<p>If one of my sons turned down a reasonable job offer it would be their decision. We don’t give them money after they graduate from college so whether they have to piece together two minimum wage jobs or find something that might not be as romantic (or well paying) as they envisioned doesn’t matter to us. If a reasonable job in their field came along that was relatively low paying, of course H and I would encourage them to take it. Kids have an sense of self importance right after college graduation that outstrips their actual contributions in the workplace in general. But the bottom line is we’re not giving them any money so their decisions are their own. </p>
<p>^^^^ that just about sums it up.</p>
<p>@HisGraceFillsMe:</p>
<p>Here’s my take: It’s alright to pass up a job in a toxic organization or if you dislike your potential boss and the people you’ll be working for, and maybe if the job isn’t in your field, but location and commute are not legitimate reasons to turn down a job. Everyone who has reached the top of their field and everyone who has raised a family has had to make sacrifices to get what they want (success at work and/or raising up kids you can be proud of). You learn more working in the field you want than you do at school. So turning down a job in your field for non-work reasons is just making excuses for yourself. You have to ask yourself: Do you want to be successful? Are you willing to work hard? Or are you soft and expect people to hand you success on a platter? Because the world doesn’t work that way. There’s a reason why veterans in almost any field would rather hire someone hungry over someone who’s not. In any case, (except for organizations with awful non-compete agreements–my advice would be to not join those), you can always leave for a job in a better location after a year or two when you’ve picked up job skills and experience if you really dislike the location, but you’re not going to gain skills and experience by not working.</p>
<p>Many kids in the DC area commute. Most right out of college have roommates (sometimes many roommates) to offset the cost since the rents are so high. There are tons of UVa and Virginia Tech grads in the DC area. Wm & M probably has plenty too but probably not at the same level since it is a smaller school. Our expectation was that our kids work every summer during college and work towards having employment after graduation. If this kid has sent out plenty of resumes and has had few interviews and only one offer, he may have made a mistake by not taking an offer. Who knows when the next offer will come up. That being said, I was kind of glad when one of my kids did not get an offer from an employer in a rural area. Probably a very nice place for a family but most young guys would probably be miserable there. DC has a lot going on for young people=a very vibrant scene.
A 35 minute commute in the DC area does not sound outrageous. </p>
<p>@PurpleTitan,</p>
<p>Of course I want to be successful. Of course I work hard. But like I said, I work 24/7, so I am not going to sacrifice my personal life AND my happiness for a job. ESPECIALLY as a young professional, when I should be developing my skills, my network, and so many other things that will be vital to my career. In Student Affairs, your first job can–and often does–make or break your career. Again, I recognize that Student Affairs is somewhat different from a lot of other fields.</p>
<p>At the end of the day, it’s a job. </p>
<p>And judging on the interviews I have had and experience of my mentors and professors, it does not look good to have a string of jobs for 1 year each because you were not wise enough to do your research and figure out if it was a good fit.</p>
<p>Fit is important, no matter what anyone says. Especially in Residence Life.</p>
<p>@HisGraceFillsMe:</p>
<p>No one says you should take a string of jobs for 1 year each, but you get more opportunities when you have some experience in most fields, so your second job should last longer than a year. As for happiness for your job, I did say that the job-related aspects are important. Maybe in your field, location actually matters for your job, but for most fields, it doesn’t, and the only fit that should matter are the job-related aspects. </p>
<p>For my kids I would say you can live at home and be picky for 6 months. Then you need to figure out how to start paying rent with SOME kind of job and/or move out. And then I would let them decide how to handle it. I would certainly offer advice if asked, but they are the ones who have to live with their decisions.</p>
<p>PurpleTitan -</p>
<p>Where do you come up with nonsense like this, “turning down a job in your field for non-work reasons is just making excuses for yourself”? People turn down job opportunities in their field all the time for non-work reasons! I have. More than once. Commutes incompatible with the needs of my family, yup. Job schedules incompatible with the needs of my family, yup. Locations incompatible with the needs of my family, yup. Heck there are scads of jobs I’m perfectly qualified for that I haven’t even considered applying for because of those three conditions. </p>
<p>For any sensible person commute, work schedule, and location do all play into this decision. They are all part of the overall balance of an individual’s life.</p>
<p>also “the only fit that should matter are the job related aspects.” Location, social things do matter for most people.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>35 minutes is not a long commute in the DC area. I would bet money that most people that work in DC commute for longer than 35 minutes. If you want to work in DC, you are going to have to put up with commute times.</p>
<p>source: I work in DC and my co-workers live in MD, DC, and VA.</p>
<p>Time to be realistic. My husband commutes 55 minutes to his current job. Last job was an hour. Job before that, 55 minutes. His shortest commute has been 45 minutes. The jobs all were rewarding in some way, paid well, gave him opportunities to grow professionally. </p>
<p>@happymomof1:</p>
<p>How many kids fresh out of college have families? Yes, my comment was directed to those young folks who are just starting out with little/no experience in their field and no family obligations yet. Sorry if I wasn’t clear.</p>
<p>But if you’re young, with no obligations yet, and little/no experience either, looking to break in to a field, yet you allow non-work reasons to deter you from a job in a field that you profess to want to enter, how committed to being good in the field you say you’re interested in are you really? Actions always speak louder than words.</p>
<p>@sevmom:
“Location, social things do matter for most people.”</p>
