<p>I’m a 2nd year college student, and after a year of having trouble making friends and feeling lonely, I finally decided to go to the counseling center and get help. I’ve been visiting there regularly for about 6 months now, and for the past few months I’ve been taking anti-anxiety/depression medication. Fortunately, I think the help has really helped me be happier and socialize more.</p>
<p>The problem I have is that I’ve never told anyone about what I’ve gone through or the fact that I’m on medication, and I don’t know how to broach the issue with my parents. I feel like there’s not much they can do to help me, and it would just worry them, so telling them doesn’t benefit anyone. I also don’t want them to blame themselves for anything, as I think my mom might be prone to doing. Since it’s been some time since I started with the medication, I’m also worried that they might be upset that I didn’t tell them sooner. The longer I wait the more worried I am about that.</p>
<p>The other problem is that in the summer we’re going to go on vacation, and there’s a chance I might live at home next year. I’m not sure how I would be able to continue taking medication without them finding out, particularly when we’re traveling. I really don’t want them to find out before I tell them, so I guess I’ll eventually have to let them know.</p>
<p>Any advice would be truly appreciated.</p>
<p>As a parent, my main wish in life is for my children to be happy. If it takes medication and therapy to make them happy, then I think I would be glad that they are getting the help they need. As a mother, I would probably wonder if I could have done anything to cause unhappiness, but I still think I would be relieved that they were being treated. I think you will feel better after you tell them. Keeping a secret like that probably hurts you more than it will them. You might ask a counselor for the right words to say. I’m sure the counselor has dealt with this before.</p>
<p>When I was in college, I started taking birth control pills. When I was home for Christmas and summer break, I was terrified that my mother would find out. Looking back on it years later and learning about all the unwed pregnancies in my family (which no one ever talked about), I think my mother would have been relieved to know I was taking precaution. I don’t know if she ever found out about it or not–she never said so if she did.</p>
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<p>First, good for you for getting the help you need. I would be proud that you’re taking care of yourself.
It’s only natural for parents to wonder if there was anything they could have done to improve the lives of their kids, their happiness, etc. But don’t let that keep you from being honest with them about the situation. You can tell them that the pressures of college and the social scene may have been more than you anticipated, and that it has nothing to do with them. And emphasize how much better you feel- that will calm any fears they may have.<br>
If they are upset that you didn’t tell them sooner, you can just say you were afraid that it would worry them. It’s the truth, and they should understand.
Good luck- you will feel better once they know. You don’t need to keep this a secret from your folks. They will want to be there for you.</p>
<p>Well, only you know your parents and how they will react. But it does sound like you will have to tell them. Hopefully they will be supportive. I had a sibling who apparently had several years of therapy and medication, and didn’t breathe a word to any of us. I wish he had, I feel like we could have provided more family support if we had known what he was going through. </p>
<p>I think you are under no obligation to share everything with them that you have told your therapist (and in fact, that might not be such a great idea, depending on what those things are). Like MusicMom says, you might discuss what/how to tell them with your therapist, and even role play it a little bit (as they may very well quiz you for details).</p>
<p>You don’t have to tell them anything. </p>
<p>I don’t see why they would find out if you lived at home or traveled with them. Can’t you have some kind of personal travel bag to store the meds in? And, when you’re at home, isn’t there a private place you can store stuff without prying eyes? </p>
<p>I’m not saying that you have to be secretive, but I can understand not wanting to share with parents who might “blame” themselves…or perhaps worse…tell other relatives/aunts/sisters/grandmothers/etc.</p>
<p>Might depend on what “living at home” means. If OP is not going to be able to go to her college health service for treatment and inexpensive meds, her parents are likely to find out if she needs to use their health insurance for services.</p>
<p>Seems to me that unless parents/family will be judgemental (and some would be, I am sure), there is something to be said for sharing this info. Like I said, wish my sib had shared his… Maybe a question to discuss with a counselor, whether it would be a good idea or not.</p>
<p>The reason I think you should tell them is simply because it is causing you anxiety and worry. Once you tell them, regardless of their reaction, you won’t have to worry about it being a secret any more. The longer you wait, the more your worry will pile up. It is like having a splinter in your finger.</p>
<p>I just want to add that if I were your parent I’d be terrifically proud of you. What you’ve been dealing with must have really painful and difficult but you’ve dealt with it constructively and you’ve done it on your own. I think that’s quite an accomplishment. If I were your parent I’d want to know, because even though I would worry some, I think even more than that I’d be pleased that you have a huge capacity to deal with your own problems. Some people can never do that.</p>
<p>Thanks for the responses.</p>
<p>This probably is something I should discuss with a counselor, and there’s a support group I attend that would probably have some interesting ideas as well. The relief of telling them is something to consider. I hadn’t really worried about it, but as I’m getting closer to the summer I’m thinking about it more.</p>
<p>For what it’s worth, the main thing I struggle with is social anxiety, and having to explain my feelings to other people is one of the main things I struggle with. I feel like a lot of my insecurities are really stupid, and oddly that makes it harder to explain them to other people and have them reassure me.</p>
<p>No reason not to discuss this with your group and with your counselor. That’s the best place for you to get some feedback.</p>
<p>As for taking responsibility for yourself. I’m impressed.</p>
<p>You have certainly shown yourself to be an adult.</p>
<p>That’s great that you realized you had problems and found help for it. Your parents probably would be just fine with that… especially if they have read about the many tough situations for other college students today. </p>
<p>If you are using your family medical insurance card for prescriptions, they may already know and could be waiting for you to bring it up.</p>