<p>We picked our battles. My S was a slob in his room but he picked up after himself around the rest of the house. Since he is upstairs, I told him I was doing him the favor of doing laundry, if he wanted clean clothes, he could carry them up and down the stairs. He did. He just wasn’t the best at putting them away. Stacked them up on the sleeper sofa in his bedroom and continually shuffled them. He also just had “stuff” scattered in his bedroom. His room never smelled funky and we do not allow eating in the bedrooms either (only bottled water could go upstairs). His idea of clean and my idea of clean were two totally different things though. His room didn’t smell, therefore it was clean in his mind.</p>
<p>^^ yes, IMO there is a difference between “stuff dirty” and “dirty dirty” - food, smelly clothes, etc. </p>
<p>I don’t think my kids have ever thought of eating in their rooms. Honestly none of them spent too much time there beyond sleeping, changing, some homework (they usually chose other spots to do homework) and phone calls. </p>
<p>We too pick our battles and I don’t expect perfection but I also think it’s appropriate for them to be responsible for their space to a degree (and not have someone else take care of it for them) . Like my S says, “I can clean my room just fine and like it clean - I just seem to keep it clean!” When he’s home he usually picks it up totally once a week, but true, by day 3 or 4 it looks like tornado-ville!!!</p>