<p>I am taking my rising senior to visit some colleges soon. Her best friend is coming along, too. They want similar majors, and have similar high school classes and GPA. Maybe the friend’s grades are a little bit stronger. </p>
<p>We will be visiting a school that gives big scholarships for National Merit. My DD is above our state cutoff, but doesn’t tell that to her friends. Some kids at school brag about grades and scores and she doesn’t like that. She doesn’t know her whether her friend is NM. </p>
<p>I think my DD should let the school know she will be NM, but she doesn’t want her friend to know her score. Also, if the friend is not NM that could hurt her feelings. </p>
<p>How can my DD balance between two competing interests of letting the school know about her NM versus the desire for keeping scores private?</p>
<p>She can just ask a general question about merit awards & let the school talk about what they offer for kids with good GPAs as well as NMFs and other distinctions. It may also let your D & her friend know about opportunities that neither know about. Most kids may learn about whom at the school becomes a NMF anyway, as lists are often published in the local newspaper & sometimes other press releases in the fall. Most kids deal OK with the fact that only a few kids from every state are NMF & that is by design from the College Board. My S was NMF but not all that many people knew. My D was NOT a NMF & some of her friends were while others weren’t. Some got merit awards while others didn’t. They all managed to deal with it & preserve their friendships. Kids generally take it all in stride & take their cues from us–if it’s treated as no big deal, mostly they treat it that way as well.</p>
<p>The school will find out your D is a NMF in her application in any case, IF she submits her application & does become one (as most who score high enough & complete the app do). She could also list them as her 1st choice at some point, if & when she is SURE that is where she wants to attend (particularly if they accept her).</p>
<p>I think it’s time your DD needs to be less sensitive. The school will know about it as they are involved in the process and given notification. I think that at some stages, the notification to the student is through the school, or was, at one time. This is a good time to learn how to deal with these things with humility and it’s great that your daughter is aware of other’s perceptions, but it’s going too far to curtail her information and opportunities. There are so many ways that the college app process gets others jealous and hurt and NMF status is really not a big issue. There are other things that are far more sensitive. </p>
<p>If you really want to keep things so private, don’t bring others with you to school visits. You are really setting yourself up to competition in doing that when both kids apply. They are literally placed in the race side by side with you doing this.</p>
<p>“I don’t understand why the assumption is that D needs to tell the school in a “public” way / forum so that friend will hear it.” - Pizzagirl</p>
<p>Pizzagirl is right on this. You do not have to tell anyone your standardized test scores during a college visit. They ask you to fill out information forms sometimes, but they will get you official score report from CB. Her friend won’t see that.</p>
<p>Won’t her high school be announcing it soon enough anyways? Our High School puts it on the web page and recognizes it during Honor Night in the spring. I don’t feel like the students think it is anything to be that jealous of -they are now worried about SAT scores and NMF is based on the your luck at one sitting of the PSAT. I think it matters more to adults than students.</p>
<p>Purplegirlmom, were you assuming that D would raise her hand in a college info session (with her friend sitting next to her) and inform the speaker that she was NM? Because the speakers at college info sessions are not there to take down personal information about any given student.</p>
<p>Just our experience, but DD and another girl from her school were on a visit together. They ended up in an admission meeting together (school did this) and the officer we met with discussed their grades and scores openly in the meeting. DD had already been notified she was in running for school’s tp scholarship, other girl hadn’t even applied yet - this was also was brought up by officer. Awkward could not sufficiently describe the situation.So, even though each girl came expecting to treat their personal info confidentiality, the school made that impossible. </p>
<p>Advice: Make sure they are meeting separately with admissions if you want to keep the NM info confidential.</p>
<p>I think my DD should let the school know she will be NM, but she doesn’t want her friend to know her score. Also, if the friend is not NM that could hurt her feelings.</p>
<p>You could schedule a private meeting with the scholarships dept for each girl, so that each girl will privately tell their info and learn about scholarships that would apply to each of them.</p>
<p>And…if this school awards NMF scholarships to all who make NMF, it isn’t necessary to mention in on this trip unless this school offers some kind of special NMF recruitment.</p>
<p>That said…your D needs to learn how to cope with these situations. If she does become a NMSF in Sept, her friend is going to likely know since many schools announce these things. </p>
<p>Maybe there are friends who get jealous when their friends my NMSF/F, but if they behave badly about it, then they really aren’t friends.</p>
