The Grandparent Thread

I am seeing if I have time for any of the Osher classes - have been studying the fall schedule. Our local U has had 30 years with Osher, and doing special things this year to celebrate. Can always join and see what the mid-year schedule has to offer. Ours also has several options with courses – twice a week, shares courses - online with interaction of peers on campus (Zoom), or instructor and peer online using Zoom. Our two largest state U’s are part of our shares courses.

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Both D’s coming in November to visit and all will work from home here for 3 weeks. They are coming from a one hour time difference from west coast. The kids are usually both in daycares. D1, SIL, 4 and 2 yr old GD’s. Also, D2 with SIL. We have plenty of room for beds, bathrooms, and work areas. We will have a living room, dining room, and kitchen totally always available. We are thrilled they are coming at the same time (Christmas will be spent with each SIL’s family- works out best that way for their family). Really want this to be pleasant and work.

We are watching the kids during the day- November will be weather that you can play outside during the day or take walks (D’s dog and ours included).
We have lots of kids toys, chalk for side walks, paper for drawing, games, and kids books, stroller, car seats, etc.
Router google pods new, work spaces, ordering shower with 6 ft hand held to give kids shower and not get water in their faces (no tubs here).

Thinking a routine schedule would help. Trip to a park for a playground each weekday. Warmest usually around 2-3 PM.

Routine try to follow?:
8 AM Breakfast
9-10 AM play at home/library
10-11:30 AM snack and outdoor play
11:30 AM lunch or outing for lunch
12-2 PM rest/nap younger GD, read/movie older GD
2-4 PM snack and park/grocery store ice cream
4-5 PM play at home

What ideas do you have I may have not thought of? What am I leaving out?

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2 and 4 year olds like and thrive on routine so a daily schedule (subject to change as needed) is a great idea. If it’s me, I need to plan at least 3 outings away from the house for variety.

Library for browsing and playing - and picking out books for the week!
Maybe a routine that every Wednesday you go out for breakfast or lunch. “Wild Wednesday” :slight_smile:
A trip to a local store for a treat (ice cream or the Dollar Store and give them each $3 - that kind of thing)

Also remember that breakfast might actually take only 10 minutes of that 8-9am hour. :slight_smile:

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great ideas! will add to my list.

Schedule is good. Have the parents provide input from what they normally do from their daycare – you can have some board games appropriate for them (have the parents bring along, or dig out what you may have). We have had a lot of good suggestions on this thread. A 2 YO can watch on some played with 4 YO (I know as I have GS2 who will turn 2 in another week, he has older brother, age 4, and older sister, age 5). The 2 YO can also sit in lap and be involved too with adult help on games.

They can have free play, some structure (read a book to them), color something specific or ‘craft time’ like play dough. If parent allows a short amount of screen time as ‘reward’ for behaving (taking nap w/o fuss, general behaving) – if you have access to short segment education shows, like Daniel the Tiger - I think that is the name of the show, PBS stuff (or sometimes I have just gone with a movie preview of a kid movie).

Find out what snacks they usually have. Food they usually have. Some of the things you can do with them on local park/grocery store/other.

After day 1, see what worked, what didn’t work, and adjust.

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I have been caring for GS during his day care’s spring breaks over the years (we are on opposite coasts). I like to pack small distractions that become novelties to him.
Last visit, I picked up a balsa wood wind chime kit at Michaels ($5) and the painting and assembling took one afternoon. I will often print free coloring pages at home and bring a folder of various sheets. And I’ll get small packs of ‘special’ crayons (neon, glitter, etc.).
When they visit here, I research all the local library story/craft hours and we go to a different playground each day.

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Great idea-Going to make Micheals run soon.

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My GD (2.8 yrs) just spent almost 6 weeks with us at our vacation place. Her parents worked from home the whole time. My younger D and her partner where there working from home too. All of us helped babysitting GD. We also were able to get a local babysitter to help out as well.

I took G to the local library, which had puppet shows and story hours. We went to a local museum that had a children’s space with all sorts of play things for toddlers and older kids. We went to a playground everyday. My H got a swing set for our yard, which was also a hit.

My D and SIL don’t let GD have candy, cookies, or ice cream. They broke down one night when everyone went out to a local ice dream place and let her have a children’s cone. I recorded GD eating the ice cream on my phone. It was so fun to watch!!

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I just looked up the activities schedule at the main library for toddlers and preschool age- wow lots of them. One for age 5 and up (that does not apply to me) but does sound cool- reading to a service dog you have all to yourself for 15 minutes.

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If your grandchildren use a Simplay3 toddler tower please check the company’s website to order a stabilizing base. There’s a safety recall on this stepstool. I received a notice last night from the store I ordered from.

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I called SIL on Sunday because he was imagining that I was pushing my way to scheduling to come visit (I had only generally discussed a time frame with DD, so she could be thinking of what is a good time frame), and sent me a private message text “I would appreciate…”. So everything got ‘resolved’ on no boundaries overstepped and all is good. It seems my visit will be some time into 2024 when all the pieces are in place with their lives, including DD starting on line master’s degree Jan 2024 (needed for the job), is working FT, and has 4 children under age 5. DD goes to work in new hospital/new city in a few weeks after maternity leave is completed --12 weeks, they moved (required for his Army job), out of state with 3 week old baby July 1.