<p>Yes, but should they for young people with neither experience/skills or obligations? Remember that many folks in most professional fields are more a liability than an asset their first year or so. The company is taking a gamble on your potential (and also gambling that they landed some of those few kids who turn out to be able to contribute right away) by paying you while teaching you the ropes and providing you with valuable skills and experience. That’s why the opportunity to learn matters more than money when you first start out. If you let non-work aspects deter you from a learning opportunity, then how committed are you really to a field?</p>
<p>Easier to get a job when you have a job. By the end of the school year-and after graduation- not having a job lined up should make a person less picky. Prove you are employable. </p>
<p>romani… sounds like you may need to adjust your job expectations. Not that many possibilities for the job you have in mind I bet, and you need to like it with 24/7 responsibilities.</p>
<p>The argument for waiting for the better job and salary comes from an article I read a while back. The higher you start the higher your salary will be in decades to come. This means you are getting raises based on your current salary or look for jobs that pay more than you currently get. Son got lucky just after graduation- the job he preferred to another possibility came through and at a higher salary than he anticipated (an online search by mom showed his salary was industry standard).</p>
<p>@PurpleTitan–people do not exist in a vacuum. Even if it is the perfect job, you need something to do besides work. And you need to live in an area that makes that doable. For example: I grew up in a large city. Having the amenities that a large city offers is very important to me. I have applied to schools that are up to half an hour away from the nearest major city because that to me is doable; however, I am not going to go live in the middle of nowhere for 2 years just so I can say I have a job. I’ve already done that and I was miserable (yes, <em>GASP</em> I have legitimate experience out of grad school! SHOCKING!). I’m not willing to put myself in that position again.</p>
<p>@Chedva wrote:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This is pretty accurate.</p>
<p>I can only think of one reason why my company would hire someone unemployed, other than a fresh college grad; that is, a person who is voluntarily unemployed. </p>
<p>This group is very sharp, successful people whose skills are so good that they can take time off and then return. Their skill level is tough to find, and those people know it.</p>
<p>I’m not so sure that the situation is all that clear for someone who has completed a career oriented graduate degree (like @HisGraceFillsMe ) Here’s the problem as I see it:
The grad student has just invested a lot of time and probably a lot of money, possibly a lot of loans,to get a credential that qualifies the person to do X. If the grad student takes a lower paying job doing something that is not-X, over time it may really devalue the worth of the degree. Yes, it is helpful to have a job to get a job – but a job is also a career path. Not so significant for then newly minted BA – but for the person with the MBA or MPA, or JD, or Masters of something specifically related to a career – that first job is going to set the stage for salary and promotions every step of that way down the line.</p>
<p>So I am thinking that the person with the newly earned grad degree is better off being choosy. Of course the person needs to earn money to support themselves along the way – but I think the plan for something part-time or temporary like substitute teaching makes sense. </p>
<p>I mean right now the biggest barrier that HisGraceFillsMe faces is that she does not have a previous job with the same title as the one she is applying for. She has experience as an RA, she has the degree-- but she’s probably competing against people who have the same degree but many more years of relevant work experience than she does. So the worst thing for her would be to take a job that puts her off track in terms of that sort of experience. </p>
<p>Now if it turns out that she can’t find a job at all in her field after a sustained and diligent search -that’s another matter. She might have to regroup and reassess her goals. </p>
<p>But I think she owes it to herself to allow for a reasonable amount of time before giving up on the career she has trained for, and not to sell herself short at the outset.</p>
<p>calmom, to me the issue is not whether Grace “sells herself short” but that she is being fussy about criteria that are not job related. I agree with you that the situation for a recent undergraduate is different than for someone attaining a professional degree. But Grace is deciding against applying for good jobs based on lifestyle preferences. In other words, she is opting to ignore career jobs at large universities or schools in remote rural areas, jobs that would look great on her resume and help with career advancement.</p>
<p>^Bingo! Taking an ‘out of career field’ job can be a double-edged sword. Some employers will look at it as applicant is a hard worker. Others will see it as the applicant willing to take less and may offer less.</p>
<p>In 'Grace’s case, it is not about out of career field it is being picky. I am sure her attitude comes across in interviews as well. Since she has lived in cities her whole life, it may actually be much better for her to consider a rural college for the 1st year or two so she can gain some understanding of those students.</p>
<p>Grace: did He just preach in Jerusalem? Or did He go out to the people? Think about it. Pray about it. Not your will…</p>
<p>I have an unusually large number of friends who spent all or most of their careers in Student Housing and Student Affairs. My husband and I were RA’s some thirty-five years ago and stayed in touch with fellow RA’s as well as RD’s and the housing administrators. </p>
<p>Every. Single. One. Of. Them. Spent at least a couple of years at some college or university that was not their first choice in terms of awesome lifestyles. They are now retired or in very senior university administrative positions all over the country as Dean of students, Director of housing, etc.</p>
<p>Housing and student affairs is a very small world. Those 10 friends who stayed in student housing/affairs as careers run into each other all the time. And it seems as though it would be a very bad idea to start out a career in a somewhat small world as someone who won’t work at Tiny Rural College (or Wherever University) because it doesn’t match your vision of where you’d like to live. I don’t think @HisGraceFillsMe is doing herself any favors by getting picky with beginning jobs. And yes, your first job with your advanced degree is a first job with that degree.</p>