My home state. Unfortunately accurate.
Hey, I went to school in Michigan. My husband was even dorm champ for euchre. Please invited us too, @abasket ! Op, thanks for the chuckle. I thought that many were right on.
The Georgia one is very perceptive and hilariously spot on. I know MANY guys who fit this description.
Georgia will be drinking bud light, wearing a UGA trucker hat, tortoise Costa Del Mar sunglasses with croakies, solid colored Polo shirt, questionably short shorts with a UGA belt, and driving a Z71 with a Browning decal in their rear window (even though he only went hunting twice, in Jr High) and a UGA license plate frame. He went to Valdosta State University, and he works in his dad’s local business.
NY should have another one for upstate, which is very different than the NYC area. It’s too early in the morning for me to be clever and think of something.
I think NJ needs a different one for South Jersey, but it does work for North Jersey.
Ok, after my D gets off to school in August I’ll be hosting a CC euchre party…come wearing your college tshirt and bring food please… 
^I’ll be there, abasket!
Washington is a hipster grilling the bartender about the provenance of the hops in the microbrew, then forgets his pipe on the bar.
I like Washington’s generalizations: coffee, books, hiking, indie films, known for environmental issues, largely irrelevant to the rest of the country tucked up here in our little corner. Yes, we have more (Microsoft, Boeing, Amazon, REI, Costco) but there’s no need to get too many layers.
North Dakota is listed with Minnesota as his obnoxious brother-in-law.
I still think Connecticut should be drinking a “Claude Upton daiquiri” instead of a martini. That would be really top drawer.
I think the stereotypes of the south as overweight rednecks is a little dated.
The people I from Alabama are very socially concious and educated.
Someone mentioned a page or two back that North Dakota is missing. At the age of four, I lived in North Dakota for about six months. So:
Because there are no seats left, North Dakota sits on South Dakota’s lap. He is shirtless but still sweating, since 72 degrees is too warm for him. “What we need in this place is a good, stiff wind,” he says, in between sips of isopropyl alcohol. Pointing at a tree outside, he asks South Dakota, “What’s that?” South Dakota replies, “I don’t know.”
Hilarious and yes, they nailed Michigan. We were all drinking micro brews last week around the campfire and Detroit was brought up to get the goat of our neighbor who is from there and now lives in Chicago. No euchre, that’s a winter thing. Having lived in 5 states they were all pretty accurate but I didn’t get California’s which must have to do with their water shortage. Not a very good one. Hubby from Colorado thought Colorado’s was pretty accurate too.
And in Puerto Rico you are still waiting for your drink because they are on Puerto Rico time, which is a lot like a Mexican minute.
Colorado was wrong, “talking about their last mountaineering trip, with an air of aloofness.” should be: talking about how many 14 teeners they have climbed and how many are left to climb with an air of aloofness.
Colorado has 53 mountains over 14,000 feet (14 teener).
" I think NJ needs a different one for South Jersey, but it does work for North Jersey. "
Just put in any Southern stereotype, maybe have them follow around Alabama. They even put on Southern accents, some of them.
As for “Mexican minute”, I have heard of the same for: Irish, Portuguese, Brazilian, Russian, Polish, etc. etc. etc. It really comes down to certain people you have to give the real time of any activity or meet-up, and others you need to tell them 2 hours earlier.
Nation of Islam followers don’t drink.
I’ve got a couple of revisions:
Iowa is a cute, well-scrubbed country girl with an upbeat personality, sitting between Minnesota and Illinois. She wishes either would give her some attention, but they ignore her. She glances down the bar at her cousin Nebraska, sitting by herself. Iowa comforts herself with the thought that at least she’s not Nebraska.
Massachusetts, when he’s not arguing heatedly with New York about sports, is trying to bend Washington’s ear about how to run the bar. Massachusetts thinks he’s the smartest person in the room. Heck, he knows it, and can prove it with all sorts of tests, measurements, and statistical indicators, but no one seems to care. Washington listens half-attentively when he can, but he’s got a lot of other patrons to keep happy. Washington thinks some of Massachusetts’ ideas are brilliant, others impractical, but for the most part Washington thinks Massachusetts is a blowhard, know-it-all type.
Well, neither do most Muslims of any race–some are Caucasian (white), some are black, some are Asian. Mormons–mostly white–don’t drink. Methodists, historically predominantly white, historically didn’t drink; some still don’t, but some now do. Many Southern Baptists and other white evangelicals are teetotalers, but that’s also true in many historically black Protestant churches.
I’m not convinced you’d find any particular religion causing a systematic skewing of the figures on alcohol consumption by race, and certainly not the Nation of Islam which has an estimated 50,000 followers at most, out of a total black population in the U.S. of about 39 million. So that’s like 00.13% of the nation’s black population, a trivial fraction.
It’s probably still the case among white Americans, however, that on average Protestants consume less alcohol than Catholics. During the Prohibition era, the pro-Prohibition “dries” were overwhelmingly Protestant, while Catholics were overwhelmingly “wet.” Those views carry over to the present day to some extent through certain religious denominations, and regionally. There are still many “dry” counties in the overwhelmingly Protestant Bible Belt in the South, and even among college students, per capita alcohol consumption is lower in the South than in the Northeast and Midwest, areas with larger numbers of Catholics. Not that it keeps the drinkers at SEC schools from having some rip-roaring parties, but there tends to be a higher percentage of teetotalers among the student body at Southern schools. But all those teetotaling white Protestants aren’t enough to keep white Americans on average from consuming more alcohol than other racial/ethnic groups.
Having grown up in upstate NY, we considered NY south of Poughkeepsie part of NJ and wouldn’t really have identified with the NY stereotype. The part about getting in a bar fight with Massholes over sports teams would be accurate, though.
^ Here’s my take on New York, where I lived for a number of years:
New York is the richest guy in the room. He’s also the only one who knows everyone else’s net worth, and he updates those figures daily, if not more frequently. Most of the patrons either owe him money or have invested in his various money-making ventures, or both, which gives him leverage, and in his world, leverage is good. New York’s half-brother, Upstate New York, is a more rustic type who once had a profitable manufacturing business but has since fallen on hard times. They don’t get along too well, but they’re joined at the hip by a common name and (partially) common roots. New York finds Upstate New York a bit of an embarrassment; Upstate New York finds New York brash, domineering, and generally unlikeable. If they were married they’d surely be divorced by now, but since they’re related by blood, there doesn’t seem to be any easy way to sever the relationship.
I’m from New Jersey. #$%^ you.