My observation this morning… The projection LCD TV in the exercise room HAS to go!!! It takes up so much space it is not even funny.
Another member mentioned this thread to me after I wrote about decluttering the empty nest. Happy to find you all!
I’ve had a hold at the library for over a month to get the book you speak of, “The Life Changing Magic Of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing”. It’s a best seller, and there were 144 holds on the book ahead of me. Looking forward to reading it.
I’ve read several other books on the subject, one by Dr. Robin Zasio who helps some of the hoarders on that show. Another by Peter Walsh, the guy Oprah had on her show who helped hoarders. We’re not hoarders, but the books are insightful and motivating. We have a large house, and sometimes when life is hectic it’s easiest to stick things in a spare room and forget about them.
Every few years I’ll go through stuff and donate, toss or recycle. Having an empty nest now, I want to declutter even more. This spring I sent a carload to Goodwill, have a few items for sale and placed a heaping pile out for the trash man.
Next on the list is to go through Christmas decorations, keeping what I love and donating what I no longer use… Hubby has outdoor lights he wants to get rid of.
Welcome, @Miller514 !
Thanks, VeryHappy
Swimcat, in reference to how to deal with husband’s stuff: see if he would at least allow you to pack some things in a box or two. Not to throw away but to store. Mark the date on it. After a year or so, whatever’s still in the box, ask if he still wants it. Sometimes a visual thing like that helps another person realize, hey, I haven’t used it in over a year, I don’t need it. I do that with myself as well. Sometimes it takes awhile for new-life-experiences to help me detach from the emotions I have in old-life-experiences stuff.
Also, try just getting rid of your stuff. Pile his in a corner or shelf or box it up and forget about it. You can simply say, that’s your stuff there, I’m not getting rid of it. My husband isn’t much of an organizer, but when he sees things in a pile, he trusts that I’m not getting rid of his stuff. Then at his own pace he will go thru it.
This is why I need to declutter: I bought the same book twice, because I didn’t realize that I had already bought it years ago and it was on the shelf in a closet!
I am doing a happy dance- Mr. B got rid of the horrible, terrible, no good gas tiller! That thing weighs a ton and is a pain in the rear to start. It is amazing what kinf of crap some people would grab when it is offered for free! Kind of like this:
My husband mentioned earlier this spring he thought he might get around to pressure washing then putting clear coat protectant on the privacy fence this year. While he was casually looking for stuff to toss in the basement a few weeks ago, he came across three semi-filled five gallon cans of the protectant, poured them all into one large can and now has more than enough for the job.
OMG, we still have boxes of papers and notebooks from DH’s undergrad. Does not want to get rid of them. OTOH, I am getting pretty ferocious about dumping other stuff in the house. Tonight I am finishing the shredding!
Take the shredding to Office Depot if you have loads. You can wait until it is done so you know for sure. Worth every penny and they run coupons.
2 kitchen garbage bags out of my closet today. Looks rather empty. Only about 20% of the clothes are ones I would wear our in public for work or socializing. The rest are my “cooking clothes” (yes, even with an apron I am that messy but I am really good cook :D), then the workout clothes, the pj’s and robes. I hang everything pretty much. I am happy!
I think I took 60 hangers out of that closet.
Now onto the 2 grocery bags of little things from my car as it is going in to find the rattle and needs to be empty.
Did ask a beloved pj bottom if I could let go–and did. I like this idea.
^^^I came here specifically to post the same article but @latachiever beat me to it!!
I must admit, however, that I disagree with this article celebrating the clutter. Sounds like a cop out to me!
I did just find this gem, however: George Carlin talking about all our “stuff”:
I’m a fan of embracing many things; however, clutter is not going to be one of them. I’ve learned that in keeping simply just about everything, not much feels very special. Several years ago when I did a large purge of unecessary stuff, what remained really meant something to me, to us, and that was a good feeling.
A friend died back on January, and we finally cleaned out his house in May. He had so much stuff, it really encouraged me to try and get better about clutter. He had National Geographics back to the 1970s, a tent he hadn’t used in 20 or more years, a carpet that sat IN his stairwell, that he traversed multiple times every day, for probably 10 years, and an attic full of junk, that must have been very hard to get up there, because it was painful getting it down. We filled a 30 yard dumpster in about 3 hours. That’s LOTs of bags.
D called and said she and two friends (both in another state) have embraced the Japanese art concept. She got rid of 5 kitchen garbage bags. Did need to keep some clothes just to have something to wear. Felt good but she really needs to buy some clothes. They are early 30’s.
I think I moved so often at that point in my life that I never had much anyway.
