<p>At what age would you let your teen go to a concert with friends versus with an adult? I am talking rock not classical.
My almost 15 yr old has asked to go to a concert that starts at 3 pm. It is at a mid sized outdoor venue in our small city. It appears to be an event with quite a few bands playing. I don’t know how late it will go but I do know the venue has noise restrictions that ban them going to late. Her friend has two tickets and would like to take my D for her birthday present. In the past we have always said No unless a grown up is going.
I don’t really have any strong argument for saying No. I don’t especially care for the friend but they have never been in any trouble together. I think she is a bit of a Eddie Haskell type but it is just my gut instinct not based on any facts.
Am I being over protective?</p>
<p>Is there alcohol available at the venue?</p>
<p>My D went to her first concert unaccompanied by an adult during her freshman year in HS. It was at night in a city, so I was filled with trepidation. However, she was going with a couple of other girls and we worked out a carpooling arrangement with another family. I gave her a lecture about what to watch out for and made sure that she had a phone with her. It was fine.</p>
<p>Outdoors in the afternoon, in a small city where there will probably be lots of people around who recognize her? I woudn’t worry too much. Just as long as both girls know:
- They are required to stick together.
- No offers of transportation accepted from anyone but the previously designated drivers.
- Don’t accept food, drink, or any other substances from anybody.</p>
<p>Over protective??? Not to seriously check it out before deciding.</p>
<p>I’d say it is a toss-up. 15 is old enough to know trouble when they see it but not all 15 yo’s will then stay clear of it.</p>
<p>For his 15th BD, I took my S and two guy friends to Lollapalooza '03 in Dallas with Jane’s Addiction, Audioslave, Incubus, Queens of the Stone Age, A Perfect Circle, Jurassic 5, The Donnas, The Distillers, Rooney. I stayed the whole time. </p>
<p>Somewhat the same deal–started in early afternoon and was an all day thing. </p>
<p>Sufficient police present, but they were only there for crowd control duty not to stop any “partying.” I didn’t see anything directly dangerous to me or the boys, but there was plenty of unclothed skin and substance use.</p>
<p>All and all, I was happy I attended. After that time, I didn’t have a problem with letting S attend things w/o me since he behaved and we had several discussions about some of the more edgy stuff that we saw.</p>
<p>What bands are playing? What town? BTW–police attitude will effect a lot of the overall “feel.” IS alcohol allowed to be sold?</p>
<p>Bottom line test (to me) is: are you going to be highly worried every minute they are there if unaccompanied? If so, offer to be the adult.</p>
<p>If it was Lollapalooza or Coachella the answer would be absolutely no unless with her Dad. This venue holds 4500 people. They do sell alcohol, you may not bring in backpacks or coolers. The only outside food or beverage allowed is a factory sealed water bottle below 1.5 L. So it would be hard to sneak something in. They could be dropped off at the bottom of the hill. The venue is up a long hill driveway and picked up at the bottom. I am sure they will know many other people at the concert.
Town- Santa Barbara
Bands- Summer Roundup with King Leon. White Lies. Fair and Iration (I have never heard of any of them) Being sponsored by local radio station.
Another option would be to let her see Katy Perry the weekend before at the same venue.
I am still closer to the No column.</p>
<p>my oldest attended a concert with friends- I think she was 12?
The venue is closed now, but was at the forefront of the garage-grunge movement in Seattle ( The Off Ramp)
It was an all ages show, fairly small club and there was good security so I felt pretty comfortable ( until I found out she crowd surfed)</p>
<p>Mom60, in that circumstance I wouldn’t have a problem.
I have seen Kings of Leon, nice Tennessee ministers kids. haven’t heard of the others. Oh! Let me know if Eddie Vedder shows up. Last time I saw him it was in Santa Barbara and they are his protegees.</p>
<p>mom60–Santa Barbara Bowl seems to be a well used legit venue. </p>
<p>BTW–I see that Coachella is coming up. I emailed my now 20-1/2 yo S who may try to get to Cal. for that.</p>
<p>White Lies is a three member ballad type group and Iration is a local reggae band. From the lyrics I heard, seems to be mellow and non-threatening stuff. </p>
<p>Just a guess, but it seems appropriate music. Emeraldkity4 is correct about Kings of Leon.</p>
<p>Before we did Lollapalooza, about 6 months before, I’d taken S + 2 boys to a very small club venue to see Hoobastank. I stayed and kept a very, very close eye on them. All the rules: all three to go in the bathroom at the same time (and wait and leave together), no drinks or anything to eat from anyone else and they knew exactly the location where I stood ALL NIGHT to get my attention if needed. </p>
<p>When it was over (and after the 2 other boys went home the next morning) I asked my S what he thought about the experience and whether he would have been OK w/o me there. He was candid and said that the experience was about all they could handle (the crowd was mostly early 20’s, there was a mosh pit and those of age could and were drinking) and he was glad I had been there. </p>
<p>My point is to ask your D if she really feels ok with doing this w/o an adult. She might surprize you and say she’d rather not go w/o an adult. </p>
<p>IMO–if she shows the slightest hesitation, then she is NOT ready. However, there has to be a first time and this one doesn’t seem to be too edgy. The Eddie Haskell friend does give me pause.</p>
<p>the main thing I would be concerned about frankly would be passing themselves off as much older and giving their phone number ( email?) to guys that are way too old.</p>
<p>I made these decision based on my gut. Whenever I ran into something that he wanted to do with a group of friends that caused concern then I would talk to the other parents. There was almost always the same feeling among the other parents. I remember saying, “Noah’s parents say it’s o.k. for him to go” “Oh yeah, sure!” Then I talk to Noah’s mom and find out she’s not too keen on it either.</p>
<p>My son went to concerts starting freshman year in high school, but they were at our local university’s hall so it was a very controlled environment. No room for crowd surfing or mosh pits. As he got older and wanted to go to concert venues in Chicago, I would drive them up even though they could drive. I think he was 16 before I let him do that though. It’s a tricky thing to know how much to hold on and how much to let go. </p>
<p>Incidentally my son is a huge fan of Kings Of Leon. I think they’re popular on the college circuit. He’s seen them three times. </p>
<p>Good Luck! :)</p>
<p>Terri</p>
<p>Oh I should mention that when my D attended the Off ramp, she attended with two boys, brothers, one a year older- both very good kids that we knew well.</p>
<p>I was a little nervous, but the other mom had really checked out the venue and since it had been so stressful at home, I was happy she had a chance to enjoy herself.
