<p>I will be applying to schools all around the nation, some nearer to my home, others thousands of miles away. My parents are approving of this, and I’m not worried about my dad. But my mom is very emotional. Would such a vast distance between us cause her to become depressed, in your opinion? I have two siblings who are also teens, so she’d still be plenty busy. But although she wants me to get out of the poor place we live, I can tell it’s going to hurt alot if I move halfway across the nation. She’s always been the most emotional when a family member passes away or something tragic happens. I just don’t know if she could handle it easily. So for parents whose kids moved halfway across the nation (or similar circumstances), was it relatively easy to let your kid(s) go, or very difficult, or somewhere in between?</p>
<p>Absence is absence; whether 200 miles or 2000, it won’t matter hugely. It will be tough on her, but there is a lot you can do to make her still be part of your life. Cellphones, texts, skype are all great.</p>
<p>Leave a couple of “you mean the world to me” type greeting cards for her to find in your absence.</p>
<p>Write her a REAL letter (like paper, a stamp and everything). </p>
<p>Go the right school and don’t worry about the distance. She’ll cry; I did, for only the third time in 25 years. Part of the parenting bargain.</p>
<p>If it takes 40 minutes to go 30 miles,
How long would it take you to go 300 miles?
Compared to going 3000miles?</p>
<p>You are a very thoughtful person to be thinking about your mom’s feelings. Yes, she will be sad, but it is part of the separation process she will have to endure. With two other children at home, this will help her prepare for their eventual departure.</p>
<p>I bet your mom wants you to fulfill your dreams, and if that happens to be half way across the country, she will probably be happy for you.</p>
<p>Could your mom afford to come visit you for parent’s weekend and move- in? If so, she can experience a new destination, as well as know where you will be living. Parents like to be able to visualize their S/D’s daily routine.</p>
<p>My daughter is looking at schools 1,200 miles from home. She is my youngest and I will miss her desperately. But I will fine. Afterall, I love her dearly and want what is best for her. I’m sure your mom feels the same way. And she will have your siblings to keep her busy. Also, technology is a wonderful thing. With email, text messaging and skype, she will still be as much a part of your life as you allow. You are very sweet to be so concerned about your mom, but this is your time to become the person you will be. Your mom will be fine, I promise.</p>
<p>edited to add: I agree with all the speedy typers above me!</p>
<p>It was and still is hard. My daughter is on the other side of the country and has been since the fall of 2003 and she was 18. But we moms can grow and adjust, too.
Please don’t change your plans because you’re afraid your mom will have difficulty. This could lead to resentment and it can stunt your growth when it’s time for you to spread your own wings. How can you become independent if you’re worried about her and looking over your shoulder to make sure that what you do pleases her?
Just don’t lose touch. Call and email often. Keep her up to date on classes and activities so she feels she still has a daughter. Trust me, she doesn’t want you to curtail your choices because of how she may feel. She’s a grown up, and it’s part of the deal of being a mom.
You’re sweet to think of her though. Now stop it! ;)</p>
<p>Thanks so much everyone.</p>
<p>I’m not too worried because of my brother and sister being home. I will make sure to call her often and keep her up to speed on everything. But if she’s in Louisiana with my family and I’m alone in, say, California or Connecticut, I know it’s going to be very tough. I think we’ll make it though.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I’d say about the same: 5 hours in a car to get to Whitman (270 miles) vs 5 hours on a plane to Boston (2500 miles). 
