<p>I am glad I am not the only one who still has her children write thank-you notes. </p>
<p>If we didn’t have proof that the check was cashed, I was going to have H call and ask if she received the check. The particular child definitely was raised with a bit of entitlement.</p>
<p>D1 received several local and corporate scholarships, and most had a note in the award letter: Please address your letter of appreciation to… She wrote hand written notes to all. One of the scholarships was from a large global corporation, and the letter of apprecitation was to be written to the CEO. She did type that one, but signed it.</p>
<p>I am a stickler for this. The boys don’t even balk at it. They know it’s expected by me and the courteous thing to do. Ds2, 17, just wrote a thank-you for a scholarship that was so long, he abandoned the small thank-you card I’d given him and switched to a larger note card. I wish I had seen what he wrote!!!</p>
<p>The one time I don’t make a big deal of it is kid to kid. Ds was invited to two grad parties this year. Took same gift. After the one that was for a family friend (so we were invited, too), we received a handwritten thank-you. After the party for ds’s friend to which we weren’t invited, he received a thank-you via Facebook. I thought that was fine. What 18yo boy wants to write a thank-you note to a 17yo boy? I cut the kid some slack. ;)</p>
<p>Fallgirl’s mention of scholarship thank you’s reminded me that any scholarships offered through IU’s Kelley School of Business required a thank you be composed by the recipient and forwarded to Kelley, so the school could, in turn, forward it to the funder of the scholarship. No thank you, no scholarship. I thought that requirement was a great idea, in that it forced a timely and well thought out reply on the student’s part. And, hopefully, instilled a proper sense of gratitude in those whom weren’t raised to write notes.</p>
<p>D writes thank you notes. When she was tiny, I wrote them and she used a rubber stamp to sign her name…then fill in the blank, etc. If someone takes the time to give you a gift, you can take a minute or two to write a note. It just doesn’t take that long.</p>
Exactly. I no longer gift all the nieces and nephews at b’days/holidays. The ones that only text the thank you or are too busy are no longer receiving gifts. One time sil wrote a thank you that was supposed to suffice for all of her kids. They were “too busy” to write their own thank-yous, so I became “too busy” to bother giving them anything anymore.</p>
<p>Put me in the thank-you note/call is important camp. I made sure my kids wrote notes when they received gifts for birthdays/holidays. I’m pleased that they’ve continued the practice as adults. </p>
<p>Oldest D has always sent one after a job interview. Younger D is an aspiring actor–don’t think anyone sends thank-you notes after auditions. Hmmm . . . maybe that’s a way to get noticed!!</p>
<p>I think for many young people sending a written thank you just isn’t something they do. It seems to be a practice that’s dying out.</p>
<p>I have given just three grad gifts this year (I don’t have a child who graduated this year, so it’s a “light” year as far as gifts go.) Two of the kids sent sweet handwritten thank you notes in a reasonable period of time. Very nice. The other one ??? It was a small book and an Amazon gift card that I had mailed myself. I’ve not heard at all and it’s been about 6 weeks. I have no idea if it was received or not. Since it’s not a check, I guess I’ll never know. That’s what I find most annoying!</p>
<p>I wish I could say that my kids were good about sending thank you notes on their own…they are not! But they do them under duress; I hope that they are getting to the point that I won’t need to crack the whip to get them done.</p>
<p>My mom always made me write thank you notes after Christmas/birthdays, and I still do. My boyfriend’s parents bring me on their family vacations, they always get a thank you note. I haven’t necessarily sent one after job interviews, primarily because my interviews are at places where they don’t receive mail, but I always send a thank you email if that’s the case. </p>
<p>I’ve even started badgering my boyfriend to send thank you notes when he had in person internship interviews, or when my family sends him gifts. He writes them out in his chicken scratch and sends them off.</p>
<p>I am in the “I tried” camp. Kids were nagged until thank you’s were written. I <em>think</em> my D wrote notes for all of her grad gifts this year. </p>
<p>I sent checks to 2 nieces (one 4 year, one CC graduation). I saw one check was cashed but it was the day after I asked my bro if the card/checks had arrived. The other check was cashed a while later and I got an email thank you. :shrugs: I’l take it. I just wanted to KNOW that they got there, which, when the checks were cashed I did know…but.</p>
