<p>Your predicament doesn’t even compare to my predicament, guh.</p>
<p>I’m bored of tornado warnings.</p>
<p>There was a passage about a prostitute in *Cien a</p>
<p>[oh</a> my god](<a href=“Dotdash Meredith - America's Largest Digital & Print Publisher”>Dotdash Meredith - America's Largest Digital & Print Publisher) oh my god oh my god oh my god</p>
<p>OH MY GOD</p>
<p>I’m sorry, sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to look elsewhere.</p>
<p>Sure.</p>
<p>Harry Potter was the brightest spot of this terrible terrible day.</p>
<p>[Jeanne</a> Calment - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeanne_Calment]Jeanne”>Jeanne Calment - Wikipedia)</p>
<p>Holy.</p>
<p>Is that your goal?</p>
<p>I like [this</a> song.](<a href=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhsirT9bIi0]this”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhsirT9bIi0)</p>
<p>No, that’s his girlfriend.</p>
<p>OHHHHH.</p>
<p>Very good, Fran.</p>
<p>I just cleaned my bathroom WITH A TOOTHBRUSH.</p>
<p>Try and call me a prissy b-tch now, world.</p>
<p>I won’t try.</p>
<p>Neither will I.</p>
<p>Snoop the homewrecker has prevailed, nearly.</p>
<p>I think I’m going to watch The Office. Season 2 or 4?</p>
<ol>
<li>4 is garbage.</li>
</ol>
<p>Last night, I witnessed the use of an apple as a makeshift bong.</p>
<p>4 is not garbage, and apple bongs aren’t uncommon.</p>
<p>I know, but they’re still embarrassing.</p>
<p>I have one final remaining.</p>
<p>Well then. Did anyone else get abducted by aliens over the weekend?</p>
<p>I think I might take Russian instead of French.</p>
<p>Of course I did.</p>
<p>Your last sentence could easily be referring to salad dressing.</p>
<p>Why yes, it could. If Ranch were a language, it would be the best. Though slightly overindulgent.</p>
<p>I am no longer a junior.</p>