<p>I am beginning to think about letting her go. I am glad to hear that the bands are not going to attract a wild crowd. My husband is leaning in the yes column with boundaries. I thought about sending my 19 yr old son with them but as my H pointed out my son is probably the child who needs the chaperone.
The other girl has already gone to numerous concerts at the Bowl without an adult. This came up last year and we said no and she went with other friends. Many of my D’s friends have been going to concerts at the Bowl unattended for the last few years. We are one of the holdouts.
I don’t really see why the other girl is pushing for an answer. I first thought it was since she needed to buy tickets but it ends up that she won tickets from the radio station. The friend is probably trying to make sure she has someone to go with and if we say no she will ask someone else.
I didn’t attend my first concert till freshman yr in college.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>LOL–I have an older nephew and a younger niece that seem to fit that discription.</p>
<p>Here is a thought if you decide to let her go. Set a time and place that she must be for you to pick her up. Not something uncertain like --15 minutes after the concert—, but "be there at “X.” That way you will have a better chance that the pick up goes off w/o a hitch.</p>
<p>I always reminded my S, when the activity was one where I was a little hesitant to say yes, that he had a cell phone and he would be better off to call me to come get him than hang around if the others he went with were suggesting somethng that he knew I’d not like. I reminded him that crowd stupidity was no excuse in my book.</p>
<p>IS Eddie Haskell girl’s parents doing the transportation? If so, I’d call them and get a feel for how organized and on top of this they are BEFORE I’d say yes to my kid. There was one Mom of a boy in my kid’s group who proclaimed that she was the Mom that the kids thought was the most “cool.” She gave me the shivers. I only let my S do stuff with that boy if I was the parent in charge. It turned out that was a very wise idea with that particular kid/parents.</p>
<p>07 Dad-
Our town is small enough that anything is basically a 15 minute drive. Transportation is one of the boundary issues my H is going to set pre-approval. The other girl lives within walking distance of the venue. I could see the scenario of my D wanting to go to friend earlier in the day and they would want to walk to the concert or take the bus up the street. I am probably okay with that. Not my first choice but it is daylight and it is a major street. Our boundary for after the concert would be that we pick up and probably drop the girl off on our way home. We first talked about the no sleepover the night of the concert but realized it is a Sunday so we don’t have to deal with that.
My D is convinced this girl is not an Eddie Haskell. She doesn’t get why we feel that way. In reality I have no proof other then my gut and she does seem to stay out of trouble.
Regarding cool parents- my kids think we are some of the most over-protective of the bunch. She has several friends whose Mother’s feel it is okay to send a taxi to get the girls across town.</p>
<p>Just an update:</p>
<p>D had remarkably little homework this week, so I relented and took her and two friends to see The Dead. I had been planning to go hang out in Starbuck’s and then come back to pick them up but by the time I got through the parking maze, I thought, ehh, I think I’ll see if the box office has a ticket left when we’re getting the girls’ tickets. </p>
<p>I can say that this was the most fun I have had in years. Didn’t know a lot of the songs, but it was an arena of old hippies, young hippies, kids in dreads, soccer moms, dads in work clothes, with truly some of the most joyful music I have heard in years. The girls had seats slightly elevated to the side and of course to give them their freedom, I sat far away from them. </p>
<p>I would say, if you hesitate to send them, go along to one and get a sense of the scene. This seemed very safe. Some marijuana in the air but overall, I did not see any one out of control and the security were courteous but vigilant. The tickets were about $350 for four which also may have contributed to a more civilized gathering as well as it being a weeknight on a university campus.</p>
<p>It was pretty much all ages, but I saw very few kids under 12.</p>
<p>mom60, as you know I am familiar with the area. I would let her go. Pick your battles with a child that age and this is one I would give in on. I attended lots of Dead and Rolling Stones concerts as a college student. They were crazy but I was not. I knew my values and my own boundaries…psychadelic (spelling?) drugs were never on my to do list. Didn’t matter that everyone else was.
