New nanny starts today. She’s wonderful with the girls, but I expect there will be a period of adjustment–for all of us, not just the twins.
Twins–now 18 months old-- were moved into toddler beds on Thursday. The girls are big (25+ lbs each) and D is 5.5 months pregnant so lifting them was starting to become an issue. Let’s just say the transition has not been seamless. No crying, but boy! those two can get into tons of mischief when they’re supposed to be sleeping.
Reminds me of the clump of four year olds all running together chasing the soccer ball. Positions? We don’t need no stinking positions!
I don’t even have grandkids but have enjoyed reading some of this thread.
My 15 month old GD is 25+ lbs. She is not chubby, just solid. I won’t be able to pick her up soon.
My nephew is about the same age as my D. My daughter never threw food on the floor and rarely even made a mess. Nephew was eating over one day when he was about 1 and I said “Gee, you are really messy.” My sister said " I never even notice when he drops things. You need a dog."
Yup. The pup at D’s house comes running at the call of “Cleanup Duty!”
My kids were very neat eaters and fed themselves very young. S did allow H’s mom to feed him because it made her so happy. They used utensils when we offered them. S could pick up a single grain of puffed rice at 6 months and eat it. My sister’s grandkids are pretty messy but happy eaters.
Apparently the “course” wasn’t well marked for the first week. Some of the racers ran right off the course and straight for the nearby playground. Since then the organizers clearly roped off the correct area complete with streamers and balloons.
I have a question for the wise grandparents here. My DIL is due soon. Her parents are driving out to be there a few days prior, and I don’t know how long they plan to stay. With tact, my DIL would prefer I wait to visit. I already told her I will stay in a hotel. Has anyone here been in this position?
Are you saying you would like to be there during some of the time the other set of grandparents (her parents) are there? But that you would be in a hotel so you feel you’re not an imposition?
If DIL has asked that you wait to visit, I’d take her cue and wait. These are first decisions as new parents and I think they need to be respected.
Abasket, of course I plan to wait. I’m not sure if that means a month or two or what.
Got it. Your post didn’t have a lot of details so it was hard to assume if you wanted to go soon or later. 
Congrats on the new to come baby!
When I had my children my mother was there right after and mil came 2 weeks later. It was such a help to have someone there to help with shopping, cooking, and cleaning and watching baby while I napped after DH went back to work. I have always loved her for her unselfish acts.
I would ask your son how much time DIL thinks she will want and how long her parents will plan to stay. Just let DS keep you appraised. If you have a lot of flexibility on your schedule, great! When the time comes, as things ‘unfold’, DIL/DS may give you some notice. With their first they may be on ‘pins and needles’. Best wishes for a smooth delivery and healthy baby/healthy mama.
D1 preferred to have the parents stay with them because we could help with night and early morning feedings. I also helped with cooking and laundry when I was there - pretty much what D1 wanted me to do.
D1 did say her in-laws were a bit standoffish (or not as helpful). I told her that they were probably trying to respect her space so she should be more explicit about what she wanted them to do.
@bookworm - I would ask them when and what they would want you to help out with. I am sure they will be grateful of any help once the baby arrives.
The answer to post-birth visits even from grandparents can run the gamut! And the only right answer is the one that your S and DIL share with you when they are ready.
I wanted no one staying/helping me and H after all 3 of mine were born. A short afternoon visit, sure! Extra people - even family - in my house daily? No thanks!
I’m sure this is especially hard for family who have to travel a distance to squeeze and hold those newborn cheeks. But man, I didn’t need anymore on my plate mentally besides taking care of myself, my baby, breastfeeding and such with my husband.
Ask them when they want you to come. If you can be flexible when you get there—let them know too!!
@bookworm - what my daughter did was have her husband be the one in charge of texting and arranging things with the grandparents. My daughter was stressed and it helped to take that off her plate. In our case we live in the same town but the other grandma lived a drive away. She came up and stayed at my house as my daughter wanted their house to themselves. She stayed about 5 days.Because you’ll be flying across country maybe you can ask if it works for you to come a few weeks after the birth. They will need you, as they will learn a new baby is a lot of work.
My grandson is now 6 weeks old and the other grandma is leaving today after a week. It was a bit long for me but I know my daughter and her husband appreciate it. She went over most days in the afternoon and helped them into the evening.
My dil was reluctant to have visitors when they recently had their first. I told my son that we were over the moon and couldn’t wait to see the baby. We did go when the baby was 2 weeks old.
Unfortunately from when I had mine, people can’t really come for the day. My in laws came to the hospital and went home. My mom came and stayed for a week. But it was a disaster for many reasons and when I had my second, she and my dad took care of my oldest and that worked much better. But they lived close enough that both sets of parents could come and go. That’s not the case with my kids.
When we went to meet the baby, my dil had trouble letting us do things or asking for help. We came, we saw the baby and didn’t spend a whole lot of time, considering how far it was.
We did go again, and things went better. Maybe the parents were more desperate 
but we cleaned the house, did yard work and helped as much as we could. Better visit all around.
I just want to say this. My dil is a lovely girl and I know she tries. But she’s shy, still not that comfortable around us and is introverted. I think it’s hard, but try to remember that sometimes it’s about them and not about you. She may be the person who is very close with her parents but doesn’t realize (or is unable) to let you in. But that’s on her, not you. As hard as that is, it’s something I keep saying to myself.
And there’s lots of love to go around with a grandchild.
My daughter had a hard time letting us do things for her. We kept telling her that is why we are here. I always check the dryer when I walk in. Next stop the kitchen sink and so any dishes. I also cook at home and bring them food. This morning the other grandma and I made them chicken with roasted vegetables. I cooked a lot of things and put them in their freezer.