The first group text came after 8pm on Monday. By noon on Tuesday, I had 2 phone calls and one lengthy voicemail. Along with the group texts, which aren’t my favorite things. And yes I was weighing my options. Gathering with a group of elderly friends is fine and I will do it, but honestly if there’s a nice crowd, I will bow out sometimes.
I’ve had the issue of constantly texting with someone that they talk to all the time while we are out to lunch. That’s rude and I probably won’t make plans with you again.
This grandson in law isn’t on his phone all the time. It was kinda out of character. I gave him a pass because it was Christmas Day and he was away from his family. And it didn’t sound like it a constant text stream, but a one off.
I’m ok with the occasional text, sometimes you need to answer. Or want to answer so you won’t forget. The constant texting, that’s a pain.
As far as answering calls while talking to someone else, my daughter is guilty of that. My sister did that all the time also. Mostly because her husband wouldn’t stop calling until she answered. That was annoying.
My daughter on the other hand, was getting calls from doctors and insurance and places she needed to answer. She can call me back.
If I am out to lunch or meeting with someone and get a text I often will see it on my watch first and that will prompt me if I need to check my phone.
Keep in mind that sometimes people DO have texts that are important to attend to - for instance, a friend has a husband with lots of health issues that she leaves alone to meet me…if he’s texting she will want to attend to the text. If I have a text I need to attend to while meeting with someone I usually will apologize and just say “sorry, all is ok, but I need to respond to this text”.
I admit I like my phone. 90% of the time it is nearby and I attend to it. And not in a terrible way most of the time, but feel I should be responsive. But that’s on me and I don’t have that expectation for others.
If the original tester wanted answers ASAP, she should have said that in original text message. Sometimes you are trying to set a number for reservation or whatever, and that’s fine. If I sent a text like that and all but maybe one person had responded, I would likely send a personal (not group) text to the one saying whatever… possibly “I’m going to count you in for reservation, but please let me know either way so I can give updated number to restaurant.”
I try not to text or answer calls when I’m engaged with someone else, but sometimes I will warn people that, for example, “if my son contacts me I need to respond.”
There is one person in my family that I tell if she picks up her phone during a meal out she’s buying her own dinner. Otherwise it would be non-stop.
Lately my daughter is not answering texts from any of us, period. She doesn’t respond until I send something like, “Are you OK?” I need to ask her what’s up with that.
I have the same thing recently with my youngest! I finally asked her to simply acknowledge the text at a minimum (with a thumbs up) she can respond at her leisure (if there’s a time pressure I usually just call or state it in the text). She said why? Are you worried about what I’m doing? I said no you can do what you want, I’d just like to know you’re alive while you’re do it and not lying facedown in a ditch somewhere. She’s been a bit better since then.
I generally feel like you have at least 24 hours to respond to it, unless there is a good reason for sooner (need to make reservations/buy tickets/etc). However, I will generally respond at the time so I don’t forget to, even if it’s just to say I am a maybe and will get back to them. I would be annoyed by the two phone calls so soon. The fact of a voice mail doesn’t bother me at all, and I don’t understand why that makes it worse. But I am a voice mail user.
Answering texts during a conversation - again it depends. As a general rule - I find it rude. If I (or my conversation partner) is waiting on a specific text or needs to be alert for one, usually one of us will say ahead of time. For the grandson and grandma - if this is their one and only short conversation of the day, it probably should have waited. If this grandma is the sort to sit there and drone on for extended periods of time (like my mil) then yes answer a specific text. But if he has a lot of texting to do, he should probably excuse himself.
The older I get, or maybe the more introverted (happy being alone) I become….the more I find texting from anyone besides very close friends (three) and immediate family members annoying.
Don’t get me started on VM’s. No need for them.
IMO, please send me a brief direct text instead. I don’t want to hear rambling, etc.
I have waited (or simply forgotten) to reply to texts that have no need for immediate response for as long as a week. In part, to let the person know that is how I view their text…something I’ll reply to but at my leisure. Do NOT call me and push me bc I definitely wont answer that either.
And how about door bell ringing?! Topic of another thread me thinks!
ETA: I should clarify that texting is the lesser of the three evils!! (I’d much prefer a (short) text than an email, or worst of all, a phone call.
I was busy, it was not convenient to answer. I sent the call right to voicemail. When that happens to me, I figure the caller was busy. I wouldn’t call back. It was not important that she knew if I was showing up to a casual get together a week in advance.
I do admit that my dislike of the daughter plays into my annoyance.
In our circle of friends we haven’t had issues with text etiquette. We don’t look at our phones much when we’re with each other. So if we’re hanging out and someone fires off a text it’s no big deal and is usually accompanied with a quick apology.
There’s one exception: one friend is glued to his phone. He has actual OCD and it’s a struggle for him to physically put it down. Most of us are professors. But this guy gives his phone number to a lot of his current students and texts with them a lot. It drives the rest of us nuts (we never text with students). We roast him about it constantly. We have mostly shamed him into behaving better when he’s hanging out with others.
I don’t like feeling obligated to answer texts right away. But one of my friends / coworkers has extreme anxiety and I go out of my way to answer those texts ASAP because it means a lot to that person.
My brother dictates his texts. It was disconcerting during time recently spent with him when you realize he’s not talking to you; he’s talking to his phone.
My family, including my mom, only text me during work days, and only if it’s important. If they want to chit chat via text then it’s for after hours.
I dislike group chat because there are some people who like to over share. The only time I think group chat is fine with me is when we are traveling together, e.g. we had 19 people on a family trip this December, and group chat was useful to keep us informed where/when to meet up. But as soon as we came home, we stopped texting.
Actually, that’s a privacy setting on your end. It frustrates me immensely that DS has his turned off and he is the type that neither responds nor checks his phone regularly. So I never have any idea if he got my message (like, give your sister a ride from school please!)
He is also the type that asks a question than immediately puts the phone in his pocket, so you ask a follow up question (mid conversation) and get crickets.
Agree that a text and two calls is a LOT. I’d need to check schedules, too.
I actually don’t text a lot. We do video calls with the guys. S2 has been contacting me just about every day since the war started just as proof of life. Folks know that if he calls or texts, I’m taking it on the spot.
If we text S1, we can count on not more than a three word sentence. OTOH, he’ll video chat for an hour. I meet them where they are.
I’m not terribly prompt about texts. Would rather talk without a paper trail, esp with the confidential stuff I deal with these days.