Trust your own daughter and the way you raised her. The bowl in the afternoon? Not an issue worth fighting over.</p>
<p>I’m chiming in a little late, but my D was the Concert Queen (Princess?) in high school. For a while (middle school) her dad would go with her (Green Day!), but as a hs freshman she started attending concerts with friends only. She’s been to Warped Tour every year since freshman year and tons of smaller concerts, too.</p>
<p>My advice is that venue, time, and crowd size matter. Warped Tour kind of scared me at first - large, all-day, crazy looking punk kids - but it turned out okay. (Actually, there was a Parents’ Tent there for over-anxious moms.) If the venue is in an iffy part of town or late at night, go with your gut and say no… but daytime, inside? Sounds good.</p>
<p>In the future - “bigger” bands (say, Fall-Out Boy, Panic at the Disco) that play in larger arenas often have a “Parent’s Room” where adults can actually hang out, watch TV, read, and commiserate with other parents while the concert is in progress. It makes transporation really easy.</p>
<p>Cell phones are your friends. When D was younger (and the concert was long), I made her “check in” with me via cell phone at predetermined periods. Sometimes I really couldn’t hear her because of the band, but at least I knew she was okay. And as someone else already said, we had clearly defined procedures for pick-up after the concert: where, when, etc.</p>
<p>Actually, this is making me wax nostalgic. There were times when the venue wa a little dicey that my H would accompany D and a her friends into the concert - he just had to pretend like he didn’t know them. “Hey, did you see that old dude in the back of the room? What’s up with that?!”</p>
<p>Your daughter’s concert request in S. Barbara sounds like a parent’s dream! That’s the kind of radio station sponsored promo show in a small venue that is easy to say yes to. </p>
<p>I think we said yes to taking the train into an afternoon concert at the Boston half shell on the Charles River when my daughter was about that age.</p>
<p>The one that was tough was a couple years later when she was dying to see, I think it was Linkin Park, on the Ozfest schedule that summer. Big outdoor venue, with bands that would draw a crazy crowd. That was hard to say yes – it took some discussion. What ended up happening was daughter and her friend went, stayed on the periphery to avoid the mosh pit crossfire, saw the band the went to see, and left early.</p>
<p>We did say no to a few venues along the way. The “no’s” are accepted more readily when they are accompanied by some “yes’s”. Take a give that has been dropped in your lap and put a “yes” in the bank on this one!</p>
<p>BTW, I was 14 when I went to my first rock concert. I was travelling on a high school soccer trip, spending the night with the family of a player on the home team. For entertainment, quite a few members of the home team had arranged to get tickets to the “rock concert” in town that night, so the parents dropped us off in front of the Jacksonville Coliseum and agreed on a meeting point after the show. And, off I skipped to see Jimi Hendrix for the first time (who I had never heard of, I thought he was a soul singer like Jerry Butler).</p>
<p>ID - my D had the same tactic when she saw Linkin Park a few years ago (not at Ozfest - but the same kind of crowd.) I think she actually left early from that one, just to avoid any crowd danger.</p>
<p>And oh yeah - avoid the mosh pit! D had a friend who was slightly hurt in one; nothing major, but it served as a great warning for any mosh-pondering on D’s part.</p>
<p>ID–man could Jimi play! Who else was on the bill?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>It was 1968, right after *Axis Bold as Love *had been released. Cat Mother and the All-Night Newsboys was the opening act on that tour.</p>
<p>I saw him again in July 1970 at the Atlanta Pop Festival with a lineup that also included the Allman Brothers Band (with Duane), Mountain, Ten Years After, Johnny Winter, and so on and so forth. My parents should not have let me go to that one. I don’t know what they were thinking. As it turned out, it was far too hot to get in much trouble. We fried eggs on the roof of the van for breakfast.</p>
<p>I also did road trips (several hours each way) to Led Zeppelin in Macon and The Who in Atlanta that summer.</p>
<p>I started letting the kids go when they were 16 to individual concerts but said no to my 16 yr. old who wanted to go to a 3-day deal last summer that his older brother went to. My H and I did go see Phish a couple years ago and when the lights came on I think we were the only people with gray hair. I decided that it was it for concerts for me.</p>
<p>We are probably going to let her go. We are finding the process interesting. I don’t know how much she really wants to go. She is not lobbying us hard. She seems to text my husband early in the morning after she gets to school asking for a decision. By the time I pick her up at 3 she does not even mention the concert. We figure that the girl is asking her each morning did your parents decide yet.