( she probably was more like 13/14) I can’t remember what year it was, she was still in middle school and they went to see Garbage.</p>
<p>I was familiar with Garbage and I admit I was a little jealous.</p>
<p>I’m taking my son and a friend to see Coldplay next month for his 16th birthday. It’s at night and over an hour away so no way I would let him go without me.</p>
<p>mom60, I would probably have let my kids go in your situation. Since it’s local and daytime and not too huge, it sounds fairly safe. Several of my son’s friends have started going to concerts within the last year. Some with parents and some with just friends.</p>
<p>Santa Barbara County Bowl…D went to her first concert there. Santana. She was 16 months old, and had a blast! ;)</p>
<p>I say the Bowl is safe, especially if it starts in the afternoon.</p>
<p>My son started going to concerts at the high school (pretty tightly monitored) as a freshman, and to concerts at places like the JCC or the YMCA a little after that. (Probably at 15.) Mostly other high schoolers playing. We’ve taken him to metal concerts at the Nokia Theater in NYC. It’s a great venue, but there is a lot of crowd surfing up front. There’s alcohol available, but our part of the crowd was sober. I’m not sure when I’d let my son go by himself - not yet!</p>
<p>My parents used to send my now husband then college boyfriend off to concerts with my little brother when he was in high school. At least once they went without me, as I had no interest in Blue Oyster Cult, Kiss or the other music my brother liked back then.</p>
<p>It sounds like a long concert if it starts at 3PM. An adult within range is a good idea if they want to leave early. Like, a parent standing in a designated spot, such as the situation described by an earlier poster. I am sure there will be several such parents.</p>
<p>My D went to see Phish last month. Her friend’s father drove them and went to the show with them and sat with them. It was fine. D said they were the youngest there, most were mid 20s, and much dope smoking and drinking. She had fun and didn’t mind the chaperone.</p>
<p>D asked to go see the Grateful Dead but it was a school night, so I said nope. I also felt that this band would attract older people and drugs. </p>
<p>mom60 – listen to your gut.</p>
<p>I don’t care about Blue Oyster Cult anymore ( I did see them in I think- 1974?)
But love KISS!
I always did like homely guys in makeup 
Alice Cooper was my favorite.
But never cared about the Dead. I did see Bob Weir though at a tribute to Woody Gutherie that was really good.</p>
<p>( most places I have gone to- do not allow crowd surfing anymore), even festivals.</p>
<p>Mom,</p>
<p>I love Kings of Leon and live close to the venue so why don’t I chaperone! Seriously, 15 is the age when I let my daughter go to anything other than Coachella – that she had to take H to. But the SB Bowl, like the Wiltern, Gibson, Forum, Verizon, are all fine venues. And those bands won’t draw a “rough” crowd at all.</p>
<p>Oh crowd surfing isn’t allowed at the Nokia, it just keeps popping up. They have lots of bouncers subduing all the excitement up front.</p>
<p>I think a starting at 3 pm (not headliners coming on at 10 pm) concert in an enclosed venue like this (not a wide open field somewhere) would be okay for kids who have shown themselves to be mature and sensible.</p>
<p>OK, OK–it is off point (sorta) but I survived one of those big, out in a field, no police presence to speak of, multi-day festivals. Anybody attend Monterey (1968), Atlanta (1969) or Woodstock (1969)? </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I had to smile in 2003 when my then turning 15 y.o. S asked (challenged) me while at Lollapolooza “bet ya never seen anything like this Dad!”</p>
<p>BTW–while I was 18 at the Lewisville Festival, my parents had absolutely no idea of what a Pop Festival was. I have to shake my head at how much more we parents “know” about what our kids are wanting to do and wonder if we (as current parents) are better off for it?</p>
<p>No but I did go to the US Festival in 1982. 105 degrees! Boy was it hot! We camped out and heard a bunch of great groups. The Police, The Ramones, The Cars, Fleetwood Mac, Grateful Dead, B-52s, Talking Heads, Santana, The Kinks, Tom Petty, Jerry Jeff Walker, Jimmy Buffet…</p>