<p>Our S, who has a very short Thanksgiving break and attends college thousands of miles from home, has been invited to Thanksgiving Day dinner by a friend whose family lives nearby. I think this dinner may actually be at a grandparent’s or extended family member’s house versus the friend’s immediate family’s house.</p>
<p>What would you suggest for our son to bring – or for us to send – as a gesture of thanks for the thoughtful invitation? (He’s underage so wine is not an option.) Would it be a bad idea to send flowers, since we don’t know what the host plans for a centerpiece, etc.? (And should flowers be sent to the friend’s parents or to the dinner’s host?)</p>
<p>Flowers are never inappropriate! A nice arrangement in colors of the season sound like a great idea–even if they aren’t used as a centerpiece. A note of thanks is really all that is necessary, IMHO, but flowers would certainly be nice. If he’s staying with the parent’s of the friend, that’s where I’d send the flowers. It would be nice for him to write a note to the grandparents/extended relative where he eats TG dinner, but I would think the flowers should go to the place where he is staying for the long weekend. Just my opinion…</p>
<p>He might bring flowers to the house where he is staying, and a food gift to the house where he is having dinner. It could be nice cheeses, smoked salmon, something that could either be served or not depending on what the hosts have planned, or a selection of teas.</p>
<p>I would suggest that anything he brings be something that can last a while–people generally have leftovers at Thanksgiving and you don’t want to add to that. </p>
<p>Some kind of fancy seasoned nuts? Nice chocolates?</p>
<p>I agree that flowers are generally appropriate, but there is the question of where to take them. I would send flowers to the friend’s family and have him take some food with him to the meal itself.</p>
<p>Depending on the length of stay, my kids usually send something to the host family after the stay, and always send a thank you note. I think a box of chocolates or nuts would be very nice for the family where he is having dinner. If you don’t might sending flowers, I think that would be nice for the parents of his friend.</p>
<p>My daughter likes to send something after the visit as she gets to see the home and she has an idea of the family’s taste; but that is a girl thing, my son wouldn’t have a clue!!</p>
<p>I have told me nearby DD that she can invite any friends who are not close to home to come for Tgiving dinner. I would not expect anything, but I would be impressed with the manners of some one who brought something- sparkling cider instead of wine, a fruit or nut or chocolate thing- maybe flowers. Perhaps check the local supermarkets closer to the day and see what fun things they have out</p>
<p>I think that dried fruits, gourmet teas or coffees are also appreciated. I’m reluctant about candy, since many people are watching their sugar intake, particularly around the holidays when they are besieged with sweets.</p>
<p>Flowers or a nice plant are always a great gesture. My S has been bringing flowers or some dessert when he goes to TG dinner over the past 2 years & will likely do it again this year.</p>
<p>My daughter goes to a northeastern college and this is her second year to stay at school over Thanksgiving. I’ve been more than surprised that she has never received an invitation from anyone to dinner. We are from the Midwest and I would invite any student who didn’t have a place to go to my home. (She is a pretty likeable person, who has no problems with social settings or friendships. Went to this school not knowing one person and has adjusted well.) I just find it odd. No need to feel sorry for her. The boyfriend is flying in from the south and one of her two roommates is staying around this year, too.</p>
<p>Glad your D is making plans for Thanksgiving. At USC (where S attends), the Hawaii club puts together a party for those who are around campus for TG. S spends it with a close family friend but I’m glad there are options offered to those who don’t go home. Some of the schools we toured did make a point of mentioning what the campus did for folks who stayed on campus when lots of the rest of the students left for home. I was always surprised & disappointed by schools who closed & locked their housing during breaks–including Spring Break. That forced kids to find somewhere to go & something to do, but seemed very unfair to those living far away & who didn’t know what to do or where to go.</p>