We have some friends we’ve reconnected with out of state and just saw them again after a few years. We all went out to eat at an expensive restaurant, and they picked up the bill. I think it was probably about $500 before tip. They did the ordering, etc. of course we argued about that fir awhile, but then at some point have to grateful aquiesce or it becomes uncomfortable. We let it be known it is our treat next time we are in town, but that will probably be 2 or 3 years.
When we met at their house for a drink before dinner, we took 3 bottles of specialty vodkas totaling about $90.
I feel we need to send something as a thank you, but not sure what. At first I thought a Gift basket but DH doesn’t like that idea. I was thinking about $100. Do you think that’s too extravagant to spend, since we already bought the alcohol gift. We thought of a fancy wine opener, but those don’t seem to be that interesting.
So, I’m just a loss, and hope you can help. Or do you think a card is all I need to send?
Sometimes (!!!) these things can turn into score keeping & a gift arms race until no one is having fun.
I think a thank you card is fine, taking time to write out something personal and lovely. It was probably their pleasure to treat you to dinner, just as they said! If you have any good pictures from the get together, perhaps print them out and enclose with the card.
If you still feel pressure to reciprocate with some sort of gift, perhaps wait and send a food or beverage gift for Thanksgiving or for the December holidays.
Agree with above. You already brought the vodka. No need for another gift. Just write a heartfelt note letting them know how much you appreciate the dinner and that you enjoyed their company.
Sometimes we just have to graciously acknowledge someone else’s kindness and generosity without making it monetarily even.
@conmama - this is one of those potentially awkward social situations. I’d use what I know about the friends to decide what to do beyond a thank you note (would definitely send one). You brought a gift, intend to reciprocate and they did the ordering, leaving no possibility that you over-stepped their expectations for the meal. In general, sending an additional gift may complicate the give and take of the relationship. Perhaps if a photo of the 4 of you was taken that evening, you could send it along with the note.
I agree a card is all that is necessary. If you want to go further my friend recently sent me flowers from Farmgirlflowers out of San Francisco. They were lovely and much appreciated.
I know we can’t help it, but sometimes “keeping score” is more difficult than it’s worth. I agree with others - a thank you note is all that’s needed. Maybe in a couple years you will have the opportunity to reciprocate, and I’m sure you will. That’s all that’s needed.
It may be your gift of vodka prior to dinner is what made them decide to pick up the bill - sort of a thanks to you for the house gift as well as the company at dinner. They may have felt it was awkward to split the bill when you had already spend a bill (nearly $100) on the vodka.
I agree - nothing more than a note saying how nice it was to see them again.
Thank everyone! Discussed with DH and we will just send a heartfelt card. So hard to know what to do in these situations. Only had our dinner paid for in a business setting. Not used to people being this generous.
Agree with the card. Also, might put together a local gift box for under $100 of interesting items. Or Not.
What I would not do is send it as a Holiday gift for fear that it would become an exchange.
One thing we have done is send 5 local chocolate bars with our thank you card. People like it and find it thoughtful.