I am learning the new paradigm of floating visit ideas to SIL first. It was different being 100 miles away and it was fine to make arrangements with DD. SIL tends to be very territorial, controlling at times, and although he says he is ‘easy to convince’ about things, I find his personality a challenge – so I am continually learning what to do, what to say, while being very careful to not say a hot button word (like assume). Asking a lot more questions and spelling out very clearly so that there is no miscommunication/no incomplete communication. DH is not much of a communicator and just keeps things with SIL ‘on the surface’.

SIL did give me ‘permission’ for sending kids’ clothes/shoes from the store w/o ‘pre-approval’ (they have a store nearby for any return/exchanges needed). Also sending books. Also birthday gifts. Yes, controlling.

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I’m glad for your sake, and your grandchildren, that all’s good now. As I read your post, I thought of how my H would react and it wouldn’t be pretty. You have done so much for your DD and her family, which has benefited your SiL tremendously, that his attitude boggles the mind. I hope he expresses his gratitude for your help.

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“Permission” to send gifts? I would have a hard time dealing with that kind of thing.

SIL just tested positive for Covid a couple of hours ago, so he is in their bedroom and I am with 20 month old grandson in the family room with a KN95 on. D just came up negative and I will test when I get home tonight. Assuming I stay negative, it will be a long 10 days with GS alone as D will be working every day, minimum 12 hrs a day.

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Are you at all concerned for your daughter in terms of how controlling you feel he is- 4 very young kids, a controlling husband who does not want you to visit your daughter and grandchildren until 2024? If your daughter asked you not to visit, that is one thing, but a SIL , that seems very different.

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I feel like I have a good relationship with my son-in-laws. I feel appreciated by both of them and I try to be helpful when I can but also to not give my opinion unless asked. I don’t think my kids would be tolerant of their spouse making such comments.
I have a few friends who have a son-in-law who is pretty controlling. The advice many have given is to just be supportive of your child and let them know you are always there for them.

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SIL is an OK guy. Would not have been my choice, but DD1 loves him, he loves her, they have 4 beautiful children, and it seems he now is on his career path. He doesn’t communicate well, and does come across very territorial at times, as well as other negative aspects.

When he sent me the first PM text on Sunday, I should have just picked up the phone and called him. I sent him detail via PM, and then he continued with a lengthy PM that was off. I picked up the phone and called him, and aired out any differences, misperceptions. He accused me of calling him a loser to others (never said that!), and I told him the only thing I have ever said was that our SIL and DD2’s BF have both had a late start in their careers (which is TRUE!). I cannot help if others see how much DD1 does, how hard she works, how much she has had to do for SIL to get the career opportunity/take the career opportunity that has worked out.

This is a new paradigm with their out of state situation versus being 100 miles down the road.

I now know I have to talk to SIL first, and make sure with him when I do go ahead to schedule air line tickets that it is all OK. I don’t mind going the extra step and then PM DD1 the details to have no misunderstandings.

DD2’s BF is easy to talk with, good communication. We also are getting to know him a whole lot more since DD2 and BF have been a couple for over 4 years - but are on hold with engagement/wedding until they both have careers in the same city (which DD2 moved to the FL city with a great job opportunity, and it will eventually work out for her BF in sports management). BF and his very mild easy housedog have been living with us since beginning of June, and he will have one or two more seasons with this sports organization (since upcoming is his first off season, we will see how that works). BF gets paid for 52 weeks/year, but heavy work responsibilities on season. He cannot take paid work off season, and needs to have some availability with his organization, but will see what that is when it happens. DD2 also needs to take a major professional exam so she will be a PE, a certification in engineering - hers will be in structural engineering. DD2 also is doing a marathon in January (I think one and only); she has done several half marathons and is doing another in Feb.

We had very little time with SIL before engagement and wedding - a few brief meetings. We only have had significant time (and better insight) with his parents at their home this last Christmas Season (we stayed in a hotel), so I am understanding a bit more about SIL. The year of their engagement, he was in another city than her, about 1 1/2 hours away from her by car; so they met up on time off and talked a lot with wedding planning. He found work in DD1’s city, but was seeking other opportunities and was not (and still is not) the primary breadwinner (by a very significant amount). His career path will pay off more so in a few years, but he has a lot of time and effort to put into it. And now, DD1 has to work on a Master’s with the new hospital (VA system, same job but larger hospital and larger work group for her to manage). SIL may eventually ‘catch up’ with DD1 pay, but maybe not.

My DH has never been threatened if I earned more than he did, and actually he would enjoy that. I have been very good with financial management, and DH has always maintained a career job since college graduation, w/o layoff or breaks in work/pay - although many times it was a very strong possibility.

So excited to finally be able to join grandparents thread as of next March :blush:

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Congratulations @scmom12 !

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Little kid took her daughter in for her 4th month checkup. Baby’s height 93%, weight… 45%, consistent with her previous measurements. The doc was not worried but grandma is worried, of course! Little Miss String Bean seems to be doing fine and hitting all developmental milestones like babbling, laughing (especially when she sees her dad or grandfather, lol), rolling over, grabbing at toys with interest, and pulling objects into her mouth. Also making crawling movements. Footed onesies are a problem though. She is in size 9 months - otherwise her legs get squished, and she cries!

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