They are. It’s some form of OCD, IMO. They see the world through the veil of “God forbid something that might someday be useful to someone be tossed.”
It you don’t want to get a dumpster,you could consider something like 1-800-got-junk or whatever those kinds of things are called. We used a service like that in clearing out my mother’s house when she died . My sister also lived there and wanted to move on.
Or even a Bagster from Home Depot.
@rosered55 - yes, hoarders don’t see what we see. My relative hoarder thought anything we threw out was her “good stuff”. It wasn’t. It was styrofoam plates that raw meat comes on. It was 400 yogurt cups. It was foil wrappers from chocolate candies. Thousands and thousands of pieces of junk mail, solicitations, sweepstakes, donation requests. OCD and perfectionism (although it seems counterintuitive) come in to play. Afraid to make a mistake, so they keep everything.
I agree with the others - get a dumpster and get rid of that stuff for your own safety and comfort.
My hoarder sister has told me she sees 1) a future art project. 2) a decorating work in progress.
(1) Outside I see acres of empty shipping containers, milk cartons, empty plastic food packaging, rubber maid storage containers, bubble wrap, old appliances, old bathroom fixtures, decomposing furniture, etc.
(2) Inside I see a house with nothing on the walls or windows or in drawers or closets. Every flat surface, including beds, couches, chairs, tables, kitchen and bathroom counters, are full. Stuff is piled on all floors. Only a couple of rooms have a clear path, which is probably only because she cleaned up for my visit.
It was actually a huge relief to me she doesn’t see what most people see. I can’t fix her but don’t want her unhappy. She seems perfectly happy in her alternate universe.
I vote you get a dumpster and fill it up.
I also support you in getting a dumpster AND in never ever telling him.
Not a word. You are divorced and he has left it behind.
My H is getting better overall. Yet he cannot throw out food that is no longer usable.
We agreed the arugula was too old and he put it back in the refrigerator for me to throw out.
He left a bowl of melon on the counter that we both said we were not going to eat.
Last night I found one rotten peach that had a nat on it in the bowl and all of the good
peaches in the frig. It is bordering ridiculous but then at least he does not serve it over and
over as his mother did which was disgusting and unhealthy.
Apparently there’s a heck of a lot of hoarding out there. It makes those of us who are just kind of messy look really good.
In our state, the electronics go to a recycling center. We live near an official recycle station so I drop them off directly. Today I was able to get rid of a bunch of electronics that I’d been keeping in my basement until I had enough to make a trip. Then I took some dress clothes that I no longer wear to our community resource center (they provide outfits to women in shelters who are looking for work). After that I took a set of good china, crystal we no longer use, 6 glass vases people sent to my FIL’s funeral, and some gently worn clothes to Goodwill. Our Goodwills are quite busy. Not everyone can afford to buy new. Some families do their shopping at Target, but others do theirs at the Goodwill and Salvation Army.
I have found some wonderful serving dishes at Goodwill – two white chip-and-dip kind of plates, a great salad bowl, and a Villroy and Boch small platter. I’m not too proud to buy things there too!
Oh, and a fabulous Brooks Brothers black cableknit turtleneck sweater that’s just my size.
At our Goodwill stuff regularly gets thrown away.
Over the weekend, there were a lot of donations sitting outside on the loading dock. For two days. Employees were there and working, since I dropped off some stuff myself. Then it rained. Those donations then got moved back by the dumpster, but never made it into the store earlier.
I have no idea why a manager didn’t send someone to bring them inside before they got ruined.
“there’s nothing to put in a dumpster.”
My sister puts on a sad face and says “Men and their lumber…”
I honestly don’t know any males that don’t have a “lumber stash” of some sort no matter how small. Otherwise not hoarders. I lived with a pile in my garage for 17 years and I don’t think one stick was used (finally discarded–actually some other male bought it) when we moved. I now have a another stash that is not allowed to move (but at least it’s smaller and confined to a single box). My sister and I finally got my dad to half his supply.
And heaven forbid carpet comes along…
About a year ago, Mr. drove to the dump with his stash of leftover lumber and other buildings materials he had accumulated in the shed for 18 years… it was a revelation of epic proportions. There was literally a ton of crap he tossed. Now he swore that he would never do this to our kids and has been diligently returning every little unused thingy to HD! So far, so good. No crap piling up at House2.
DH didn’t want to get rid of molding that’s been stored in our basement. Neither of us could figure out where it went in our house & he was still unsure about getting rid of it.
Maybe lumber and building supplies to guys are like sewing supplies to women. When you need it you need it.
I think those things – lumber for men and sewing supplies for women – remind us of how organized our parents used to be. My mother had a button bag. I do too.
Thank you! I feel better knowing I’m not alone in this set of circumstances.
Yesterday was garbage day, and last night I almost refilled the trash container. Three large items are waiting outside; I’ll put them in the container the morning of the pick up. (I don’t like to leave the lid open because of bad odors and the possibility that wild animals might visit.)
So … I was the first person to respond to this thread almost four years ago, and I’m pretty sure I haven’t responded since. I’m finally making progress. I had to retire to do it. I’ve peeked in at the thread from time to time for inspiration (thank you all!). It’s a really, really tough job.
I could gripe about my pre-hoarding husband, who is actively making this harder than it needs to be. Or the various hoops you have to jump through NOT to stick all the stuff in a landfill somewhere: some things go to the recycling center, some to the Salvation Army, some to Best Buy, some to the Rescue Mission, etc. No one around here accepts VHS tapes, so I wound up mailing them here: https://www.greendisk.com/gdsite/default.aspx There were lots.
Now to figure out what to do with 3 partial sets of silver-plated flatware from the 1950s (apparently not worth anything and no one else wants to keep them polished, either) and a Necchi sewing machine from the 1940s - in a cabinet, yet - that I begged my MIL not to give me 25 years ago because I don’t sew.
S1 has been home for one week between grad school and a new job across country. After some gentle nudging, he filled two large garbage bags with clothes for donation. Yay! I like it when things going out won’t be replaced with things coming in.
Don’t give up and n the silver plate flatware. My SIL and a few friends are using it (mismatched, from bins of flatwRe at a second-hand store ) to serve their vacation home. Yes, it’s going in the dishwasher and ruining the bit ov silver coating left, but better than shelving it out.