<p>Maybe I am showing my age, but do people write thank you notes anymore? We were invited to a relative’s HS graduation party out of state, but were unable to attend. We sent a rather sizable check and card the week of her party. The party was over 2 months ago. The check was cashed, and we have not receive a thank you of any sort- no note, no email, no Facebook message, no phone call- nothing. When my D received gifts for her graduation, she made a list of the gift givers and sent them all a hand written note within a week of her party, since was going to be working the rest of the summer. All of her friends also sent notes within a reasonable time frame.</p>
<p>Is it asking too much to be thanked for a gift?</p>
<p>Yes people still write them. D’s went out the day of or day after receiving a card - check or no check. I told her that it’s not polite to hold a check and it also isn’t polite to cash it w/o a note. The notes were handwritten (in her chicken scratch, unfortunately) on nice notecards.</p>
<p>Yes, people do write thank you notes. We could not attend neighbor’s D’s HS graduation party as we were out of town. I sent a check and card to her, and upon returning home, her hand written thank you note was in the mail we picked up from the post office.</p>
<p>Yeah, I received a note from my friends son after I sent him a graduation card with a small check. However, some Christmas gifts I sent were never acknowledged, i would have liked to know they arrived</p>
<p>I’m in the same boat. We attended a (distant) cousin’s wedding a few years ago, check cashed, no thank you note. We attended another wedding in April, no thank you note.</p>
<p>I find that there are two distinct types of people: Those that send thank you notes right away and those that don’t acknowledge the gift at all!</p>
<p>Our family is big into writing thank you notes and I get frustrated that not all families think this way. </p>
<p>I have also found the same with memorial gifts, graduation gifts, bar/bat mitzvahs, baby gifts, I can go on and on. It’s hard not to take it personally because you put a lot of thought and effort into the gift (or even a check) and you would somehow like it to be acknowledged!</p>
<p>I just let it go. But it’s not easy! My friends used to comment on how lovely my kids thank you notes were. Sometimes we would get a one line thank you for a gift, but hey it’s better than nothing! It’s sad that in this world of Reality TV that this common courtesy has gone by the wayside like so many other types of manners!</p>
<p>I have found that very few young people understand the gracious gesture that is a handwritten thank you note. Heck, many can’t even manage a quick text or email. It is a skill learned learned in the home and something of greater value than people realize in the workplace as well. Short story-my brother hires interns from a competitive applicant pool each summer to work with him on his trading desk at a major financial institution. He said he is stunned that not only does he never receive a handwritten thank you or email, but interns actually walk out the door on the last day without even saying good bye. However, the one intern who did thank him for the opportunity in a handwritten note, was hired permanently. We had a mother who instilled the importance of showing gratitude.
Social graces matter and show that you are not a selfish and entitled spoiled brat.</p>
<p>No,it is not too much to ask someone to spend a couple of minutes writing a note. Mine do but I have no control over other’s kids. I just got a thank you note from my neice who graduated college. She sent a generic thank you note printed out on a thank you card using her home printer. She did not even sign the card. But, at least she acknowledged the gift.</p>
<p>sent my 24 yo niece great pair of earrings for her birthday,(my 21 yo d helped pick them out at an art festival) then never heard from her, even though she wrote back on a professional networking site several weeks later. recently saw each other while visiting in her state, still no acknowledgment. At that point I seriously assumed she never got it, perhaps was lost in the mail, so I asked her mom, (my sil) she replied, oh yes she got it. sil mentions to niece in front of me, you got myturnnow’s gift didn’t you. Oh yeah, I did. nice earrings…</p>
<p>was at a baby shower of a dear friend’s daughter. whole shower consisted of a meal, then an hour plus of opening 65 guests gifts. following the shower this (normally) lovely young woman says to me, I can’t believe uncle so and so gave me the wrong stroller, why didn’t he get me the stroller I registered for? and went on to say, ugh, what a pain, I have so many thank you’s to write. </p>
<p>I’ve gotten thank-you notes for all the shower and wedding gifts I’ve sent off in the last two years. I don’t get written thank-yous for (family) Christmas and birthday presents, but I do generally get a phone call.</p>
<p>It’s a matter of manners and unfortunately for some manners aren’t instilled as they were in the past. I was the mean mom that wouldn’t allow my kids to use their gifts until they wrote the thank you note for them. I will say that my nephew is not very good about writing thank yous…as I assume more boys may be, but he does always call, text or email…just can’t put pen to paper I guess, ha!</p>
<p>Absolutely not too much to ask. My husband and I taught our daughter from an early age that no gift could be played with/used until a thank you note had been written. We started as soon as she could write with the fill-in-the-blank cards, and she is now the author of some of the most beautiful notes I have ever seen. Her notes are so appreciated by those who receive them–it is such a gracious and well-mannered thing to do.</p>
<p>honestly, I would be fine with a quick text, call or email as a thank you. but it is the complete ignoring of a gift that I think is truly rude.</p>
<p>I made both of my boys write thank you notes for high school grad. gifts. They probably would not have done it if left to their own devices.<br>
My sister sent a check to S2 for his college graduation (from her alma mater) in May.
