<p>My mom has been gone for 20 years now and I miss her more than ever. </p>
<p>I have been thinking of all the wonderful things she did for me that I appreciate more as I get older. I wish I could thank her again so here goes ( just a few) :</p>
<p>Thanks for forgiving me for all those stupid thoughtless things I did as I grew up.</p>
<p>Thanks for sewing my spouses sisters bridesmaids dresses while you struggled with your cancer. All three of them as you knew they could not afford it.</p>
<p>Thanks for being my role model as you dealt with your cancer…you were my rock as I dealt with mine and were with me in spirit each and every day.</p>
<p>Thanks for all those games of Scrabble after school. It was also fun to watch Merv Griffin and Mike Douglas together when I got home. Just spending time sitting next to each other on the couch.</p>
<p>Thanks for always hearing the bus coming so I never missed it…how could you hear that?</p>
<p>I know that all my thoughtless self absorbed ways were forgiven because I have a daughter and I forgive her for all the same. It’s all just part of growing up.</p>
<p>I have 6 sibs and mom got up at 6am every day and packed all of our lunches (and Dad’s) assembly-line style. She did this for all of us through high school! She had dinner on the table every single night at 5:30. (I can’t manage to do these two simple things, so I look back in awe at mom’s ability to do something consistently year after year after year.) She started a school for the handicapped and was a full-time volunteer for decades. She helped her neighbors, and took in lonely people for holiday dinners. She taught all of us how to cook, iron, sew, do laundry, scrub a toilet/floor, etc. She taught us how to work hard, and care about those in need. She also taught us how to ice skate, build snowmen, swim, ride bikes, and drive. She was always there, always dependable. Always very tough. Oh, I remember all the trips she made to the ER with one kid or another! And she knew when to let go, when to hold her tongue. She never interfered with her adult children, in-laws, or grandchildren and always had good, peaceful relationships.
Mom had a stroke a few years ago and is no longer the mom I always knew. This year she has been seriously ill and is in a nursing home now–this may be her last Mother’s Day. I just called her and she couldn’t say much. Thanks mom, for having us and giving all of us a solid foundation and a wonderful family. We respect and admire you. What a great example you always gave us!</p>
<p>Beautiful posts above. My mom has been gone for six years and I too miss her more than ever. She sounds a lot like the wonderful moms above. It was hard when my mom’s affect changed as she aged. I grieved for my “growing up” mom and again when she passed. I know that I am not as selfless as my mom was for her family but I love my kids fiercely and try my best to nurture a functioning loving family. I think my mom would be proud of the job I am doing as a wife and mother. I love you Mom.</p>
<p>Mine died over 30 years ago- more than half my lifetime. She never met my husband nor was the Grandmother she wanted to be to any of the six my father knows. I was still in residency, she died before I had any funds to give her the things she could never afford. btw- never knew any grandmothers so the concept of mothering past childhood/early adulthood does not exist in my memory. Her “indigestion” turned out to be single vessel heart disease that killed her suddenly- before I met my Cardiologist H.</p>
<p>Today I have gotten the day’s greeting from several other mothers but not my son. He just got back from nearly a month in Europe this weekend and he tends to be oblivious to such events even without being jetlagged. He did remember H’s birthday last week- might have if I didn’t remind him. </p>
<p>Today is also sad for those who wanted to but never got the chance to become mothers. One friend told me her oldest son doesn’t believe in “made up” holidays. I personally think mothers deserve a day- so many do so much unheralded work to keep things going despite the attitudes of kids and the help or lack of it from the father of those kids. I feel good because I did my job well enough to have raised an independent adult who is generally a good person (sometimes at odds with me, sigh).</p>
<p>I’m surprised there are so few tributes to our moms here–(yet the “What I got for Mother’s Day” thread is quite long. )<br>
Anyone else want to mention something special about your mom?</p>
<p>I suppose we are all at odds with our relationship with our mothers. It is all so complicated. It is all so fraught with needs and wants unfulfilled.</p>
<p>All the posts shared above give a taste of the complications of the relationship.It is just so difficult to get ones head around. </p>
<p>Its like when you are standing in the drugstore reading all those moms day cards and quickly find yourself tossing them back with a bit of “yeah…but…” </p>
