<p>My eldest, who is now 28 and living on his own, had quite the messy room. He is a musician and his floor was always covered with sheet music, books and clothes. Stuff was always piled on the desk and dresser and the bed was never made. Food was never an issue as he never ate in his room. He was a great kid, but the state of his room drove me to distraction and we would often fight about it. </p>
<p>One day I read a Dear Abby type column where the mom had written in stating that she and her son had had a discussion about this very topic. The kid said to his mom something to the effect that studies show that every kid needs to rebel about something and since the kid didn’t do drugs, drink alcohol, skip school or stay out late, how about they just agree that his room could be his rebellion and leave it at that. It sure made a lot of sense to me. My son agreed to keep his door closed and do his own laundry, and I agreed to quit nagging. The one thing I asked was that he agree to clean his room when we had company, which wasn’t that often. So the agreement was sealed and peace reigned in the Shennie household. </p>
<p>Once he went off to college he became significantly neater. He came home and lived with us for a year and while he wasn’t great, he was much better than when he was in high school. Hope springs eternal…</p>