H and I have been discussing the idea of renting a unit if we move in the next year or so. I am against it but he worries that the kids are just now at the point of creating homes–actually, they are all 5 years off. How to give up D’s Victorian dollhouse that a lovely family friend who filled in as a G’father made for her?Yet, I doubt she would even remember when she has a D someday. We are really not sentimental as a family but still. So, I will crunch the numbers and see what that looks like.
This is what we get for being older parents with our last at 40 yrs.
@oregon101, whether you need a storage unit depends on what you move to. When DH and I downsized, we moved to a two-story house with a full basement and a two-car garage. (Some of our friends think we suck at downsizing.) We did declutter significantly before we moved, but the extra stuff we think the kids might want is quietly living in the basement and the garage for now.
@Miller514 - I wish putting his things in a couple of boxes would help. We’re talking a huge den that I avoid going into stacked high with stuff and just a couple of paths to walk through, a 3 car garage full of junk, most is actual rubbish you couldn’t give away (though he has thousands of dollars of really good tools buried under it all). A large porch we can’t use other than a path between the door and the back yard. And that doesn’t even take into account the junk yard with old lawn mowers, 3 old cars/trucks, old water heaters, an old motor bike in pieces ( I’ve don’t know where some of it even came from - we’ve never owned a motor bike and there are more mowers than we’ve ever owned).
An example of what I’m up against. I didn’t work on my closet this weekend because I wanted to clean my kitchen. Realised the inside of the cabinets were pretty dirty (we took the doors off to paint them then my husband got very ill and we never got round to putting them back - ok it was 10+ years ago, I guess we got used to it). Anyway, the cabinet over the microwave that is built in over the stove was full of stuff and I found a large (sams) full continent of some spice that was all gross and clumped together. I took it in and showed him and asked if he used it and he said he doesn’t and to throw it away. An hour later he was rooting through the trash because he thought of something he could use it for (to Others in the yard to see if it might discourage armadillos or something). I asked him to please not route through the trash and he got quite unpleasant and I ended up in tears. It really is discouraging.
On a good note, I did fill up one trash bag before that happened.
Swimcatsmom, well, I see your situation is more extensive than I realized. Would you consider reaching out for professional help since the situation is overwhelming? Your hubby may not be open to it, but if he is, that would be a start. If he isn’t, you may be able to find help for yourself from a professional who can offer support and insight. I feel badly that things got unpleasant and you ended up in tears over something like spilled paprika. It has to be a continual source of frustration for you.
don’t get me wrong, he’s a really nice guy. He would do anything for anyone. But the hording thing is a real problem. He very rarely gets unpleasant. The last time was because I wanted to throw away a plastic jar that was in the sink to be washed to add to the pile of plastic jars he is saving for ?? We have tons of Tupperware for storage etc and have no need for dozens of plastic jars but he got really upset because I asked why he was keeping it (to make it worse it wasn’t even from food we eat - he had visited his sister before she moved away to FL and come back with a pile of stuff she wasn’t taking with her!). I think our marriage came close to ending over that plastic jar.
It is a huge source of frustration and overwhelming as there is so much accumulated junk after living in this house for 27 years. I want to move to FL or SC and at the same time downsize, but it is a daunting task.
Anyway, sorry everyone for taking the thread off topic. (Has helped me a lot to vent though 
) . I am going to plod along with the parts of the house I can for now. … .
swimcat - I can relate to your situation. After years of frustration and living in a constant state of clutter, I have tried this new approach and so far so good. About once a month I select ONE category of H’s stuff and lay it all out on the floor. For example. I found every pair of shoes he owns and lined them up 2x2. I let him know before hand that I I going to tackle something and take a pix of the “collection” and text it to him while he is at work. When he comes home, he is mentally prepared to see the physical display. He usually ends up getting rid of about 1/3 of my displays. I consider it progress. I have done this with t-shirts, sharp kitchen knives, screw drivers, gas cans, gloves and baseball caps. I plan to continue and pray he continues to keep playing my game…
I have heard that if you take a pix of the “mess” the “violator” has an easier time focusing.
Our garage is a disaster zone…Now and then, H will become obsessed with some minor little thing that I or one of the kids has stored in the garage…like that one hockey stick is suddenly the reason for the entire mess…grrrr
Could those of you with spouses with collecting tendencies suggest renting a storage unit for all the things they want to collect?? I know this costs $$ (which is some of the reasoning sometimes behind the collecting - “in case we need it, don’t want to be wasteful”. ) but it would allow them to have their stuff, you to have some piece of mind and space in your homes back and MAYBE get them to realize that the stuff is out of hand not to mention affecting the quality of living in your home for some of you.