This is a topic that always takes my goat out for a walk, (as they say in Australia)! So here’s my little rant.
'Copter kids and BS are not a great match – regardless of economic background. These kids are at a real disadvantage unless their helicopter parent(s) is truly willing to change their ways and give their kid a real chance to succeed on their own. I’ve known a handful of these families. I have seen a couple of them counseled out the door by the school during the first year, because the situation became untenable. If a parent has a visceral response to every unhappy phone call from Junior and immediately complains to the school about the issue of the day ( i.e., too little playing time in sports, the B- that should have been a B+; the smaller-than-expected role in the musical, the mean dorm parent or the lab partner who is not pulling their weight…) then BS is probably not a great fit for that family. “PITA parents” are labelled pretty quickly in the community, and with good reason. You don’t want to be that parent, the one who undermines the kid’s ability to learn to deal with problems, become resilient and learn to advocate for him/herself. It’s not easy to let go, but the whole point of BS is to grow your kid into an independent young adult who is prepared to move on to a successful college experience. Don’t let your kid become known as the one with the Mom or Dad who comes running to smooth all the bumps in the road. Those bumps are a precious gift, and there is much to be gained by the kid in navigating them. I am always amazed by parents who pay a fortune for the services of a very well-qualified faculty and staff, who are very good at what they do, and then second-guess them every step of the way. When I see a great kid with loads of potential being sabotaged and undermined by their parents, it drives me crazy.