Barflies in Florida years ago used to ride Mopeds, not alligators, because you didn’t need a license to operate a Moped motorscooter after losing drivers license from DUI convictions. State tightened up that rule and you need a license to driver a Moped legally now in Florida.
“Meanwhile Alaska is making jokes about Texas-sized (i.e. small) drinks and other things.”
When I ran my marathon in Alaska eons ago, we saw a sign that said, “Alaska - [[peeing]] off Texas and proud of it!”
Shhhhh… The biggest drinks we ever got were in HI… But the folks just hang loose about it… it is part of HI hospitality… not a competition with anything. 
Love that some of you are creating your own. 
Controlled for religion is this actually true?
I thought the NJ and NY descriptions were hilarious, especially following each other as they did.
We need to make one up for North Dakota who was left out of this party.
Don’t tell our friends in Alaska (some of whom I went to college with) but people here in Texas just don’t pay any attention to Alaska except as a venue for cruises and fishing trips. I’ve never heard anyone peeved that Alaska is larger…or who has much noticed. (Well yes, we are well educated and understand geography, but it’s not a p#%^*}g contest from down here.)
If we go with the original bar group - the girl singing karaoke is Kelly Clarkston. Joined onstage by Lyle Lovett singing the London Homesick Blues. With Jerry Jeff Walker buying a round for the house.
I agree that Pennsylvania is not correct but I can’t think up anything clever at the moment.
One night here in Florida coming home late from a bar, our designated driver ran over something really big on the highway. He yelled out he had just run over an alligator. He turned car around and we went back to get the alligator…it turned out it was a big truck tire tread, not a gator…no gator tail for next morning breakfast for us.
Ah, but lizard, it was certainly worth stopping to check out!
It’s been my general observation that Texans are so self-approving of all things Texas as not to give a rat’s rear end what people in other states think of them, most notably not those in a state as cold and far away as Alaska. What else, other than polar bears, actually lives there anyway?
edit
Pennsylvania is a pair of middle-aged men wearing USA caps arguing about whether it’s soda or pop, hoagie or sub, and whether they should watch football or baseball. They’re drinking Genny Lights, but they really stopped in for a six pack to go.
Well gee, poets heart, I though that was the theme of the thread. Kind of lighthearted fun…
Sorry if I hit any nerves.
Gads! This was great and I sent it on to many young people…know they will laugh.
I think most of it is spot on. My fav was WA. I am Oregon and so see WA acting that way.
My WA friends included!
Oh, while we keep a small umbrella in our car I cannot remember the year that we last used one.
A few nights ago it rained like the Midwest. Everyone just waited it out and saw noone walking the 20 minutes it poured. Yes, most carry or have available gortex type outerwear. It is typically just a drizzle and as all of our clothes are wicking it dries ASAP. :)>- Not even kidding here-- our underwear is wicking. 8->
“I think most of it is spot on. My fav was WA. I am Oregon and so see WA acting that way.
My WA friends included!”
No way, not even close! You think, here in wine country, we just drink coffee? Seriously? Maybe most of the day, but come night time, we have the most delicious wines, for really great deals. People here LOVE tasty, cheap wine. Yeah, we are hard to get to know, but we aren’t rude and yelling at people, we are the politest people ever. Try putting on your blinker on a crowded freeway, and see the cars part for you. Nobody is going to yell at you for not recycling, but they might quietly move your stuff over to the recycling bin. Perhaps you have rather unusual WA friends, cuz I don’t think anyone here from WA agrees with the generalization.
it’s just a joke…
I think people realize that, don’t worry 
However, for something to be a decent joke, you have to have a modicum of truth in there, somewhere. It is much funnier if it is actually accurate.
http://archive.samhsa.gov/data/NSDUH/2k10Results/Web/PDFW/2k10Results.pdf figure 3.2 on page 30. describes alcohol consumption by race/ethnicity in the US. It is not controlled for religion, but what in particular were you thinking of that could explain the differences?
abasket, I’m raising my hand! I grew up playing euchre in Northern Illinois. Can I come, too?