<p>My son signed up last week. I figure it’s a good choice as I am a single mom, and the male interaction would be great for him. I am a bit concerned about the camping trips, (he’s 12 and I might be coddling him, lol). We had to discuss sexually inappropriate behaviors. He was a bit embarrassed, but was able to go over the rules and discuss it with me. Since then, I have become antsy, esp. about the camping trips. Anyone have any comforting words to a (possibly) over protective mother?</p>
<p>Quopoe,</p>
<p>The Boy Scouts take child protection very seriously. Talk to the Scoutmaster and ask him about the status of training for the leaders and the boys currently in the troop. Ask him about how many adult leaders they require for a camp out. Minimum is two - much better answer is four. The requirement is that there is never a situation where an adult and a boy are alone together. There should always be another adult there. Four adults let two handle an injury, for example, without making all the other boys trek along to the doctor - or end their campout earlier. Ask about their rules for transporting boys. One adult and one boy (unless, of course they are family) should not be alone in a vehicle. </p>
<p>Ask if you are welcome are any campout (you should be). Ask if moms go along sometime, usually, never… (I’d worry alot about never.) Ask if siblings go along. </p>
<p>As your son has already joined a troop, he should be working on the Scout rank. One of the requirements of the Scout Rank is that you sign that you and he have reviewed the child protection pamphlet in his scout manual. </p>
<p>Go to meetings and meet the other leaders - adults and boys. I believe you will feel much better. It can be an outstanding program.</p>
<p>Don’t stop asking questions until you feel at ease.</p>
<p>Regards.</p>
<p>NotReady said it all. As a former Asst Scout Master (ASM) and the father of a Eagle Scout, I want to recommend YOUR involvement as well. Many parents - Moms too - stay through each meeting and participate in many of the activities. You too can become an ASM and go through the training first-hand. Do NOT be a parent who just drops off the kid and disappears for an hour or two. Become involved. There are many many things to volunteer for, and if you are standing around during the meeting and meeting the other adults, these opportunities will present themselves to you.</p>
<p>What NotReady said. That’s exactly what I would have written – the Scouts as a whole take youth protection very seriously. Take a look at this: <a href=“http://www.scouting.org/pubs/gss/toc.html[/url]”>http://www.scouting.org/pubs/gss/toc.html</a>.</p>
<p>Schedule a meeting with your Scoutmaster to talk about your son if you want to. As a leader I would want to know if there any special issues involving your son. </p>
<p>Scouting can be a lot of fun. Make SURE he goes to summer camp this year. He IS old enough, and he WILL have fun. A lot of parents think “my son is too young, I’ll send him next year” but that is simply wrong. Scouting is designed for your son, and the camp knows there are 11-year-olds there. Most of the activities at camp are intended for 11- and 12-year-old boys. They’ll have high adventure activities for the teenagers, too, but your little guy won’t have to keep up with them.</p>
<p>(I’ve been an Assistant Scoutmaster for seven years, my older son is an Eagle, and my younger son is a Life Scout. If you have any other questions, ask away!)</p>
<p>Quopoe, Getting more involved is also a good way to meet a lot of really nice folks - adults and boys.</p>
<p>You can go through the standard adult leader training yourself - even as an interested parent and not a scout leader. I think it’s something like two Sat. AMs and one overnight campout (with just adults.) You might really enjoy it and it gives a real flavor of what being a member of a troop and patrol can be like.</p>
<p>quopoe,
If your son is the one that is interested, then this will be a wonderful experience. I have two sons. My older one is an Eagle scout and liked the scouting program, especially the campouts. My younger son will probably drop out after this school year. I loved helping out with the adult leaders. The camraderie has been good and it’s great to see they boys mature and take over leadership positions. The most successful boys seem to have the most involved parents and I think that’s because the parents are also excited about the program. Have fun! oh, yes, and that two deep leadership is taken very seriously. No one wants to be in a position where his actions could be questioned or make a boy feel uncomfortable.</p>
<p>The two-deep leadership is taken very seriously in my kids’ scout troop, of which my husband is scoutmaster.</p>
<p>When he has a boy over to the house for a conference, I or one of my boys is always on the same level of the house. It protects the child AND my husband.</p>
<p>I think that when it is practiced correctly, the Scout protections are a great model for all organizations, and consideration should be given by religious organizations to adopt their guidelines.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>A lot of schools around here do an “Outdoor Education” campout in the spring. I’ve chaperoned a couple of these and was pretty appalled at the lack of understanding of appropriate policies. Having had “Youth Protection” hammered into me in Scouting (over and over and over), I was surprised at how many violations there were – including adults sharing tents with students other than their own children. I’m afraid the teachers got pretty tired of me by the end of the weekend.</p>
<p>I have a new-13 y.o. 7th grader who has been a scout since Tigers (first grade). He is now a Life Scout and is about to do his Order of the Arrow Ordeal in 10 days. He has gone on innumerable weekend trips and several weeklong camps with his troop. </p>
<p>I would ask the troop ASMs and Scoutmaster how tentmates are assigned for the trips, ie if the boys are required to share a tent with someone in their own school grade or maybe only a grade higher or lower vs. tenting with someone with the same rank. My son earned his ranks fairly quickly so he doesn’t tent with other Life Scouts rather other 7th graders.</p>