<p>The only time it would make sense to mention this at a college might be in an interview… other than that, you are usually just “one of the herd” (even at a small school), and I don’t think they are taking notes on you. Your D will likely be filling out forms where they are asking her test scores (and she and her friend might be looking over each other’s shoulders, or at least sitting next to each other), so her test scores might very well be revealed to her friend then.</p>
<p>There is no reason you or your D can’t make a phone call before or after your visit to ask the admissions office about merit scholarships and NMF aid. You don’t have to do it while you are there. The websites also do a pretty good job of providing basic info on this, too.</p>
<p>I agree with others, she should tell the school in an interview, but I don’t think it would be appropriate to discuss at an info session or during the tour. Also, won’t this info about your D being National Merit go on her application? The school will see it then, and will take it into account. </p>
<p>If she prefers to not discuss her academic achievements publicly, then that’s fine. College visits and tours are not really appropriate places for those kinds of discussions anyway. College interviews are, if she’s interviewing, but an interview should be private.</p>
<p>You either ask at an interview or go up afterwards and ask the admissions officer that question privately. Or you can call the college directly and ask about what scholarships NMF status confers. I can tell you that my neighbor was not so pleased with the answers from the highly selective schools her daughter wanted. They didn’t give a thing or fig (so they implied with their answers) about NMF status. You get what you can from NMF as they do not supplement the awards at all. I believe NMF has some list that has those colleges that give out money purely on that achievement, and they are also listed in the CC board of automatic merit scholarships, but one has to check each year if there are any changes. Even websites don’t always have the most current information on these things, so it is wise to directly ask admissions and financial aid of the colleges if NMF status gives any automatic or eligibility for some of the college’s scholarships.</p>
<p>No need to ever mention it, IMO. It will be on your application. You can always call the school and ask questions later. Mentioning it in any kind of public setting is just bragging and inappropriate. (I was one of the those “stealth” kids - NMF and top ten graduate. No one suspected until it was announced at the senior award assembly. It was fun to see the looks of surprise on everyone’s face!)</p>
<p>Even if it is on the app, she should ask about it. Not everything is noted on the app and there may be specific scholarships for which she has to apply that she should know. NMF may not be a direct requirement or automatic for the award, but something that a NMF would have a better than average chance to get.</p>
<p>It makes sense to contact the school BEFORE the visit, otherwise, not to bother with the NMF. They can give you more personalized info over the phone or internet applying to your child’s specific qualifications & whether merit + FAid might work for you. </p>
<p>It would be very awkward for the situation mentioned in #8, but that never happened in any of the visits we attended.</p>
<p>OP,
I do not understand question at all. NM status on your D’s application. Why her firend needs to know about details of your D’s application? I am confused. My own D. never discussed any acdemic related ussues with any of her friends. She has just graduated from college. Did not happen in HS, did not happen in UG, although her pre-med friends have all applied to Med. Schools, none knew any details. </p>
<p>There is no need to question/discuss anything at any sessions ouside of application. My own D. has been on full tuition Merit Scholarships (plural because she had about 10 of them to cover full tuition), so? Nobody needs to know, unless you want them too.</p>
<p>If you need to ask the question where others are listening i.e. with her friend, I would frame it very generically, “What type of national merit scholarships do you offer and what does one need to do if they become eligible?”</p>
<p>Also, when you are notified about National Merit Semi Final Status (you will not know finalist status officially till end January 2012), you can start notifying colleges. All she has to tell her friend is that “They do not make announcements till later on, I just asked in case I qualify”.</p>
<p>i’d be more focused on gpa and SAT. National Merit Scholar from commended to finalist doesn’t mean much if your GPA and SAT isn’t good. And you might be surprised how many kids score well on their psat and then way less on their SAT. I know one kid who was a NM finalist and thought she was in for sure at at top 25 school for an 15k NM scholarship, but got rejected because of her other stats. YOU got to get in first.</p>
<p>But if she has a high SAT and gpa then sure, brag about the NM to colleges, this is the only time in your life that it counts!</p>
<p>I am back from school visit with my DD and her friend. The info session never mentioned NM scholarships, and my DD didn’t want to ask in front of her friend. </p>
<p>My DD asked by email to the admissions office, but they just sent back generic email reply without specific information. It told her to read web page, but that only lists possible scholarships not chances of getting one. My DD will make phone call to an admissions advisor. I want to know if scholarship is guaranteed for NM, or only maybe she can get it.</p>