But I’d be more worried about my kid driving than flying.</p>
<p>Does your mom know how to use Skype? If not, you can set it up for her and teach her how to use it. Your mom will be fine as long as you are happy at the college of your choice. Good luck with your college search and applications!</p>
<p>If your mom will have as tough a time as you say she might, then going to school too close to home might make it harder for you since guilt, comfort and family can be convenient defaults when college life gets tough or your mom misses you too much. My husband is the sentimental one in our family and I’m so glad for our kids’ sakes that they went far away! If you can afford to go, it’s a wonderful opportunity to explore who you are in the world. Besides, most colleges have tons of breaks and a fairly short school year!!</p>
<p>My mom is clueless with Skype and other technology-related things. I’ll teach it to her when the time comes, though. :)</p>
<p>Thank you kolijma. If accepted to a top school far away, it’s very probable I’ll attend. But I have to get in first!</p>
<p>Skype, texting and email make the separation way easier says the mom with two kids in college.</p>
<p>That said, you can’t be responsible for her emotions. </p>
<p>She raised you to be smart and strong, and capable of making good choices. Distance to college should be less important than going to the right one for you. </p>
<p>However, do take into consideration of logistics and costs when planning. Moving far away can be far more costly, depending upon how you get your stuff there or home or stored over breaks, as well as travel plans. How often do you plan on coming home to visit? Make sure you add that to your budget before you make your college choices, so you have a realistic viewpoint about how much things are going to cost. </p>
<p>Good luck to you!</p>
<p>I would only come home for Christmas/New Years and summer. And rest assured, I won’t be going anywhere unless the FA is very good, since I’m middle class. :P</p>
<p>By the way, SamuraiLandShark… 2 billion posts? What? Haha.</p>
<p>descrescendo-- I’m a very devoted mom of one–a year ago a common question people would ask me is, “what are you going to do w/out your son??” This despite the fact that I work full time! I have spent much more time and energy at work, so I’m guessing that your siblings might get more time and attention when you leave than they are used to. That can be good or bad! But your Mom will get thru–your job is to do well, not to take care of her. But staying in contact will be nice for her. Also, send your siblings texts too sometimes so they can complain about the new reign of terror! haha Also, you can ask your Mom to send you some little things along the way–whatever food or trinkets that you miss–I’ll bet she’ll enjoy sending a care package now and then. Like a little box of love!</p>
<p>Haha that’s some good advice… care packages. Never thought of that! It should work out nicely, I hope. Thanks mom in virginia.</p>
<p>decrescendo, </p>
<p>not really 2 billion posts…just a computer accounting glitch. If it only worked out in my favor for my bank account, and not my post count!</p>
<p>^Hahahah. I’m sorry your bank account didn’t receive a similar error. You’ve probably been asked about that a million times, just wanted to clarify. :)</p>
<p>My daughter, my youngest child, will be leaving for a college 700+ miles away. I am convinced it is a wonderful college for her - it just seems to fit with her needs, her personality and her learning style. I know I will miss her terribly. She and I are very close, and I will truly miss not being a part of her daily life. BUT - I cannot in good conscience hold her back just because I enjoy her company. I am so excited for the experience she is going to have at this college, and I hope it’s as wonderful as I expect it to be. Yet I worry that she won’t come home.</p>
<p>But if I had any inkling that she’d have given up this college out of concern for my emotions, I’d feel SO guilty. As parents, we raise our children as best we can to be caring, responsible, independent people. And then we have to stand back and let them go. </p>
<p>So go, go, go to whatever college you feel is best for you. But do text and Skype your mom frequently!</p>
<p>one child 30 minutes away by car; another 20 hours by car (still a 8-9 hour trip if flying due to airport logistics) and it is a hard thing for a mom no matter what. your mom will be like countless other moms who have said goodbye’s to their college bound kids–and she will be happy, proud and sad all at once. it is probably easier on moms to have kids 1/2 hour away, but that may not always be easier for kids. </p>
<p>enjoy your experience and as you grow and learn about yourself, so will your mom.</p>
<p>good luck to both of you!</p>
<p>Thanks everyone! The parents on here are all so wonderful and comforting. 
Thank you so much to everyone.</p>
<p>I was the first child in the family, and I know that my mom cares about me too much not to send me off to great schools far away when I can get accepted to them. That’s why she’s allowed me to apply. It’s going to be hard. I’m going to teach her Skype, though! :)</p>
<p>I tend to let my kids initiate the calls home…especially when they are busy, it gives them time to schedule them when they have time. In the meantime, I would send them text messages, which they sometimes did (or didn’t) always respond to. Just wanted to let them know I was thinking about them.</p>
<p>It is funny…kids always expect you to drop everything when they call…they forget you are just as busy, just with less kids at home. ;)</p>