<p>Thank you guys for sharing. I feel so much better for all the anger I have been sitting on. At least Thanksgiving is behind us… I used to love that holiday, but spending time with those impossible relatives has killed that. Next year I am going to a spa…</p>
<p>And to add to the list that all of you have provided - don’t make me bring a dinner to YOUR house and then follow me around snooping over my shoulder for everything I do. Your own cooking is beyond all hope…</p>
<p>Several holidays past -Have any of you ever had a pickled corn beef cooked up like brisket with gravy? Let me tell you, it IS inedible (and you had the nerve to say that it was fine.)</p>
<p>Just an innocent question here: Do relatives behave this way because they’re “just” with family, and they think it’s OK to let it all hang out??</p>
<p>VeryHappy, I think the closer you are to the person the worse the behavior. There is no way that they would dream of doing this to strangers (and most likely not to non relatives). They also would never admit that there was anything wrong with their behavior.</p>
<p>OMG…is the holiday weekend over? No…goes on till Tues. at my house. Let’s see, T-giving dinner was great but one nephew fed his big dog a whole dish of turkey, dressing, and potatoes with a CUP of gravy in the corner of the dining room. I did say, “Save the gravy for the people!” and that didn’t go down well. Both nephews were smashed and one passed out face down on the den floor next to the kitchen. My 81-year-old mother sidled up to me as we were tacking the mountain of dishes and pots and said, in a hostile hiss, “Next year I’m going to the country club!” OK, Mom, you do that. </p>
<p>Friday night, another huge dinner for 15 family and guests. Nephews deep-fry turkey in garage, spill oil on floor, and want to burn it off (garage attached to 90-yr.-old house). Their mom intervenes, nephew is mad, threatens to return to college. </p>
<p>Now it’s Sunday, took D shopping for Christmas clothing presents: new down jacket, googles, wool long undies, dress shoes, tights, expensive makeup. We return, she gets in argument over nothing with her step-D, snarling ensues on both sides. And we have a day and a half yet to go!</p>
<p>What I want to say: AM I THE ONLY ADULT IN THIS HOUSE?</p>
<p>I agree that people somehow behave better when a few friend are added to OUR family gatherings, but with my sister, she doesn’t use duct tape & tends to lose her temper.</p>
<p>So FIL wanted to make his “specialty” dish which was fine. He said it would take 45 min. I got up early to make sure I would be out of his way. Then, he remained sitting until about half an hour before I had planned to serve (many hints dropped and ignored) and then 1.5 hours later he was finally DONE! Blamed my range for being “different”.</p>
<p>His dish (normally great) was awful (he tried a new ingredient - Thanksgiving is always the day for experimentation, right?) and everything else was drying out from over-heating.</p>
<p>Ughh…thankfully, after reading this thread I feel bad complaining. At least no one “released gas” and everyone got along (except when MIL told FIL his dish was awful :-).</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Ahem. . . I could really use some HELP in the kitchen! Where in the hell did you all disappear to?!?!?!?</p></li>
<li><p>So nice of you to call to wish us a Happy Thanksgiving, but don’t you remember what time zone we’re in–and that it is 2AM here?</p></li>
<li><p>After days of shopping and hanging out with friends, Sunday afternoon–when you have to leave for a 9 hr drive back to college–is NOT the time to start wondering if maybe you should check your oil, check your tires, and if your car will make it back safely considering that “funny noise it’s been making the last couple months. . .”</p></li>
<li><p>And now–that you’re (I hope) more than halfway back to school. . .Could you please ANSWER YOUR bleepin’ PHONE–so we’ll know the CAR is OK?!!</p></li>
</ol>
<p>On the good news front…as we are not ‘eat at 1 so we can watch the big game’ people, we started to prepare the turkey at about 1:15. My H opens the bag and pew! The special free-range turkey had gone very, very high indeed. Reeks to heaven. </p>
