<p>My D is a freshman in a northeast college, thousands of miles away from us and was fortunate to receive an invitation to spend her Thanksgiving break at a dorm mates' home in Wilmington, Delaware. Aside from sending some flowers, I would like to send a gift of food such as baked goods, a fruit basket or even a meal. I would appreciate any recommendations of bakeries or restaurants that deliver in the area. Any other suggestions are welcome.</p>
<p>That's a bit much.
Let your d take a modest hostess gift-bouquet of flowers, box candy, special coffee-keep it simple.
You can reciprocate by having your d invite the friend to visit your home in the future.
And since it is HI, expect the invitation to be appreciated.
Your d can handle it.</p>
<p>It's a Hawaii/cultural thing. I can't help it. :)</p>
<p>It's a good thing to be grateful but your d is the guest not you.
She can decide what to bring for her host, maybe talk it over with her friend.
A good life lesson for her and you can show her that you trust her to make a good decision.</p>
<p>I went to college in the same town my aunt & uncle lived in. Freshman year I brought 2-3 friends over for Thanksgiving dinner. I don't think most hosts would expect anything from a freshman. Typically there is so much food, one extra mouth isn't typically noticed. If you really want, a nice centerpiece including candles might be appropriate. I have had good luck with the online companies or you can look up a local florist.</p>
<p>I almost always have at least one student at my house every Thanksgiving. The best ones, the ones that I love inviting back, are the ones that insist on washing dishes.</p>
<p>You live in Hawaii? Not to worry. I can't believe you won't have the chance to reciprocate over some longer vacation.</p>
<p>My favorite 'gift' is a thank you note.</p>
<p>I agree with MaterS!</p>
<p>Also remember as others said- it is your daughter, not you, getting the invitation. She has the link, not you and she needs to send the thank you. Sending flowers via your local shop- teleflora or whatever is a nice gesture, the flowers would come from their local florist and easier for you than your D to do I suspect. I always like flowers on T-day- I often buy a bunch from the local grocery store.</p>
<p>PS- too bad the family members who don't always help that much keep getting asked back... but I guess their presence is the present. I do get help- even when we have company dessert isn't served until the table is cleared and food put away- I supervise loading containers while others bring stuff to the kitchen.</p>
<p>We lead by example -- if this is the daughter's first visit of this type to a non-relative, how would she know what is appropriate or not, if not take the social cues from the mother. Imo asking the host isnt quite done. I imagine it would be somewhat difficult for your daughter to pick out an appropriate gift in an average college town during the time of midterms etc. There are many many online companies that would do the job for you, from William Sonoma to various cookie companies, chocolates etc. Dont go overboard with a full meal since you wont know the make up of the family at the time of the holiday weekend, nor their dietary preferences (beautifully wrapped candy can always be regifted lol). A handwritten note from your daughter within a week of the visit would make her a welcome return guest.</p>
<p>I agree with MaterS too. I'm sure a note would be appreciated ... perhaps with a reciprocal offer "If you're ever out this way ...."</p>
<p>Being from New England, I understand tradition. Yours is a lovely one. But I know East Coast hosts who would be offended if a guest brought FOOD to Thanksgiving Dinner. Not everyone feels this way of course, but a considerable number do.</p>
<p>I agree. If you know the address and names of the hosts, alittle note from you is very nice. My sons do not come home for Thanksgiving but have been invited places. Generally I have not even known the names or addresses of the people, but if I had I would have dropped them a thank you note - mom to mom.</p>
<p>Thanks for your comments. To clarify, my D is not just going for one dinner. She will be a guest at their home for four days or so. I did not say that I wanted to send food for Thanksgiving dinner nor was I saying I was going to do everything I listed. I just wanted to see what options were available. My D intends to do her part (thank you notes, cleaning up, helping out...including the invitation to visit us in Hawaii). Those are no brainers to us. But it is my culture to express my own appreciation beyond a thank you note to a family who is kind enough to take my D in for her first Thanksgiving away from home.</p>
<p>"But it is my culture to express my own appreciation beyond a thank you note to a family who is kind enough to take my D in for her first Thanksgiving away from home."</p>
<p>And it is (East Coast) culture to provide such invitations without condition ... save good behavior of course. Please, permit your daughter's hosts the opportunity to provide hospitality on their terms. (Just my humble suggestion of course, but a fairly reasoned one I think, given my many visits to your islands ... and many years living here.)</p>
<p>^^ Really?? You would show up at a Holiday dinner or party empty handed, with not a bottle of wine or box of chocolates for the hosts? And if its a longer stay a bit more substantial?</p>
<p>^ No, but I wouldn't show up with a roasted turkey or duck l'orange, which are typically prerogatives for the host. (Please read the OP, which talks about a major dinner contribution ... up to and including a whole dinner.) Of course a bottle of reasonably priced wine would be accepted, as would a smallish gift of chocolates. The goal here is "Thank you for inviting me into your home."</p>
<p>Aside from sending some flowers, I would like to send a gift of food such as baked goods, a fruit basket or even a meal. I would appreciate any recommendations of bakeries or restaurants that deliver in the area. Any other suggestions are welcome. --
so this is the original OP post - nowhere does it say that she wants to send a Thanksgiving meal. It seems that she is looking for a hostess gift appropriate for a 4 day visit. The way I read this is she is looking for local providers of the above comestibles, I guess rather than using the national providers on the internet.</p>
<p>"or even a meal"</p>
<p>I disagree that it is up to the kid to show appreciation. The kid is not independent, the kid is still a dependent on the parents' tax return if one wants to be technical. If my kid was thousands of miles away and another family had invited my kid to his/house for a holiday, I would send flowers/wine/dessert/thank-you note. </p>
<p>D1 had a friend from UK stay over our house for a week. Her mother had her bring a scarf for me and she brought some chocolate with her. D1 then visited her in UK and we also sent some presents over too. Now D1 is working and self supporting, she knows it is up to her to be gracious.</p>