<p>My son loves BSA and all that it entails. He likes the earning of merit badges because the requirements are clear and concise. He likes being able to “get away for the weekend”. He is already thinking about his Eagle Project and when he wants to complete it.</p>
<p>Scouting was great for my son and was seen as a positive differentiator for admission to Service Academies.</p>
<p>These are great parental opinions, but I though I’d chime in as a former scout.</p>
<p>In all honesty, I’d discourage you from getting super-involved too quickly. Let your son feel out his troop and get to know everybody.</p>
<p>I came up through the scouting organization, and was a scout 6-18. For cub scouts, some significant level of parental involvement is optimal. However, at the level of boy scouts, I’d honestly discourage parental involvement to a large degree. The scouting program provides a wonderful opportunity for young men to really find themselves as individuals, and come into their own. The environment is safe and structured, and is really geared toward this, I feel. You should certainly meet the troop leaders and other parents so as to make sure that you feel comfortable, but go with your gut.</p>
<p>And the fact of the matter may be, and likely is, that your son may simply not want you there. Of course he wont tell you this, and of course you should be there for big things. Nearly every scout I’ve known that’s had a parent stick around in meetings really did not like it.</p>
<p>I know every troop is different, but things like parents/siblings going on campouts, staying and participating in troop meetings was highly discouraged in my troop. Our troop as run by and for the scouts, and our adult leaders did very little. It was great and really did a lot for the boys, IMHO. For instance, out of my first patrol, three of us are working on our PhD’s, one is finishing up his JD, and another is in the Coast Guard. That’s just one group, and I know we’re hardly alone. So many went on out of scouts to top colleges. Its not just coincidence. Done right, the program can be outstanding.</p>
<p>If you want to be involved, join as an ASM, but make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. Do it for the love of scouting, not your son. Too many ASM’s are simply there to spend more time with their children. I mean, I think that is great, but I’ve seen so many ASM’s leave as soon as their son leaves the program. Just a little sad, IMHO. And if you do join, you need to find a comfortable distance between you and your son during outings.</p>
<p>What boy scouts is not, is a baby sitting program. This is not a place to dump your son for a few hours a month (I’m not accusing you of doing so either, 
), but I’ve seen so many parents treat it this way. Like I said, you should meet leaders. Speak with them about your son, let them know his needs, especially of the medical and mental health variety. I recall one summer camp where one of our scouts as very very rambunctious and destructive. We came to find out later, this kid was severely ADHD, and his parents thought nothing of sending him to a week of camp without his medication. Don’t be that parent.;)</p>
<p>I’m seven…excuse me, eight years out of the program and I can’t tell you how invaluable of an experience it really was for me. I was hardly a model teen when it came to school, but I was a great scout. I still and will always carry so many lessons I learned as a scout, throughout my life. I hope your son enjoys scouting!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Good point. As a former Scout myself, and an ASM for seven years, my own opinion is that the program has infinite amounts of room for dedicated, trained adult leaders, and very little for mommies and daddies. My advice to any adult who wants to be involved is to take the Scoutmaster and Committee training, pay close attention, and then FOLLOW THE PROGRAM. The BSA has been doing this for nearly 100 years, nothing an individual thinks up on their own is going to be better than all that experience. The first troop I joined as an adult used to have “our own way” of doing things. The troop had 30 Scouts. A new Scoutmaster started just before my son joined and started following “the program.” As we shed our local ideas and went with national standards, the program improved. In four years the troop had grown to 80 boys, with 22 trained adult leaders and was run by the book all the way. It was terrific.</p>
<p>I could go on and on. Apparently, I have!</p>
<p>My son is a Life Scout (Older of The Arrow) going for Eagle this year. His dad is also an ASM. It’s been a great experience for them both, and they can’t recommend it highly enough. The mothers of some of the younger boys in the troop are very involved (a couple of them, behaving somewhat “helicopterish”—it’s assumed that they’ll become less skittish as time goes on and their boys get older) and go along on many of the camping trips. In any case, their involvement is NOT discouraged. The more adults there are on a camp-out (within reason), the better. My H has told me about how seriously the BSA takes the safety of ALL its scouts. Rules that protect both boys and adult leaders from the threat of/allegations of child sexual abuse are strictly adhered to. I encourage you to let your son experience all that scouting has to offer. I’ve watched my own blossom in ways I know he would not have otherwise under this justifiably revered program.</p>
<p>The best way to learn about the leadership of the troop, besides going camping, is to get involved with the troop committee. My experience is there are never enough adults willing to do the background work that has to be done to run a troop. And you get to interact with the adults and learn a lot about them. 3 sons in scouting, I didn’t camp with them.</p>
<p>Singersmom–I am the sort that prefers sleeping in her own dry bed, thankyouverymuch, but your point about volunteering to do background work is well taken.</p>
