduation. H also received a new car (Honda) for college graduation. You know something? Those were TREMENDOUS gifts for which we were grateful. Just like we were able to start out new married life without student loans, we were able to start out without car payments. We were grateful, not “entitled.”</p>
<p>Kids: They borrow / share H’s and my car as available. We pay for gas and insurance.
Nothing set in stone, but I would anticipate buying them basic cars (of the Honda / Toyota variety) for college graduation as well. My father meant well by buying the Audi, but the insurance and repairs were too expensive for a young couple starting out.</p>
<p>Well, I just spent about $20,000 fixing an old car I hardly ever get to drive. I did it because I could and I wanted to have it running again. Made sense to me and I thought the price was great. I really don’t care what anyone else thinks. I like the car.
I’m sure the Eastside Catholic student parking lot has lots of cars better than in the teachers lot. </p>
<p>I think 15 is too young to drive and Washington is dumb for this but that’s the law. I like 17 better.</p>
<p>“My father meant well by buying the Audi, but the insurance and repairs were too expensive for a young couple starting out.”</p>
<p>PizzaGirl - “Truer words” and all that. I maintain DW’s '03 Audi station wagon ‘cause you know I’d rather give $$$ earmarked for education to the kids’ colleges rather than the Audi dealer. $1,600 for installation of new brake pads??? Um, no.</p>
<p>In the words of my father (child of the depression), “these people have more dollars than sense.”</p>
<p>* We could have bought diamond stud earrings for D for $500 at any mall jewelry store. We bought diamond stud earrings that cost $X more from a fine jeweler.It’s simply a gift. Really. That’s all*</p>
<p>And you are advertising this , why?
:rolleyes:</p>
<p>Well, I just spent about $20,000 fixing an old car I hardly ever get to drive. I did it because I could and I wanted to have it running again. Made sense to me and I thought the price was great. I really don’t care what anyone else thinks. I like the car.</p>
<p>THat is a totally different thing cause you aren’t 15, and you don’t even drive it!
it is a hobby ( is it a Jaguar? although I guess those cost even more to get running)</p>
<p>None of you know me. It’s a discussion, emeraldkity. Sheesh. I’m trying to illustrate a point - how can you know that anything other than the bare minimum is a “parental agenda”? Because there’s plenty of spending above the bare minimum here on CC, whether it’s on educational opportunities, travel, coaches, musical instruments, lessons, trips abroad. How do you distinguish between “well, that’s acceptable spending above the bare minimum” versus “that’s excessive and flaunt-y and indicative of poor values”? I suspect it’s related to the onlooker’s budget, personally. Anything I could / would / have spent – acceptable and not indicative of poor values. Anything I can’t / won’t spend – gosh, how flaunty and materialistic. </p>
<p>Assuming the decision is made to get a 16 yo car (and let’s also assume for the sake of argument we have a “good” kid, not a troublemaker, etc.) – what’s the “right” amount of money to spend on a 16 yo’s car, above which spending is indicative of poor values?</p>
<p>I love Warren Buffett’s advice for giving to your kids: Give them enough that they can afford to do anything, but not enough that they can afford to do nothing.</p>
<p>I have no issue with whatever another family wants to spend on a car for their kid to drive. That is their business. In this case it’s the father’s willingness to allow the article to be published and the purchase of a car “built to race” (direct quote from the article) for a 15 yo teenage boy that is what puts his judgment into question for me. Privacy/security concerns alone should have been enough to prevent him from giving the interview.</p>
<p>^^^ I think PizzaGirl has introduced a new and interesting way of looking at the issue. I mean who cares if I spend $2000 or $20000 on a pair of diamond earrings for DW. I might even get a pass buying my 15 year-old those earrings, prom coming up and all that. But what if I gave those same $20000 earrings to my (hypothetical) 6 year-old daughter. “Sure Darlin’ wear them anytime you like.” That would be questionable judgement.</p>
<p>Maybe the issue isn’t the cost of the present, but rather the appropriateness of the gift for the age/maturity of the recipient.</p>