<p>I know it is complicated because I keep rewriting this post and deleting it and writing it again. And again.</p>
<p>The problem some of us face is we can’t go back and apologize or thank our mothers. </p>
<p>My close friend lost her mom at the tender age of 18 . Her biggest regret is that her mom never got to know her as an adult woman. She just knew her as that 18 yr old daughter that was struggling to find her way and often not very gracefully.</p>
<p>We have had a wonderful many decades with our mom. It’s nice to be able to help her and dad now when we can. She raised all of us mostly on her own, as dad was busy being the major breadwinner. She went back to get a master’s in special ed when the youngest started kindergarten, and worked in special ed until the youngest finished his law degree. She was an uncomplaining inspiration to all of us–never an unkind word. </p>
<p>I know it troubles her that her memory isn’t as sharp as it was, but we still have a lot of wonderful time together and am grateful our kids know her and my dad well, including many memories of their caring and nurturing. Am glad H and I have schedules flexible enough to help them whenever we can and they’re available. It feels wonderful to give back what we can. </p>
<p>My mother has been dead almost two years, and she had Alzheimer’s several years before that. I regret that she missed much in my family’s life that would have given her great joy – my daughter’s post-grad school move to Boston, Mom’s favorite city; my D’s engagement and subsequent wedding (held in Boston). Mom would have been over the moon, and I am so sad we could not share with her those joyful experiences.</p>
<p>D was a first and beloved grandchild, and D’s college graduation ('06) was the last major event I recall my mom really enjoying. That weekend, as Mom traveled and shared hotel rooms with us, I became more aware of the changes she had been covering up. Upon our return from the festivities I arranged for Mom to be evaluated for Alzheimer’s, and things progressed from then.</p>
<p>I did not always appreciate my mom while she was alive. (We were not kindred spirits; my D was more her soulmate.) But now that my D is a newlywed, I particularly appreciate recalling how Mom never gave advice to me regarding my marriage or the raising of our kids. Nor did she ever criticize any member of our family. I would do well to model myself on my mother as a role model for being a non-interfering, yet caring, mother-in-law.</p>
<p>The only thing she ever said, when I made my plans, was, “You have always been sensible, and we (including my Dad, for whom she tended to be the spokesperson ) have no reason to believe that won’t be the case now.” </p>
<p>I probably posted this many years ago. I really liked and respected my mom. I would not have left Boston for FL if not for wanting the parental support for raising my son. They were better than imagined. My mom had been to the gym daily when one day she came home having trouble getting her breath. Cutting the sad story short, she was basically gone in days. My father had a stroke sitting besides her in ICU. That was the end of my life as I knew it. As well as my son’s. Prior to her death, we use to check in every night. 'Do you have time for a chat? Or do you want the Reader’s Digest version?" I miss those daily calls.</p>
<p>In Feb. of 1974, my grandmother (mother’s mother) died.
On May 6, 1974, My Dad;s father died…
On May 17,1974, My Daddy died of a heart attack.<br>
He was 53. I was eleven. My Mom turned 49 four days after he died. </p>
<p>Mom never remarried. My brother was into drugs and my sister had recently come out of the closet. They were older and out on their own but still part of the family. In our small southern town where everybody knew everything, Mom held her head high. We lived off of Mom’s secretary salary and Social Security. She tackled any and everything that needed to be done to keep us going. If she was afraid (and I know she must have been), she never let on to me.<br>
She was the epitome of courage to me. Even after receiving a death sentence diagnosis (pulmonary hypertension), she hardly ever complained and stayed in her home alone til she went to the hospital and passed away. </p>
<p>I still miss her so much. She will always be the strongest person I’ll ever know. </p>
<p>Sax, what a lovely thread and I enjoy what you referred to as “rambling”…</p>
<p>I am grateful to still have my mom, and I thank her for being open minded, and staying up to date on as much as possible, ie. Last year she posted on Facebook, (yes we’re friends on FB) in support of gay marriage, for no other reason than it is the right thing to do. She jumped rope until recently as her regular exercise and has always been very health conscious. She loves my kids in a way that only a grandma can, and as a single mom it’s always been a joy to get to share my kids’ accomplishments with her.</p>
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