<p>Quickly marshaling my forces, I get my daughter to call the grocery to get their hours and reserve a new bird, tell my husband to find the receipt, and tippy-toe downstairs to tell Mom we are racing to the store. We do not tell what’s-his-face because he is a drama king. Whenever any little thing goes wrong, it’s Gotterdammerung, the Apocalypse, and the hives all at once. He’s the sort who runs around shouting ‘My whole day is ruined!’ when his toast is a little too dark and starts looking for people to blame. </p>
<p>So anyway, we make it to the store with the ‘we will be closing in ten minutes’ announcement going, grab a new house-brand turkey, get our money back, the bag rips, my husband catches it, we get a new bag, and home again! Dinner was only about 15 minutes late. </p>
<p>We do not tell what’s-his-face until after we are back and the (new) turkey is safely in the oven so he can’t have a hissy over that. Don’t worry…he created other opportunities.</p>
<p>Re: AM I THE ONLY ADULT HERE? query: Yes, you are and that is the problem. Amidst the noise, chaos, and hard work that is Thanksgiving one (at least) person is needed to steady the ship.</p>
<p>I do know that at some time in the future when my (hopefully) great great grand children are celebrating Thanksgiving together with their parents/grand and great grandparents my children will remember us fondly…speak about the sillyness (there was a time when it was just the five of us at the table. My son did something obnoxious and wouldn’t stop. I asked him nicely several times to stop. I finally used my spoon as a catapult and vaulted mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce at him. Shut him up and then… Food fight…the dogs were THRILLED), the gaseous problems, and for the five of us (and previously when my parents were alive) the love around the table.</p>
<p>And as for the rest of them…my father’s favorite saying: Illegitimus non carberundum est. (sorry that I destroyed the latin)…Don’t let the bastards drag you down is the translation. </p>
<p>And we redid the kitchen after the food fight.</p>
<p>1) I don’t want to know how you gained the weight, but you should lose it.</p>
<p>2) Do you ever wash your face? Don’t you care about the zits? And stop scratching them!</p>
<p>3) You shouldn’t act put out that she didn’t respond to you over the holiday weekend when you had weeks to fill out those forms and chose to do so the day before T’giving.</p>
<p>4) Not every piece of crap is a family heirloom.</p>
<p>I have already told my D that if I go senile, she can put me in a home. Until then I promise that if I am a guest somewhere that I don’t also have to prepare the meal, that I will sit quietly and drink my drink, knit and make light repartee. I will also watch football if that is what is done…</p>
<p>My mother has said that if she gets senile, we should push her in front of a truck. I don’t think that’s fair to the truck driver. I told her we’ll put her in a nice home and just tell her it’s a cruise ship. A few straw hats and tropical flowers and she’ll never know the difference. </p>
<p>I have sworn to my husband that when our D has a home of her own, of whatever size, we will not invite ourselves, not bring our dogs (nice dogs, but still!), and never, never stay with her…except in the case of new babies. That’s what hotels are for. The guests come, stay for a while, and then when they get sleepy they go back to the hotel. They do not fall asleep for several hours before ‘bedtime’ on the couch in front of the tv, making it impossible for anyone else to watch, sit, or talk. That’s one reason why we turned an extra room into an extra living/tv room. Trying to have pleasant family time with a large snoring lump drooling on the couch is not the easiest task.</p>
<p>“My friends had the best Thanksgiving idea - they went to Disney World.”</p>
<p>We did this for many years! It used to be a great time to go, the parks were empty and the weather was great. We stopped going a few years ago because it has gotten so crowded it is no longer enjoyable, but it was fun while it lasted!</p>
<p>I had to use the duct tape, because everybody but me thinks the food at the relatives’ house is fabulous. I don’t like any of it, because it’s not traditional Thanksgiving fare. (No mashed potatoes? No rolls? *Plain *sweet potato? *****ake mushroom *gravy?) “This turkey is great!” I said, which was true.</p>
<p>Edited to note: the mushrooms have apparently been censored!</p>