<p>I’ with 1moremom…kids were fine…it was ( and still is ) my oldest sister who has been with me since last Tuesday and is driving me nuts…so much unsolicited advice and criticisms
I have been, up to now the most tolerant person in my extended family who can handle her . She is really bringing me down and I can’t wait until I get to drop her off at the airport tomorrow
It’s no wonder even her own daughters avoid her :(</p>
<p>SIL, you’re kids are almost 23! They do not need to look through the ads and circle the things that they want for Xmas.<br>
Also, you chose their college, their majors, where they would live. Argh! I only hope my kids noticrf</p>
<p>BIL, age 52 and divorced with a DD age 19 (not at the house), said while watching a show I wouldn’t mind having a 24 yo!</p>
<p>Really, what would you talk to her about?</p>
<p>I didn’t say I wanted to talk to her, I just want to tap her (this in front of his 75+ yo parents), because I am tired of having sex with women who have bodies like jello and have emotional baggage.</p>
<p>I wanted to say, don’t you think that is what a 24 yo would think about your body and your life as a divorced dad? </p>
<p>The other duct tape moment was when my BIL and FIL, unzipped their pants after dinner to watch tv. Bullet had to keep squeezing my hand because he knew that disgusts me. I actually left the room and did laundry to avoid looking at them.</p>
<p>^^ugh - BIL sounds like a charmer - surprised he gets to have sex with anyone, jiggly or otherwise.</p>
<p>b&p, you are to be commended. I would not have been able to hold in that retort.</p>
<p>They could at least put a blanket over themselves!</p>
<p>Sometimes, you are left in such shock that you can’t believe you just heard what you heard, so you let it drop and walk away.</p>
<p>I opted to walk away and make gravy for the Turkey.</p>
<p>27 yrs with Bullet and I know when it is best to walk away and bite me tongue. I am actually THANKFUL I still have a tongue!</p>
<p>Here is the classic of all classics, while his DW was 8 mos pregnant with their 2nd child (@10 yrs before the divorce) he stated he would never have a vasectomy because if they died he still would want the chance to have a son to carry on the name. My SIL was pregnant with their 2nd DD and they knew it was a girl. HAPPY THANKSGIVING HONEY!</p>
<p>I didn’t bite my tongue at that time and got attacked because they (BIL and MIL…not FIL or SIL) that it was easy for me to say because I gave birth to 2 boys, our DD was there and not acknowledged in that statement. My FIL went on and jokingly said Pima you need to get pregnant again because you are the only one who has given me grandsons. Imagine how my SILs with 5 girls between them and me with 1 DD felt with that comment? In essence, we all walked away with the fact that our girls are adorable, but because they couldn’t carry the name on they ranked lower. So sad.</p>
<p>My FIL is a great guy, I adore him because he is the most giving man in the world and would sell his left arm for the family, he just has a testerone issue. My FIL really is old school, so I really do give him a pass.</p>
<p>Pass the duct tape…my tongue is sore from my biting it. </p>
<p>A) Do not choose to wander into my kitchen ten minutes before Thanksgiving dinner and stand right in the middle of my largest available counterspace because you were ‘lonely’ downstairs. </p>
<p>B) When asked to move so I can put the damn turkey down, don’t go and sit where you can watch my every move and make ‘funny’ comments. Do you ever notice that nobody else laughs at your jokes? Thank God my D turned on the game and distracted you or you would have wound up wearing that bird. I am not a patient cook at the best of times. </p>
<p>C) I’ve known you for 30 years and still cannot stand to watch you eat. Your fingers do not belong in your plate, and if you dig in your teeth at the table, why do you think it’s okay to pick up food and pass it around with your nasty hands? And could you please chew with your mouth closed? Please? You’ve been eating like a two-year-old for your entire freaking life…and if you continue to talk to my mother like she’s your slave (‘I can’t do this’…you whine…then spend the whole time she’s helping you telling her she’s doing it wrong…) you may not survive another visit here. </p>
<p>At least…thank God…we got another computer so you can’t use mine <em>without</em> asking every fifteen minutes 'cause god forbid you should miss some stupid internet joke that you then send to me! Oh, and don’t touch my mouse after you’ve been sneezing into your hands and shut the damn door when you pee! </p>
<p>Freaking Neanderthals had better manners. </p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Thank you, Novelisto, for opening the door.</p>
