<p>That’s why I’m going to work in pictures, mike. Exactly.</p>
<p>Now I’m watching Family Guy. Fret not.</p>
<p>That’s exactly what I thought, Mike.</p>
<p>I have an essay to write and a bunch of stats homework to do and then I need to study for a bio test and then I need to study for a chem test and then I need to do my physics homework and then I need to do my French homework and then I need to go to bed and read the rest of my philosophy chapter on what a person is.</p>
<p>I need to memorize the Constitution and read my chem book. I’ve given up on the debate.</p>
<p>But you looovvee me, yak.</p>
<p>I could never love an American who didn’t have at least a drop of Canadian blood.</p>
<p>I love debates of any kind.</p>
<p>Buffalo is practically Canadian. There ya go.</p>
<p>Today in apush my teacher was really mad because no one read except for me and this other kid so we couldn’t have a class debate. It was pitiful.</p>
<p>I think I have an ancestor somewhere about 200 years ago that was from Quebec. Does that count as Canadian? Does that mean you love me?</p>
<p>Today in English my teacher was talking about Islam, and we read some excerpts from the Koran. The two boys behind me kept pointing at things and laughing, and they drew a most lovely political cartoon about Islamic terrorists wearing t-shirts that say “I 
NY.” They also laughed at just about everything in a video about Eid Al-Adha. If I were slightly more able-bodied, I would have punched them both out. But that just doesn’t work when a skinny dude tries to beat on somebody. I just love how my school has no APs and I’m stuck in “college prep” English, where we’ve written one paper in the last month and a half.</p>
<p>We talked about piropos today in Spanish. They’re basically ridiculous pick-up lines that men yell at women in hispanic countries. Then we got to make up our own. It was the first fun day of Spanish in recorded history.</p>
<p>Ex: Si tu fueras mi madre, mi padre dormía en la escalera</p>
<p>I see.</p>
<p>I think I’ll read tomorrow.</p>
<p>You say you will, but you won’t.</p>
<p>Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton Eyed Joe?</p>
<p>Cotton Eyed Joe is now stuck in your head. Enjoy.</p>
<p>Is that what that song is saying?</p>
<p>I hate you.</p>
<p>It’s practically Tennessee’s state song. </p>
<p>My governor is an inarticulate moron and criminal. A powerful combination.</p>
<p>I just wrote my mentorship application essay and it’s easily one of the nicest things I’ve ever written. But that isn’t saying very much.</p>
<p>Your governor has nothing on former Ohio governor Bob Taft. Google him.</p>
<p>Finishing an essay you’re really proud of is always a good feeling.</p>
<p>Canada doesn’t have governors. So, you know, we win.</p>
<p>It really is. I had no idea what to write, and then I started typing and it all came out perfectly. I love when that happens.</p>
<p>I have a math test tomorrow and I am less than unconcerned.</p>
<p>For Spanish, my assignment today is to decorate two practically naked people on a paper (the idea is to give them clothes). Then I’m supposed to tell about their enchanted date. I am, of course, using this as an opportunity to make fun of French people. My couple is Yvette and Jérôme. They’re going to do all sorts of Frenchy things on a date. At the culmination of the night, they’re going to be French kissing, and they’ll fall off the Eiffel Tower. I love pushing the limit of school appropriateness.</p>
<p>By the way, Yvette is wearing a lovely red beret, too much makeup, a black dress, fish nets, and white gloves. Jérôme is wearing a French-style floppy hat, a handlebar mustache, a tuxedo with a bowtie, and two-tone shoes. How French of them both.</p>
<p>You sound creative today.</p>
<p>No school tomorrow. Senior ditch day #1 Friday. 5 day weekend. Yay!</p>
<p>I will finish some essays tomorrow. I will.</p>
<p>I really need a mental health day, but I don’t get any school breaks until November 6, which happens to be AFTER my UChicago deadline. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!</p>
<p>I need help.</p>