This week is the county fair and the carnival. I hate the fair. Last year the girls went alone and they are planning to do the same this year. Our plan is drop them off when the fair opens at 5 and pick them up around 8. Before the rougher crowd comes out.</p>
<p>I never really had a desire to go to concerts. I went last summer to Spirit West Coast, which is a huge Christian music festival in Monterey, CA.</p>
<p>But I went with my church group, so my parents had no problem letting me go.</p>
<p>This summer I am going to see No Doubt, Paramore and The Sounds at the Amphitheater in Irvine, CA with a friend of mine. I split the cost 50/50 with my parents and we’re both very responsible, so again, they have no problem.</p>
<p>Of course, I’m also over 18, so it’s sort of a moot point. :)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I told my S that he was always free to use big, mean, unreasonable me as an explanation if friends were pressing him to do something he didn’t want to do. </p>
<p>Perhaps you might gently probe to see if D would be OK if you said no.</p>
<p>My son and I really enjoy modern music. Don’t laugh, but that’s the best way I can describe it. </p>
<p>Anyway, there have recently been concerts coming to town, and unfortunately, he’ll tell me about them the day before or so. But it’s got me wondering, should I go with him, or offer to bring a friend and let them go alone? Terrified if something happens not only to my son, but to a friend’s son. I would feel so terrible!</p>
<p>I’m almost 50 and very overweight, so I don’t think I’d even dance at these rock concerts, which my son would be most appreciative of, but I’m scared to let him go by himself.</p>
<p>We used to beg my dad to let us go to concerts in the sixties, but he always refused. My sisters and I loved music. Gosh, even the Beatles came to our town, and I was 4, but begged daddy to let me go. I still to this day meet people near my age who actually did go and still remember it.</p>
<p>Okay. Enough dating myself. ColdPlay is coming in June, and son loves them, so I have time to think of a game plan. Son does not drive.</p>
<p>Any thoughts?</p>
<p>I know it can be frightening to think of your child having to negotiate new situations.
However- let me share guidelines that so far has worked well for us.</p>
<p>I gave my kids controlled choice, as soon as they were able to have opinions!
Not about everything, but as appropriate, and yes it did make things take longer and sometimes more difficult.
But, they started to learn about logical consequences of their decisions, and I also gained confidence ( as did they) regarding their ability to make good choices.</p>
<p>A parents job is to transfer skills to their kids, and it is much easier to see them off to college/into the world, if you have seen them make good choices before they go.</p>
<p>Attending a concert as a teenager, is a relatively controlled situation that allows them to practice independence before they go off to school in one or two years.</p>
<p>I still really enjoy going to concerts- any kind almost- although I did miss a free Blue Scholars performance last night for Earth Day volunteersa cause I was just too tired from working all weekend.
I never got to see Jimi- it is sad he played at D’s high school to a poor response ( before he went to Europe where he recieved greater appreciation)</p>
<p>But I have had many opportunities to hear the 2nd best guitarist ( and one of the friendliest guys I have ever met) to come out of Seattle- who often does Hendrix tributes and is going to play the Star Spangled Banner @ the Mariners season opener.</p>
<p>[Special</a> Group Tickets - Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation of America | Mariners.com: Tickets<a href=“and%20search%20youtube%20for%20some%20great%20versions-%20put%20in%20Mike%20McCready-%20Tractor%20and%20Shadow-”>/url</a></p>
<p>I really like the version they did at the Pike Place market birthday celebration a few years back with John Roderick from the Long Winters on vocals
</p>
<p>If your child doesn’t care if you go to concerts with them- I think that would be great.
I went to " the final show of PUSA" * they didn’t stay broken up for very long* 
with my daughter and a friend about 12 years ago , they were about 14- I had a blast- I think they were a little nonplused cause it looks like I was moshing, but I am short and I was really just trying to see!</p>