<p>A) Your relatives cover their mouths when they sneeze? When I finally asked that one’s mouth was covered I was told “Nothing came out.” C’mon, you were five seventy-five years ago.</p>
<p>B) Is it really more important to see your TV game show than to share Thanksgiving pumpkin cheesecake with your family? (That would be the pumpkin cheesecake I spent two hours baking.)</p>
<p>C) We all know you’re depressed, though you won’t admit it and seek treatment. So, what was the point in telling my DH that you dreamt you were sitting on a bench with the barrel of your service revolver in your mouth?</p>
<p>D) And then you left my poor mother on the train platform while you pushed ahead and made sure to get to your seat.</p>
<p>Probaby should have posted on the “Say It Here . . .” thread. Apologies to all.</p>
<p>^^^ To Letter C: Oh. My. God.</p>
<p>If I didn’t know better you were at my house.</p>
<p>Only things you were missing were:</p>
<ol>
<li>If I am cooking and made a big breakfast from fresh fruit to pancakes to bacon and eggs only 2 hours ago, don’t try to get into my kitchen fridge to get something to tie yourself over. Get out of the way, do you not see the 15 lb turkey I am pulling out of a hot oven to baste?</li>
</ol>
<p>This was the schedule in our home
Breakfast 9-10
Lox
Cream Cheese
Bagels
Boiled Eggs
Scrambled Eggs
Bacon
Sausage
Pancakes
Melon
Juices</p>
<p>12-1
Spinach Dip
Waterchestnuts wrapped in bacon
Tortilla Chips
Salsa</p>
<p>3 Dinner</p>
<p>And back to the breakfast issue, every time you have a cup of coffee, please re-use your old cup instead of getting a new one. If you must get a new one, I have this marvelous invention and it is called a dishwasher, place it in there and not the sink.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Do not wipe down my granite counters with a darn sponge because now I have to come back and clean it 2xs harder from the crap the sponge left behind.</p></li>
<li><p>Please, please, please, stop asking my kids who go to colleges of 30K+ if they know so and so’s grandchild in a different yr group and major just because they go to that school, especially if you don’t know the name of the grandchild.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Don’t than turn to us and say, you remember the grandparents, you met them 3 yrs ago at XYZ.</p>
<p>Novelisto,</p>
<p>I don’t have the teeth thing, but we do have the talking with food in the mouth. Our kids all cover their mouths if they must speak while eating and we realized that it comes from yrs of watching people speak with their mouths full.</p>
<p>I do have the mouth smacking noise, you know where it sounds like their tongue is slapping up against the roof of their mouth!</p>
<p>Seriously, the mouth smacking noise might come from dentures. Seriously.</p>
<p>They don’t have dentures. Seriously, they don’t, that is just the way they eat and that noise was around when they were in their late 40’s. I have been with Bullet for 27 yrs. It is just how they eat.</p>
<p>Ewwwwww . . .</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This is why we will always have a dog. Much cuter than a Roomba, works on carpet AND smooth floors, and is smart enough not to run into people while operating. Now, if we can just get some sort of robot poop scoooper, we’ll be set. :D</p>
<p>It’s when you drop an egg on the floor that you truly appreciate the dog.</p>
<p>Slithey Tove – You want to be a multi-millionaire and have money to burn? Invent that robot poop scooper and I will be the first to stuff a fistful of large-billed cash into your pocket! </p>
<p>Sorry if I was too harsh for the forum…but I’ve been burning up since they got here. They are gone now. He’s just awful. And it isn’t a consequence of his increasing age. He’s always been awful. One of those ‘what the heck does she see in him?’ relationships. Most people lose a certain amount of couth as they age but what the dickens has he got to lose? He’s already at couth minus 12!</p>
<p>B&P – Oh, yes, the ‘dinosaur lifting a foot out of the muddy swamp’ noise? Charming, isn’t it? Never, ever serve peanut butter. Save yourself and just don’t.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Novelisto, OMG. My family member was at your house, too. Between the teeth grinding (audible teeth clicking when eating JELLO, anyone?), chomping, oversalting, overbuttering, chomping, belching and other intestinal delights, I just want to leave the room already.</p>
<p>whew!! My thanksgiving is looking better by the post!!</p>
<p>While I"m on my rant-- Forget grace or a holiday toast, could you at least wait until the hostess (me) sits, before you start chowing down? We weren’t raised this way.</p>