S2 reported to me that he had sent a “thank you text”. I guess I have to be glad he did that much. </p>
<p>When my kids were growing up, my sister (single/no kids) always sent my kids b-day gifts. I always put a card in their rooms and reminded them to write the thank you note to their aunt. My brother has two D’s. Sis also sent them gifts on b-days. She mentioned to me more than once that she never got a thank you from either of them.<br>
She blamed it on our SIL emphasizing the importance of the thank you note to her daughters. The oldest D recently married and did sent a nice note for the gift I sent.</p>
<p>I was also a nag at home. Our D is excellent with thank you notes. (I hear from relatives, friends just how charming her notes are.) </p>
<p>College S…not so much. And no, Nagging Mom does not consider an email or text acceptable…but have grudgingly admitted it’s better than nothing.</p>
<p>Since nagging is a hard habit to break , I finally realized he needed everything at his fingers: stationery, stamps and a picture of how to address the envelope! (Seriously, how did he make it into college???). When he puts pen to paper, his notes are quite funny and heartfelt.</p>
<p>I’ve noticed even among my friends, thank you notes are becoming rare. But I still send them. I must have some ingrained guilt mechanism that kicks in until I write.</p>
<p>The thing I can’t stand is when you don’t get a thank you note and therefore genuinely don’t know if a gift arrived or not. I sent a rather nice gift to a new baby about 2 months ago and finally got a note on the back of the belated birth announcement a few days ago. I’m not a stickler for etiquette and would have been perfectly happy with an email - I just want to know that the gift was safely delivered before I pay the credit card bill.</p>
<p>We have a rule in our house that thank you notes must be written. </p>
<p>I have received some very lovely and gracious thank you notes from young people, however there are others who never bother. </p>
<p>A family member of mine has endowed a full tuition scholarship at a small LAC for several years. Most of the recipients have written very nice notes/letters of thank you, but some have never written.</p>
<p>My husband is terrible at thank you notes (mostly I do them for him…) but he EXPECTS a hand written thank you note after interviewing potential employees. His reasoning: I don’t have time to teach them manners, and they will be busy enough learning the business. So in his world, no thank you note = no follow-up interview.</p>
<p>Another one in the ‘taught my kids to write thank you notes’ camp. Every year I made them write notes after their birthdays and the holidays. I can’t tell you how excited I was the first time they wrote the notes without my having to remind them. </p>
<p>And yes, they send them after job interviews also. I only wish that employers would be thoughtful in return and let the interviewee know if they are not going to get the job!</p>
<p>my s started his job a week after graduating this May, so when we chatted a couple days into it, I mentioned there was a website to send really easy thank you’s directly to the recipient…(yes a subtle hint/reminder) well, he told me he had already done them and used a similar site. I was pleased to see he had really assimilated the message…he was truly thankful to his family and friends who were so thoughtful to him. honestly, that meant so much to know he was such a grateful young man…</p>
, I finally realized he needed everything at his fingers: stationery, stamps and a picture of how to address the envelope! (Seriously, how did he make it into college???). When he puts pen to paper, his notes are quite funny and heartfelt.</p>