My not yet 3.5 year old GD can be sensitive, and does not like loud noises. I was Face Timing with her tonight after dinner and watching her color with her water pen; it is one of those that make colors on the paper. She was on a page with letters, so I asked what her favor letter was; she replied A. My daughter said hers was H, for GD name and ask if GD wanted her to write one; she likes to have adults write their names. After daughter took the pen and made an H, GD proceeded to write one herself. I cheered and clapped as this was the first time she wrote a real letter, not just scribble. The poor child started crying and hiding her eyes! She then proceeded to write another H, while mom and I quietly cheered; she cried again; then she did it again and we were quiet; she cried again.
My daughter reminded me she was like this with potty training; the cheering (loud noise) scared her. Not sure why she does this; hopefully she will out grow the fear of encouragement. We will look silly if we are the only parents/grandparents at recitals, sporting events, etc… with our hands in our laps.
DS and his wife are expecting baby #3 in March. We were FaceTime-ing yesterday and I asked if there were any potential names yet. Apparently the girls (3.5 and 1.5) think his name should be “Triangle”. Lol.
Has anyone tried Little Sleepies pajamas? I got some for all three grandkids and they are so soft! They absolutely love them.
I’m going to watch my 22 mo GD in November. D and SIL are combining a business trip with a vacation. SIL’s mother is already there and, according to my D, seemed pleased when she told her that I would be happy to help while the kids are away. I get along with my SIL’s mom—lots of people don’t. She’s very opinionated. I just smile and nod.
I refer to my SIL’s mom as my “co-mother-in-law.” we get along fine also. She can be a little bit much, but we have mostly similar views and values, and it’s a comfortable relationship.
For those of you who babysit all, or most of, the day how do you handle nap time resistance, refusals to cooperate (especially about going potty or changing pullups), and melt downs over going back home?
We love spending time with GD1 but there are days when I wish we could simply visit to play for a few hours while not being responsible for everything. Our kids were so close together that their first three years are a bit of a blur thanks to our sleep deprived state (they’re also over 30 years ago.)
D1 and SIL use the RIE parenting method. We talk them through the process, explaining why we need to do X (change diaper, take nap, etc) and asking for their help and cooperation.
Announce they look sleepy/smell stinky and that I want to take them upstairs for a nap/ put them on the changing table. Explain why. If they agree, fine. If they refuse then I say Ok, it looks like you’re busy doing A, but I think you will feel better if you go to bed/let me change your diaper.
If they respond, fine. Talk about how they will feel better if they nap or get a diaper change. But if they don’t respond or answer negatively, then we tell them that in 5 minutes, I’m going to take you upstairs/change your diaper. Then we ask again if they want to do the action now or wait until the time is up.
Remind them after 2 minutes, they have 3 minutes then X is going to happen. 4. Remind them at 4 minutes that X is going to happen in 1 minute, then ask them again if they want to go upstairs to rest/have their diaper changed.
If no response or a negative response, then warn them, " Your time is up, Now I’m going to to move your body to…" and pick them up and carry them to the changing table or to bed.
And tantrums–I depends on which twin it is. Twin A throws fierce tantrums–screaming, kicking, thrashing on the floor. We just let her cry it out until it’s over–even if it takes 10-15 minutes. The exception is when she gets so wound up she physically cannot calm herself. Then we engage with her without touching her. Getting down so she’s looking directly into my face and say “You look very upset, can you breathe with me?” and start taking slow deep breaths until she mirrors my breathing patterns and calms down. Post tantrum we talk to her about why she was feeling upset and ask her to name the emotion she’s feeling and ask her why she feels that way. Twin A is getting better at expressing emotion words: angry, sad, crying, hungry, happy. She’s also learning to stop her own tantrums by counting backwards from 10 to 0. She gets praised for doing that and we talk to her about why she’s upset and what she can do abut her situation to make it tolerable.
Twin B’s tantrums involve wanting to be picked up and held so we usually just hold her for a few minutes until she calms down.
We don’t have a problem with getting the twins to let us change them. Both hate having on dirty diapers. We have a problem convincing them to keep their pants and diapers on. Both love to undress themselves and run around in their bedroom (and outside) naked. Just now, SIL asked if I had any laundry to do since Twin A was butt naked when he went up to get the twins up from their naps. But he was puzzled because Twin A’s bed was still dry & clean. And the carpet didn’t have any wet spots. Well, it was dry because A climbed into bed with her twin and peed in her sister’s bed. So now we have to change Twin B’s bedding. And twin A’s shirt, her special blankie and her special stuffed tiger which she took with her into her sister’s bed.
@tx5athome Adults may find the books odd, but toddlers and older kids love them. Many of my daughter and DIL’s friends have these books in their kids library. My GDs have been read these before they were 3; I don’t get the infatuation, but read them when asked!
Thanks for those suggestions. We do something like the explaining process but GD has very selective hearing.
No doubt the extra clean up is a pain, but I LOL’d because this sounds like the behavior of one of our nephews years ago. He loved to be a “bare bear” inside and outside.
I speak to GD very matter of factly whenever I need to do something to her, like diaper change, sleep time, bath, etc. She is usually very amiable. The only time she gets upset is when she wants to eat and I am not moving fast enough. She’ll pull out her plates and utensils, then climb into her high chair. If I dont have her food ready at that point, she’ll start making a lot of noise.
GD is not 2 years old, and is applying for pre-schools. D1 is touring schools and putting applications in. I went through the whole process when D1 was that age. Back then I was thinking about which pre-school was a feeding school for K-6 for D1, but now as a grandparent, I am saying to D1, “look for a school closest to your apartment and has the biggest gym/outdoor space.”
I love seeing how my GD thinks. Today they played with Playdough at daycare. They sent D a picture of GD … she had a big plastic button next to her, and I’m guessing that the intent of providing it was so she could press it into the Playdough. Instead, she made her own button by flattening the Playdough and poking holes in it with her finger. I hope she continues to think outside the box!
