Tell her she is beautiful-- a campaign started by a guy

Parent Cafe
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<p>I can’t like to this because it’s on Facebook, but I thought you might want to pass the word about this. I think it’s wonderful that a guy --17-year-old Torontonian Joshua Amar – thought to do this after (according to the Ryerson University website ) “a conversation with a female friend that turned into a discussion about body image. His friend put herself down and talked about societal pressure to have a so-called perfect body. When Amar tried to reassure her about her appearance, she would not listen.”</p>

<p>I get so tired of seeing posts on CC from guys who want to go to colleges with “hot girls”. This reassures me that not all guys think in such a shallow way.</p>

<p>Here’s what the Facebook event says:</p>

<p>"It has come to my attention that as I grow older, girls get more and more self conscious of themselves. This hurts me, because every girl is beautiful in their own way. They all want to live up to standards that the media has set for them, like being paper thin or double Z breasts. It really breaks my heart to see all of the girls to wallow around and hate who they are and think they aren’t worth something.</p>

<p>I’m making this event so everyone can tell anyone that they think is beautiful, that they are beautiful. Just tell them. They don’t hear it enough, and they want to hear it. Tell anyone; tell your friend, your mother, your sister, your cousin, your dog for all I care. Let’s show girls that we don’t care about the standards that they set for themselves and that we like them the way they are. </p>

<p>Let’s show every girl that they really are beautiful. So tell them, it’ll make their day. </p>

<p>Girls, you ARE beautiful…</p>

<p>It’ll be spanning from Thursday the 11th to Sunday the 14th (aka Valentine’s Day), so boys/ girls, this gives you time to work up the nerve for that special someone.</p>

<p>And if one feels so inclined, spread the love to the males too, because we can be insecure too!</p>

<p>Guys please do not fret too much about this, this event was inspired by my friends that don’t think that they’re enough. Hence why I dedicate this to females. But being a guy myself, I do understand how we can feel self conscious at times too. So yes this can be for males too, i never said it couldn’t. It could be for anyone, even your pet rock for all I care, just spread the love. :D"</p>

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<p>that’s adorable</p>

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<p>seconded. :D</p>

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<p>Fabulous! His mother did something right!</p>

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<p>His dad did something right, too!</p>

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<p>I am part of this on facebook. It made me happy, too. Mothers of daughters, rest assured there are plenty of guys like this at colleges. They are sometimes just a little shy, I think other men who aren’t as thoughtful perhaps feel threatened and make fun of the nice guys. So it takes some effort to find them.</p>

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<p>I want to pass along part of a conversation I had with my son and one of his best friends when they were 16. They had been talking about a girl who had been pursuing my son rather fiercely, and it was clear from the conversation that he didn’t want any kind of romantic involvement with her, although both considered her a friend. </p>

<p>I was feeling sort of bad for the girl. After listening a while (I was driving them somewhere), I asked, “What’s wrong with her? You guys have noticed that she’s really pretty, right?” (I wondered about this, because she was a little awkward, and did not dress herself up, but from an adult perspective it was clear that she had all the elements necessary to be not merely cute, but stunning. I wasn’t certain that the boys knew that’s what classically beautiful women looked like a few months before they finished growing into themselves.)</p>

<p>Their response, jumbled together: “Are you kidding? Of course she’s pretty. She’s probably the prettiest girl we know. But the thing is, EVERY girl we know is pretty. Maybe not THAT pretty, but pretty enough. Every one of them has something really pretty about her. So how they look really isn’t that important; they ALL look good to us!” (And they proceeded to explain why my son was rejecting her advances. He was right.)</p>

<p>Now, I’m not going to pretend that that’s what all 16 year-old boys think, but clearly boys like that exist. They don’t post on CC asking whether X University has hot women. (Actually, very few of the world’s boys do that.)</p>

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<p>Very sweet.</p>

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<p>It’s a sweet idea - but I have conflicting emotions about the need for it in the first place. Tell women they are beautiful because they feel bad about their appearance vs societal standards? I have never felt the need to be beautiful by those standards, and would probably laugh at someone who tried that on me. I don’t wear makeup, color my hair, wear high heels, etc. I have tried to pass the idea on to my daughters, with some success. My D, after a visit to the dermatologist who kept implying she should feel better about herself without acne, declared her self esteem was not dependent on her face. I would much rather someone tell me I am smart than beautiful. In my opinion, we need to raise our kids to be less concerned with appearance.</p>

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<p>I would rather be told that I’m beautiful than smart. I’ve always gotten lots of compliments for brains, but always wanted to be beautiful like the daughter my mom had dreamed of having… Still if given a choice between beauty or brains, I’d chose brains.</p>

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<p>“It’s a sweet idea - but I have conflicting emotions about the need for it in the first place. Tell women they are beautiful because they feel bad about their appearance vs societal standards? I have never felt the need to be beautiful by those standards, and would probably laugh at someone who tried that on me. I don’t wear makeup, color my hair, wear high heels, etc. I have tried to pass the idea on to my daughters, with some success. My D, after a visit to the dermatologist who kept implying she should feel better about herself without acne, declared her self esteem was not dependent on her face. I would much rather someone tell me I am smart than beautiful. In my opinion, we need to raise our kids to be less concerned with appearance…”</p>

<p>From reading what the boy wrote, I get the distinct impression he meant that every woman is beautiful in her own way-- not necessarily by society’s standards.</p>

<p>I don’t wear make up, color my hair, wear high heels, etc, either, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t nice when someone tells me I am beautiful. I already know I am smart, it’s acknowledged all the time, there are millions of ways to be smart. Too many people think there is only one way to be beautiful, the point of Tell Her She’s Beautiful is that that mindset isn’t true.</p>

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<p>re: beauty and brains:
I knew I was smart. I didn’t need anyone to tell me (well, there were external indications: grades, scores, etc). </p>

<p>Beauty in our culture is more subjective and can feel narrowly defined. </p>

<p>Even if the young men involved in the facebook project never say anything to a woman, the fact that they are thinking outside the playboy/sports illustrated swimsuit model/fashion standard boundaries is good for them and the women they know.</p>

<p>edit: twistedkiss said it better!</p>