<p>Or Justin Nozuka. You can’t forget him. My favorite Canadian has to be Mike Meyer. I don’t think I’ve ever met any Canadians in real life, which is weird because I live really close to Ontario. I’m closer to Windsor than Chicago or Cleveland.</p>
<p>I was going to say that I know someone who goes to university in Windsor, but then I remembered that it’s actually Waterloo and not Windsor. So. Too bad. </p>
<p>Nothing important ever happened in Windsor. It’s just there. For fun.</p>
<p>And it’s Mike Myers, American. Meyer, pfft. John Mayer sucks. A lot.</p>
<p>Also, if you’re going to go anywhere in Canada, the only places worth visiting are Montreal, Toronto, and Vancouver. Yeah. Toronto’s kind of boring though, just 'cause I’ve lived here for too long. But I talked to some girl today who’s starting college in the fall and she chose to stay in Toronto because she didn’t think she was ready to go anywhere else. I would rather die. Yeah.</p>
<p>I’ve met two Canadians. One was a ginger.</p>
<p>I could theoretically make money if I went to UT.</p>
<p>One of my closest friends is a ginger. Maybe it’s the same one. Huh.</p>
<p>Oh, I don’t think I told you silly people about this. I was reading an article in the newspaper a few days ago and it was about rising tuition fees and how students are having trouble paying for college. So. Guess how expensive college is in Canada. The first sentence went something like this: “With tuition fees skyrocketing at an average of $4,600 a year, Canadian students are…” Yeah. $4,600 a year. I almost laughed out loud.</p>
<p>And that’s in Canadian dollars.</p>
<p>The world is about to change.</p>
<p>Silly commies.</p>
<p>I could make money if I went to ISU, but I’d also have to kill myself.</p>
<p>I have school tomorrow. Don’t they know that I have college apps to work on?</p>
<p>Parity, Snoop. Parity.</p>
<p>I have school on Tuesday. </p>
<p>My silly school decided to make the silly 9th and 10th graders end school an hour earlier than the juniors and seniors. It wasn’t like that when I was a 9th and 10th grader. Not fair. Silly school. 8:30-3:45. Why.</p>
<p>My school took away the senior lot and made everything first come first serve this year. Why?</p>
<p>Most teenagers here don’t drive. It’s more of an American thing. People here obviously have licenses and stuff, they just don’t have their own cars.</p>
<p>Pinkos, all of you.</p>
<p>I am still mad beyond expression.</p>
<p>You Canadians pay a lot more for the rest of your stuff. I read somewhere that your sales tax is something like 14%. Mine in Ohio is 6.5%. Tuition in the US is way higher than that, but that argument never calms anyone. Every time gas prices go up, every news channel reports that gas prices in England are $9.50/gallon. But that never pacifies Americans.</p>
<p>How much is gas in Canada? In the US, it’s about USD $0.98 per liter. I’m guessing it’s more in Canada.</p>
<p>Sales tax is 9.5% where I live. In case you wanted to know.</p>
<p>It’s around $1.20ish here.</p>
<p>And yeah, our sales tax is ridiculous. Canada is pretty expensive, I won’t argue with you on that one. It used to be 15% but they reduced it, and I think it’s around 13% now, but I don’t really pay attention. However, it varies from province to province. The general sales tax (GST) is around 5% which all provinces pay, and then there’s the provincial sales tax (PST) which is 8% in Ontario. Ontario is one of the most expensive provinces, though. I know that Alberta, for example, doesn’t even have a sales tax. But silly Quebec’s sales tax applies to the GST as well, if that makes sense. Let’s say something costs a dollar. It’ll get to $1.05 with the GST, and Quebec puts its provincial tax onto the $1.05 instead of just the initial dollar, which is what the other provinces do.</p>
<p>Why do I know all of this?</p>
<p>I live in the county with the highest taxes in the country. Yeah.</p>
<p>When I wake up early in the morning, lift my head, I’m still yawning.</p>
<p>You know that waking up to the daily blues from waking up to the daily news ain’t nothing strange.</p>
<p>Why am I looking up the Potter family tree instead of studying for my Latin tests on Thursday and Friday?</p>
<p>You already know all the Latin you could ever want. Isn’t it hard to believe that those crazy gladiators with togas came up with a language that complex? I bet there’s some fishy business.</p>
<p>There are so many things wrong with that sentence so I’m just going to leave it alone.</p>