<p>My DD’s best boyfriend in HS was an Eagle Scout and he was a peach. As his mom and I used to say with pride (and secret relief,) “He’s such a Boy Scout.”</p>
<p>I will chime in a little. You have been given some great advice. Scouting can be a great way for a young man to develop self-reliance, confidence and leadership skills. However, as one might expect, all troops are not created equal. In my opinion, these are things you should consider: </p>
<ol>
<li> Is there an active troop committee and how often does it meet?</li>
<li> Given the size of the troop, is there a reasonable number of Assistant Scoutmasters?</li>
<li> What training does the Scoutmaster have, including Youth Protection Training? There are a variety of training levels, from basic leader courses through an advanced course called Wood Badge.<br></li>
<li> How much experience does the Scoutmaster have?</li>
<li> What training do the Assistant Scoutmasters have, including Youth Protection Training? The same training available to Scoutmasters is available to assistants.</li>
<li> How often does the troop go camping? I would want to see an average of once a month. Planning and participating in these activities is really where your soon will see the benefits of the program.</li>
<li> How many adults regularly participate when the troop goes camping? If only one, find another troop. At least two are required by BSA policy and three or four looks better, and even more would be desirable with a larger group. </li>
<li> Is there a calendar of planned events for the next several months. This will tell you if advanced planning is occurring and how active the troop is.</li>
<li> Does the Scoutmaster control things or are meetings and activities run by the boys with the advice and assistance of the adults? If not the latter, look elsewhere. A scout troop should be run by the boys.<br></li>
<li>Does the troop participate regularly in the councils summer camp program? This is a great opportunity for young boys to make friends, learn basic skills in a controlled environment and to earn some advancement.</li>
<li>Does your son have friends in the troop or is there another troop where he has more friends?</li>
</ol>
<p>You might also inquire if the troop has any plans to participate in any extended trips, such as to the Philmont Scout Ranch, Sea Base, the Northern Tier canoe base or some other adventure of its own. </p>
<p>If you choose a good troop you son will be more likely to stick with the program and receive the many benefits that an active Scout troop with a well run program can provide.</p>
<p>“And the fact of the matter may be, and likely is, that your son may simply not want you there. Of course he wont tell you this…”</p>
<p>After the first meeting, my son informed me that he did not want me around for his meetings. 
I think I am just a bit hesitant about the sleep over/camping trips, but that may just be the “mommy” in me. His troop has a great reputation in the community and is said to have more Eagle scouts go through there than any other troop in our county. I am told that there is an opportunity to camp out every month because it helps the guys earn their badges. They are really encouraging summer camp participation and I have told him that he can go. They have a “camparee” (sp?) going on this weekend, but he will not be able to attend due to other obligations. </p>
<p>I was a Girl Scout and I loved it, (although I was a chicken then about going on overnight camping trips…what with the bears and all, lol). I think we have made the right decision in his joining and I am looking forward to all the things he will be able to accomplish.</p>
<p>dont worry. he will be fine. as an eagle scout, i can definitely say it has helped me in life, the way i have developed, and taught me skills that I otherwise would not have had. I truly believe it is worth i.t.</p>
<p>Tyr…thank you for the wonderful advice you provided, (and all others who responded with great encouragement). Believe me, your comments have helped calm some of my jitters and provided me with questions to ask when meeting with the troop leaders. I will be following up on their committees that allow parent participation. I am, (still after all of these years), not a camping sort of girl, but I won’t mind helping out with other duties.</p>
<p>I started to post yesterday, but I’,m glad I waited until today, after some of the other posts, including Tyr’s.
My DH and DS are very involved in Scouting DH is an ASM and has his Wood Badge, in fact he’s teaching some of the Wood Badge this fall, DS is now Senior Patrol Leader, working on his Eagle project. Their troop is much like what Tyr describes, except they usually do summer camp out of council. My DH is also a high school teacher, and takes the Youth Protection stuff very seriously. There were several women in his Wood Badge group, and they were quite successful.
Having said that, he has told me that the one place he thinks should remain all male is the actual camping. I don’t know exactly what the “guy stuff” is that they are doiing when they camp, but the male influence is most appropriate, in his opinion, in that setting. Lots of single Moms are looking for positive male role models, and Scouting is a great source, but the feeling, the experience you are looking for is partly from those all male bonding experiences (I have visions of beating drums in the woods… oh, never mind) per DH. He shares some of WashDad’s feelings about “mommies and daddies”, but that can include parents of either gender. </p>
<p>All troops need more parental involvement in the troop, but it needs to parents who are trained, and who actually stay away from their sons, in a sense. Troop committee is great, and they have Moms supervising some of the badges, when the person has expertise in a particular area.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t take the “stay away” message seriously, I think you should go to the meetings, and become involved, just away from his direct sphere - he will be glad you care, even if he doesn’t express that.</p>
<p>And lest you think DH is a total sexist pig, he does most of the cooking and a lot of the “Mom” stuff, because I work much longer hours.</p>