<p>This was an on-going problem with bro and SIL. I think he still falls into the Mom does the etiquette lessons/nags about TY notes, and his wife was hit or miss for his family. Always got done for her family though… </p>
<p>I did drop the oldest niece from gifts after she married and after the wedding gift was acknowleged, no other gifts were.</p>
<p>My kids mostly do thank you notes, but we don’t have an extended family to really give them gifts, so it’s mostly about people who have done them a kindness.</p>
<p>My wretched niece has now been married for 10 months and hasn’t sent out thank you notes from her wedding. My brother, who was unable to attend, sent a very generous monetary gift and only has the cancelled check to show for it. Since he was absent due to a serious illness, I really think my niece should have reached out. But no.</p>
<p>Awww . . . Zoosermom . . . a lot of my extended family are just Neanderthals, too. I’ve given up on them. Somehow we are connected genetically but that’s it.</p>
<p>Gsmomma, this is one of those times I would play dumb. I would call the parents of the HS graduate and say that you JUST want to find out if your check got there…do you don’t have to worry about doing a stop payment on it. See if your thank you arrives soon!</p>
<p>Yes, some kids still write thank you notes (usually prompted by parent nagging). I was 3 for 3 from this year’s hs graduations. This year I gave checks plus $10 Cold Stone ice cream gift card - they seemed to like that </p>
<p>My kids took several weeks to get through their hs graduation thank you notes. I remember being really irritated with my son. But a year later a fun loving friend of ours commented on the great, creative v note - DS included the math showing how much Ramen noodle he could purchase with the cash as a poor college student. It had not occurred to me that he was actually thinking out each card, writing different things. For me the big deal is to “get it done and mailed”. </p>
<p>Now that they are in college, I highly encourage thank you notes… but no longer insist,</p>
<p>Thank-you’s are mandatory, in our family. It doesn’t always have to be a handwritten note, but an acknowledgement, in a timely fashion, is expected. My son received a tie from his grandma in the mail for his birthday last week, and my mom called to tell me how great it was to hear from him and that he liked his tie. This means so much to the grandmas, aunts, etc. who go out of their way to buy and send a gift. I can’t imagine not thanking someone for any gift- but the manner of the thank-you may vary, which is acceptable at our house.</p>
<p>My Dd is a writer and actually enjoys sending thank-you notes ( a chance to use her pretty stationery) and is obsessive about sending them. My son writes notes some of the time, but will often make a phone call instead to say thank you. I think the grandmas actually prefer the phone call so they can give more of their input. (" I thought you could wear it with a blue shirt and navy jacket…")
Although I sometimes wonder if my kids appreciate what my DH and I have given them over the years, they certainly seem to show appreciation to those outside of our nuclear family.</p>
<p>Yes, thank you calls are wonderful. Hand written thank you notes are a tradition, but let’s faced it… twas a tradition started long before phones were available.</p>
<p>Hot point alert!! I get touchy about this one. My kids were really well trained…if someone takes the time to come to your party, makes the effort to get a gift, and spends their hard-earned money on you, you’d dang well better know how to show appreciation for all that energy.</p>
<p>H’s family is pathetic…fancy weddings requiring hotel, travel, etc, nice gift and the well educated bride can’t bother to send a couple line thank you? Grrr. Not a one time occurrence there either—every time occurrence, not matter what the festive occasion. I think it’s the ultimate in poor manners. They are not substituting phone calls, texts, emails or anything else either.</p>
<p>It’s just not that difficult, and as others noted, it’s especially meaningful for elderly relatives.</p>
<p>OP here… We did finally receive a thank-you note from the relative- exactly 2 months after her party, and less than 1 week before she left for college. I can imagine that her mom was nagging her all summer to write them before she left for school.</p>
<p>On a brighter note, we attended a party hosted by the proud grandparent of 2 grandsons, who were born 3 weeks apart to their 2 sons and their wives. We bought each of them a small gift, since we had sent a baby shower gift. Both of the mothers sent very nice thank-you notes 1 week after the party.</p>
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